A/N: Thanks to Kelly for helping me stick with the right title and yeah, okay…sigh…for pointing out that one line.

-Bobbi Manuel

Bikini Fic

Chapter One

So here I sit, staring at a woman who is wearing the skimpiest bikini I have ever seen. It’s red, I think. It’s kind of hard to tell for sure because there’s not much material to judge from. It’s more like two pasties and a thong than a decent bathing suit.

Everyone’s eyes are on her, well all two of them. People, not eyes. I mean, the people each have two eyes, so that would mean there are four eyes on her, except there are six because mine are also…

I’m starting over. The woman, her obscenely small red bikini, all still totally of the valid. What I left out is that she’s currently standing in a swimming pool, tossing kids into the air like she’s having a great time. Based on the way she’s laughing and splashing around, I guess she is.

The two people who are staring at her, besides me, are the parents of the kids. Their names are Kevin and Cindy Dawson., and it’s the last day of their fabulous, all-expense paid vacation. They are busy telling me what a great time they had in spite of everything. When they say “everything”, they’re referring to Kevin’s broken leg and the circumstances that led to that brokenness.

Cindy, who is definitely the most in love and devoted wife that I’ve ever seen, is lounging right next to Kevin on those chairs…what are they called? Oh yeah right, lounge chairs. Duh. Anyway, she’s been waiting on him constantly and seems just thrilled to do it. It’s sweet how much she loves him.

We’ve become very friendly with them these last few days, and I guess it’s only natural that we help entertain their kids…Yeah, I don’t get it either, but that’s how it’s gone. The kids are happy with it, but then most normal seven and nine year olds are happy, especially when they’re being flung all around a pool by a woman wearing the tiniest scrap of material ever to call itself a bathing suit.

I know I should try to relax, maybe just have another sip of my Diet Coke which is so long gone. Okay, fine. I’ll have some of her Coke then. It’s all warm now, and the can is downright hot, but I am going to drink it anyway because I am now relaxing. Behold my relaxedness. I am all about the…

Suddenly Kevin lunges at me, and I just manage to stop myself from punching him right in the face. At best I thought he was going for her Coke, and at worst? Well just about anything could be the worst. It turns out he was only leaning in closer to say something in confidence, and I guess his cast kind of overbalanced him.

“You guys have been so good to us. I don’t know how we can ever repay you.”

He keeps talking, but I don’t hear a thing he’s saying. As I look at him, all I can think is how easy it would be to knock him unconscious with the half empty can in my hand. I want to do it, but instead I just smile my smile, the really sweet one.

It’s a smile that those who know me best, know is completely insincere and way more than a little dangerous. I’ve seen the fiercest demons take a step back when they’ve caught a glimpse of it, but Kevin? He just smiles back and pats my arm:

“The kids wish we could stay with you forever.”

I feel a snarl trying to escape, but I fight it down.

“…They’re great kids.”

And those three words are all it takes. Cindy is off and running now, beaming with pride and love as she lists off all of the kids’ accomplishments and talents…again. I keep the smile right there, plastered to my face, but as I stare at them I wonder what it would sound like if I clunked their heads together. Not hard enough to kill them, just enough to make them quiet and not here.

“…and we’re so lucky to have them.”

“You sure are.”

So, so very lucky, and I want to scream at her to take them back. But then, just before I reveal myself as the world’s biggest bitch, a loud commotion erupts in the pool. Terrell and Gladys, oh excuse me: TKO and The Gladinator have just dunked their nickname giver, and dunked her hard.

They’re giddy, laughing and high fiving, but then she’s not coming up like she’s supposed to. More time passes, and now the kids and their parents are beginning to panic just a little bit. As the clock keeps right on ticking off the seconds, Kevin sits up with a worried look on his face:

“Hey uh…is she alright?”

I casually drain the rest of her Coke.

“Don’t worry, she can hold her breath forever.”

“Yeah but it’s been almost forever and…”

“She’s fine.”

Just then as if on cue, she rockets up through the water, grabbing onto their suits as she leaps up. They scream in delight as she tosses them high into the air, and then she stands there laughing as they come crashing back down into the pool. She watches closely as they swim their way back to the surface, her amusement easy to see.

They are nothing but giggles, and it’s clearly nothing but fun. Oh yeah, it’s the funnest of fun. A big ride on the carousel that is called “Fun”. Yep, clearly major fun is being had by all. Yea, behold the fun.

Cindy finally, and I do mean “finally”, takes some pity on me even though she has no clue that I need it.

“Okay kids, time to get out.”

They swim close to their new best friend, clinging to her as tightly as they can. They think she can protect them, but I know that no one, no matter how tough and strong they are, can ever overrule a mother when she’s serious about the time. And I know a mother is never more serious about the time than when she wants her kids to get out of the pool.

“Excuse me, what did I just say?”

“C’mon Mom, just one more minute!”

“Yeah, can’t we just play a little bit more?”

Cindy’s standing up now, and although she never even raises her voice, her next words have them scrambling to get out:

“I gave you ten extra minutes, now get your behinds out of that pool.”

They’re out in seconds, even though it’s plain to see they feel they’re being treated unfairly.

“Thank you. Now go let your dad get you dried off.”

Kevin has already swung himself around to the edge of his chair, and he’s holding a big beach towel at the ready. The kids never say a word as they trudge over to him, their depression and despair plain to see.

He manages to lift their gloom a little with some silly jokes, but as for his drying skills? Well, he’s definitely an enthusiastic drier, I’ll give him that. He finishes with a big flourish, but the kids are still all wet somehow. He doesn’t seem to notice:

“There you go! See if Mama needs any help, okay?”

They head over to Cindy, and she gives them the most precise directions I have ever heard. It’s so smart of her because she’s left them no way out. They can’t pretend, like they do with Kevin, that they don’t know what to do. She just told them clearly and concisely.

While they go about their chores, Kevin is grunting and groaning as he struggles to get to his feet…or foot, in this case. It’s not an easy thing to do because the chair he’s sitting on has no arms, and his crutches have somehow slid just out of his reach. I hop right up to help because anything I can do to get them moving faster, well let’s just say I’m there for them.

I pull him upright and hand him his crutches.

“Thanks. I sure could get used to having me a strong woman around.”

He’s obviously being funny, but then this look goes across his face. Almost before I can really register what it is that I’m seeing, I hear what the problem is:

“Boy, you got all the woman you can handle right here.”

She’s kidding too, for the most part, but he knows he should smooth it over anyway. He clumps over to her and kind of falls into her arms, nuzzling his face into her neck:

“That’s absolutely right, baby. This boy won’t ever need more.”

They laugh then, and now they’re kissing. The kids and I groan, except mine has to remain silent. Sure it’s all very sweet, of course it is. They’ve been married for almost twelve years, and they’re still all over each other. It’s wonderful, it’s inspiring, and dear God in heaven, could it just be someplace else?

I look over at her and although she’s smiling as she watches them, I can see she’s also a little sad. I guess “wistful” would be the right word. Her arms are folded and resting on the pool deck as she stands in water a little bit above her waist, and I guess that means she’s decided to say goodbye from right there. The kids keep glancing at her, but her mind is clearly somewhere else for the moment.

Seeing no help coming from her, they evidently figure out they have to take matters into their own hands:

“Can’t we stay just one more day?”

“Yeah, one more day would be perfect!”

The lovebirds have finally managed to break apart, but uh-oh. Cindy looks all dazed and happy, not something any mother should be. Not at a time like this anyway. She needs to be tough here, I need her to be tough here, but she’s completely off her game. Way, way, way off her game. So far off, it’s like she’s not even playing the game.

“…What babies? Uh…no we can’t afford…”

“But you could keep our allowance!”

“Forever! We’ll never ask for another thing!”

“…I don’t know…”

Now Kevin chips in:

“Aw, you guys are having a great time, aren’t you?”

“The best.”

“Daddy, can we stay until tomorrow? Please?!”

Oh my God! Cindy’s just staring off into space with the goofiest smile on her face, and meanwhile her precious little monsters are busy wrapping their father right around their fiendish little fingers.

“Well, I don’t know. Maybe we…”

“I promise I’ll eat my broccoli without arguing!”

“And I’ll keep my closet clean all the time!”

“Hmm…What do you think honey? We don’t have to be back at work ‘til Monday.”

“Yeah…Monday…”

“We could just put it on our card and…”

He’s actually considering it! He’s trying to stay another day! I start to panic…How can I break his other leg and make it look like an accident?!

“What do you say baby? Wanna stay another day?”

As I start to make my move, Cindy finally, and I mean “finally” more than I ever have before, comes to her senses:

“Our card? Are you crazy?! It took us four years to pay that bitch off! Now you want to…No way, the vacation’s over. Now everybody get moving!”

Thank you God! My legs feel all shaky as the relief shoots through me. How close a call was that?

“But Dad…”

“No, your mom’s right. We need to get back home, you kids say your goodbyes.”

The kids know it’s a lost cause now, and they take it pretty well. They run to her first of course because she’s everybody’s favorite by a mile. They warmed up to her on sight, she just has a way with kids. Maybe they sense something in her, maybe she sends out some kind of vibe that’s on their frequency. Whatever it is, I’ve seen it time and time again, and it’s pretty darn cute.

That look of sadness is gone now, and she’s nothing but smiles as she says goodbye. Then here they come, hugging me and getting me all wet despite Kevin’s bang-up job of drying them off. Now that they’re truly leaving, I remember that I actually do like them. They’re sweet kids, smart, polite, and all kinds of fun.

I tell them goodbye and check that they have our address. They do of course, she made sure of that last night. I’m not positive who’s most excited with the plan to be e-mail buddies, but the smart money’s on her.

While the kids are explaining to me that they are going to write to us every single day for the rest of their lives, Kevin and Cindy are thanking her for limiting the damage to just one broken leg. She tries to blow them off and deflect all of the praise onto me, but they refuse to let her. She just laughs, and I’m probably the only one who knows she’s embarrassed when they call her a hero.

She’s so uncomfortable, and I’m not sure how I know that. Nothing’s changed, her smile is still there, her body still looks all relaxed, but something is different. I can’t pinpoint it, but I know she wishes she could drown herself in the pool. Then they thank her for being so good to the kids, and that compliment she takes with a huge and happy smile. She’s okay again as she says how much she enjoyed being with them.

Now it’s my turn with the grown-ups. They pull me into a hug, and Cindy tears up as she thanks me. Then Kevin starts crying a little because Cindy is, and I tell them I’m just glad we were there, that nothing worse happened.

I’m the epitome of the modest hero… “Just doing my job folks, no need to thank me, little lady…” but as they pull me closer, I get a little teary too. It’s such a sweet moment, how can I not? I mean, I am made of human parts.

They thank me for being so nice to the kids and them, and as they carry on singing my praises, I find myself wondering if I would have saved them had I known how it was all going to turn out. I mean, they have totally screwed up my plans for four long days now, and I do not have any happy feelings about that.

Okay yes, I would have saved them anyway, of course I would have. But come on, I am just a young woman and I don’t think I should keep being tested like this. One day, I just might fail.

So now it’s a last minute flurry of activity, followed by a big dramatic re-goodbye from the kids several minutes later, and then it finally happens:They…are…gone.

Gone as in gone. So gone they are “gone gone”. Gone for good. Gone away. Going, going, gone.

It’s just us now, me and her all alone at last. The dearly departed are dearly departed, and I can barely stop myself from shouting out something totally ridiculous like, “Yeehaw!”

I don’t though because I’m definitely not a “yeehaw” kind of girl, and when you think about it, who really is? Plus I’m trying to present a certain image here, and screaming out “yeehaw”, although way big with the image presentation, well it’s not the one I’m going for. I think I can safely say it never will be either.

I want to be taken seriously, and who shouts out “yeehaw” and expects to be taken seriously? You couldn’t be in a job interview and just suddenly holler out……Why do I do this?

My point is they’re gone, and the pool is now ours and ours alone. It’s just for our room and the room next door, and that room is, and will continue to remain, blessedly empty. That means we have a pool with a view, and the complete and utter privacy in which to enjoy it. That is a very appealing, flat-out tantalizing thought, and I plan to make it a very appealing, flat-out tantalizing reality.

We are in an incredibly beautiful and romantic place, and we’ve got six more days and nights to enjoy it...alone. Trust me when I say we are going to enjoy it or I’m going to kill us both in the attempt. When you consider I don’t die very easily, and for that matter neither does she, well you can see just how determined I am.

To start with, there will be no more pool sharing. There will be no more next door neighbors with their adorable kids. There will be no more next door neighbors with their ugly kids. There will be no more next door neighbors with their nonexistent kids. There will be no more next door neighbors of any kind whatsoever because I have seen to that.

I thought Giles was going to have an aneurysm when I called him, but I was not taking “no” for an answer. I majorly guilt tripped him into reserving the adjoining room for absolutely no one. It was a huge waste of money, plus he had to pay for the accommodations of the people he kicked out, but I didn’t and don’t care. The way I look at it, after all my years of service, it’s the least The Council’s money can do for me.

I sit back down and recline on my chair, slipping my sunglasses on so I can watch her without getting caught. She dives under, then comes up slinging her head back. Her hands stroke through her hair until it’s slicked back tight against her head, her bikini top shifting this way and that.

I watch her arm muscles flex and ripple as she casually and oh so gracefully, hoists herself from the pool. My eyes follow along on all the random paths the water is trailing down her body, and I just want to…My, it sure is hot out here today.

She just stands there looking out at the incredible view, and as the sun beats down on her, I know I’ve never seen anything quite so beautiful in my entire life. She’s unaware that I’m seeing only her when she says:

“Man, sure is something to see.”

“It sure is.”

She shakes her head like she can’t believe what she’s looking at, then walks over and grabs her drink from the table. Her smile begins to fade as she finds her can empty, then disappears altogether when she discovers mine’s dry as well.

“What the hell?”

“Hmm?”

“What happened to the drinks?”

“Aren’t they there?”

“Christ B, not like you were even doing anything. Just been lazing around on your ass.”

“True, but my lazing was done with all my might.”

“Shit, can ya be a bigger pig?”

She saves me from having to answer by heading into our room, and I watch her every step of the way. It’s like I’m mesmerized by her, her looks, her voice, the way she moves, the way she puts certain words together, pretty much by the way she breathes in and out. I keep staring at the doorway, just waiting for her to reappear.

I feel her before I see her, then she emerges back into the sunlight holding two ice cold cans. She pops the tab on the Diet Coke and hands it to me with a smile. It’s such a simple thing, but it just makes me melt.

There’s a slight breeze as she leaps over me and lands fully sprawled out on her chair. She throws her head back and downs her Coke in one long go, and I begin counting in my head. Just as I reach four:

“Damn, shoulda brought two.”

She throws her hands high above her head, extends her legs, and yeah I know that’s called “stretching”, but add in the incredible purring noise she makes as she’s doing it, well I’m sorry. There just isn’t any word in any language that can do it justice. And now here come the dimples:

“Hey, any chance you could maybe…”

I wordlessly hand over my drink and watch as her smile takes over her whole face.

“Thanks, B!”

She swallows nearly half the can, then makes a disgusted face at me:

“Jesus Christ, how can you drink this crap?!”

“I like it.”

“Ya can’t. Tastes like somebody pissed in a can.”

“And just how many cans of piss have you drunk in your life?”

“Just this one…Fuck!”

She polishes it off, then makes a noise like she’s going to vomit.

“Good thing I got Slayer healing.”

“If you keep insulting my favorite drink, you’re going to need it.”

She looks at me with her patented smirk:

“I can take your lazy ass any time I want.”

Yes you can, and I am way more than willing. Take away.

We sit there in what seems to be a comfortable silence, but on my end I’m practically jumping out of my skin as I begin imagining all the ways she could take my ass. There are so many ways, and I only make it to # 6 before it becomes clear that she wants to talk.

She lets out a huge sigh, and then all is silent again as she waits for me.

“What?”

“Nothing…Just gonna miss’em, is all.”

“Me too.”

Oh great, now I’m a liar because I am going to miss them like I would miss head lice. Or body lice. Is there any real difference? Does one kind live just in your hair while the other one gets to roam all over your body, but then has to stop at your hair? God, how gross is that?

They are so disgusting, and I can definitely say that I don’t want any in my hair. Of course it’s not like I’d be fine with having any on my body either. And do they get in all of your hair? Even your…Oh crap, she’s talking.

“…and it was neat having little kids around.”

“Mmm…”

“Sure are a great family. They really love each other.”

“Uh-huh.”

“And how cool is it that they won that contest? Nobody ever wins that shit, ya know?”

“Mmm hmm.”

She looks at me:

“Hey, you okay?”

“Fine, just a little tired.”

“Yeah, noticed the tossing and turning. You worried about something?”

“Not really.”

“’Cause it’s all good, right? Just get to hang ‘til G-man and Red pick-up the trail again.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Nice of the bad guys to run like pussies. We can use some R and R.”

“Yep.”

“Sure you’re okay?”

“Just restless.”

And so worked up about you, I can barely think straight…and yes, I absolutely mean it like that.

“Maybe you need your own bed. Want me to see if I can grab another room?”

“No! I mean, Giles would never go for that.”

“Yeah, guy acts like it’s his dough. Guess it kinda is, but still. He’s so fucking tight all the fucking time, like he’s gotta hang onto every stinking nickel and dime.”

“I know.”

She’s acting all mad, but she loves Giles now and always harasses him about something. Whenever he gets going about the “importance of maintaining a sound fiscal policy”, she calls him a “freakin’ cheap ass” right to his face, and he just lets her get away with it. I’ve even seen him smile about it when he thinks no one’s looking.

“Can bet your ass was Red who made us these bitchin’ reservations. Giles woulda just checked us into some dumpy ‘Motel 5 and a half’. She musta tricked him or something ‘cause no way would he approve such a swanky joint.”

“For sure.”

She sighs and leans her head back against the chair’s cushioned headrest.

“Best place I’ve ever stayed in. It’s fucking awesome.”

“It is beautiful.”

“So the bed sharing’s not a problem then?”

“Not for me. Is it for you?”

“You gotta be kiddin’ me. I’ve never slept so good.”

“Really?”

She seems to tense for a second:

“…Uh yeah, must be the ocean air or something.”

“Well good then, it’s settled. There will be no changing of things. We’ll stay the status quo. I’m status, you’re quo.”

“Cool. Hey, wanna patrol tonight? Nothing like a good slay to help ya work off some of that tension.”

Oh I know exactly how I want to work off some of my tension. In fact, I have a million great ideas on how to work off my tension. # 6 involves…

“…always works for me, what about you?”

I don’t have a clue what we’re talking about, so I go with my standard emergency fall back:

“Mmm hmm.”

She laughs and smacks me on the arm:

“Yeah, right! Fucking crack me up, B.”

Chapter Two

We had lunch by the pool, then when the afternoon heat rolled around, we went in and pretended to take a nap. Well I pretended, she really did fall asleep. I ended up watching her as she slept, just like I’ve done every night since we arrived here.

I’m sure that everything I felt for her was on my face, but I really couldn’t care less. I’ve got nothing to hide anymore, it’s all out in the open…except that it’s a secret. Okay, that didn’t come out right.

What I meant to say is that it’s all out in the open with me and Willow, and as crazy as it sounds, Giles is on the “open” team too. Everybody else is in the dark, but that’s not going to be true for much longer, pretty soon the whole world’s going to know.

See it’s all really simple: I want Faith. I want her more than I’ve ever wanted anyone or anything in my entire life. I am filled with want and lust and desire and need. I am filled with the biggest of the big. That’s right, I am completely and positively filled with love for Faith.

There’s no doubt about it, none at all. I am madly in love like never before, and I want her. Physically and emotionally I want her to be mine, and I so desperately want to be hers. Yep, I want her…and I am going to have her.

This whole “business” trip is a set-up. It’s a big lie, an elaborate pretense designed to get us here all alone. There are no bad guys and there never were. I just wanted to go someplace romantic, just the two of us, so I could seduce her.

I have it all planned out, well I had it all planned out, until The Dawson family messed everything up. But it’s okay, I can adapt, that’s one of my best qualities. I can be all adapty when the situation calls for it, and this situation is definitely calling for it. In fact, this situation is flat-out screaming for it.

The basic part of the plan is still on track. I am going to show her how I feel about her, and then I’m going to tell her how I feel about her. It’s kind of the reverse way of going about it, but it’s what’s going to work best, of this I’m absolutely positive.

These are special circumstances if ever there were special circumstances, and I’ve got it all figured out. Showing her is the best way to start, and I took us away from home so that I could have her full attention with no distractions. I want to be able to take all the time I need to take, to be able to say and do whatever I have to in order to get her to understand.

Probably some back story would be helpful right about now…Well, it’s been over two years since we defeated The First and destroyed my little Hellmouth of a town. Angel and Spike have been gone now for fifteen months, that’s still so hard for me to believe, and I’ve been back from Italy for just over a year.

It’s a long story, but the gist of it is, we saved the world again and then what? All that was left was us and a school bus, well that and the wide-open road stretching out ahead. And the truth of it? I wanted that open road. I wanted out, I wanted away, and most of all, I wanted to live my own life.

We all scattered the first second we could, still a team maybe, but no longer any kind of family. That had all vanished during our big fight in Sunnydale, and it never came back. When I walked out of my own house after they’d made it so clear they didn’t want me there, well let’s just say it was not a highpoint for The Slayer and her Scooby Gang. I felt betrayed by all of them, and I guess they felt the same about me.

We didn’t hate each other, but it was tense and painful to be around them. It was professional between us, but that’s all it was. None of us had anything else left, it was just gone. I’d had more than enough, so when my chance came I never hesitated. I took off for Europe, all carefree and normal.

Little problem there because I am most definitely not normal, and I just can’t pull off “carefree” anymore. It turns out I like being a Slayer, it’s a big part of who I am. It also turns out that I need it, I don’t feel right without it. But I wasn’t a quitter, so I kept right on trying to make a go of it. That was me, all carefree and normal.

I got bored so quickly it was embarrassing. Dawn began missing everything back home about six weeks into it, that’s what world travelers the Summers girls turned out to be. I told her she could go back, but she wouldn’t, not without me.

So we decided to settle in Italy and make the best of it. It shouldn’t have been a big hardship, it was Italy after all. I received plenty of money every month from The Council, okay from Giles, for services rendered. We had more than enough to live in a very nice style, and it was one we should have become accustomed to.

We never did, but life carried on the way it always does. Then one night Andrew just showed up at our door. We were so happy to see him, and boy doesn’t that just say it all? He moved in with us, and I finally couldn’t take it anymore.

I mean the not slaying, Andrew actually worked out fine. He loves to cook, he’s great at it, and he and Dawn became pretty close. Yep, Andrew was a very good thing, it was the not slaying and not being involved that began getting to me.

I ended up calling Giles, and just like that I was back in. It turns out that everyone else had missed it too, and one by one we all came back to the fold. The fold had to be pretty large because we were all still scattered around the world, but Giles made it work somehow. I guess because he’s Giles.

It was great at first, just what I needed, but then I began to miss them. I’d call in every couple of weeks for my assignment, and Giles’ voice would just trigger this longing in me. I wanted my family back, but I knew for all intents and purposes, my family was dead. Too much had happened, too much to ever come back from.

We’d turned on each other, lost track of who we really were, and it just wasn’t possible to recover from something that severe. It was sad and it hurt, but it was what it was. Somebody once said, “You can’t go home again”, and boy were they right. Especially when your home’s just a big crater in the ground and your family doesn’t know you anymore.

One night at about three in the morning, there was a pounding on our door. I had no idea who it could be, and judging by the sleepy look on Dawn’s face and the terrified one on Andrew’s, they didn’t either. I grabbed an axe and opened the door.

“Hiya B, what’s shakin’?”

She breezed right in, no invitation needed, and collapsed down onto the sofa. In seconds she had her dirty boots resting on our coffee table as she looked around the room:

“Nice digs. Got anything to eat?”

“…Faith?”

“Been awhile, but figure I’m all unforgettable and shit.”

Andrew looked panicked. He’s got issues, don’t ask, and he nearly screamed out the question on all our minds:

“Is the world ending?!”

“Jesus Andy, wanna take it down a notch? World’s spinning fine, far as I know. Hey Squirt, got any leftovers?”

Dawn yawned, then not too surprisingly said:

“Get your own fucking food, bitch.”

“Whoa, gotcha a real pair, yeah?”

“I don’t need this, I’m going back to bed. Try not to kill us all in our sleep.”

“Think I can promise. Sweet dreams, Dawnie.”

“Go to hell.”

Faith laughed then, her eyes showing nothing but amusement and respect:

“Probably, but still got me some time.”

Dawn slammed her door hard enough to rattle the pictures on the wall, and Andrew as well. He jumped about a foot and went white.

“Fuck, now what is it?”

“Nothing…I…I just don’t like surprises.”

“Great. Why don’t ya haul your girly ass back to bed? Gotta talk to B.”

Andrew never even moved, he just looked at me.

“Um…Buffy?”

“Wow B, another lapdog. How do ya do it?”

I smiled at him:

“Andrew, just go to bed. Everything will be fine.”

“Are you sure because I could…”

“I know you could, but it’s okay. Goodnight.”

He looked relieved and didn’t say another word as he took off for the safety of his room. I turned to face her then, and I think I made it pretty clear that I was not happy to see her.

She knew that, which is why a big annoying smirk appeared on her face. She got up and sauntered past me into the kitchen like she’d done it a million times before. She turned on the light, flung open the refrigerator, and began digging around in the most annoying way possible.

After watching her for about fifteen seconds, I shoved her aside and told her to sit down. That smirk was still in place as I slammed a roast beef sandwich and a bottle of beer down onto the table, right in front of her.

“Now talk, why are you here?”

“Came to bring ya home.”

“Excuse me?”

She was trying to unwrap the sandwich.

“…Fucking cellophane, hate this shit! You heard me.”

“Are you out of your mind?”

“C’mon B, this whole deal’s ridiculous. You don’t belong here, you belong back home.”

“Really? And just where might this ‘home’ be?”

She spared me a quick glance:

“For now? Cleveland, but wouldn’t bet that’s where it’s always gonna be.”

“Faith…”

“Man, who the fuck wrapped this? It’s like trying to bust into Fort Knox…Your home’s with Giles and Willow and Xander and Dawn. Location don’t mean shit.”

I yanked the sandwich out of her hand and unwrapped it for her:

“In case you’ve forgotten, we lost that a long time ago. So thanks for stopping by, don’t let the door hit you on the way out.”

She looked me right in the eye and began laughing. I had to fight the urge to smash her head in with our cast iron frying pan.

“That shit ain’t gonna fly. You’re talking to me now, Blondie.”

“Not by choice.”

“Guess you still got that burr up your ass. Ever stop clenching your cheeks, it just might come out.”

“I don’t even know what that means, but I know it’s disgusting enough to…”

“Means that what went down is over. Means I’m sick of watching Giles miss you every fucking minute of every fucking day. Means I’m tired of Willow asking me over and over if I’ve heard anything from you. Means it’s gotten way old when Xander compares everything that goes down to something you did in Sunny D.”

Her eyes never left mine, and she forced me to look away:

“Well I’m sorry, but I don’t miss…”

“Don’t say that ‘cause then I gotta call you a fucking liar. And don’t try telling me all the stupid bullshit you been telling yourself. Already got plenty of my own runnin’ loose in here.”

I didn’t know what to say to that, so I didn’t say anything at all.

“You’re still mad because they turned on you, and I don’t blame ya. ‘Cause that’s just what they did B, they turned on you like a buncha ungrateful, backstabbing, two-faced pussies. It got tough, and not one of them had your back.”

The silence just stretched there between us for a long time, and finally I responded:

“Okay then, that really makes everything so much better. Thanks.”

“Ever ask yourself why?”

“Faith, could you just leave now? All I want is to go back to bed and forget you were ever here.”

“Geez B, think you could pry that stick outta your ass? Gotta be getting pretty crowded in there.”

My reply to her was calm because that’s what I did back then. I kept all my emotions in check because I didn’t want to feel them, any of them.

“If I do, I might just beat you with it.”

“Free to try, but I’m not your little whipping boy. I just might fight back.”

I was mad then, madder than I’d been in forever.

“That makes two unflattering references to Spike. Trust me when I tell you there won’t be a third.”

“I supposed to be pissin’ my pants now? Hey, got any mustard?”

I got out the jar and threw it at her just as hard as I could. She caught it with a grin:

“Thanks…Just gonna spread it with my finger, no way am I asking you for a knife.”

What else could I do? I laughed and grabbed a knife, handing it to her as I sat down across from her.

“All right, what are you trying to tell me?”

“They had reasons B, G-man figured it out. Not my place to explain it to you though.”

“But it’s your place to be here?”

“Probably not, but you know how I am.”

We sat quietly while she inhaled her beer and sandwich.

“Damn, did that ever hit the spot.”

“Faith, as much as I might want to…I just can’t go back and act like nothing happened.”

“Course ya can’t, don’t hear anybody asking ya to. But what ya can do is go back and try and fix things. You don’t belong here, and I know sure as shit you don’t wanna be here either. That’s why we’re booked on a flight that leaves in…damn, just about eight hours.”

“What?!”

“Yep, even got the yippy little rat boy a ticket.”

“I can’t just…We can’t…”

“Gang’s all back, just waitin’ on The Slayer to show.”

“There are hundreds of Slayers now and…”

“Buffy, there’s only one and we all know it. Wanna see her? Look in any mirror. Ya got an extra blanket and pillow? Could really use some sleep ‘fore I hop back on a plane.”

I went and got the spare stuff, then helped her make up the couch. As I went to turn off the light, her voice stopped me:

“B?”

“Yeah?”

“Was just trying to get the blood flowing before. Spike was a good man, a fucking hero. He wasn’t anybody’s lapdog, guy just knew class when he saw it. You were right about him, all the way.”

I couldn’t even respond. I felt so many emotions just surging their way right to the surface, and my eyes filled with tears. It was such a sweet thing to say, and it was a real comfort to me somehow. I could barely choke out my goodnight, but she seemed to understand.

“See ya tomorrow.”

I walked down the hall and stood outside Dawn’s door until I’d managed to compose myself. It took a couple of minutes, and then I went in to ask her how she felt about leaving. She was already packing.

“Dawnie, are you sure?”

“I’m sure. I just want to go home.”

“How did you know?”

“Why else would she be here?”

Andrew was thrilled too, and before we even knew it, we were back.

It took awhile. There were a lot of discussions, arguments, tears, accusations, apologies, and there was plenty of pain to get through, but we did it. We made our way back to each other because we couldn’t do anything else, it was where we all belonged.

It seemed way clear that The Hellmouth had been affecting them, and it was just as clear that I did my patented, extra-special, don’t try this at home "Buffy Summers Pull Away". We’d all made mistakes and done stupid things. There was nothing to do about it except get over it, so we did, and everything went back to the way it was supposed to be.

Faith never asked for any credit, but it was all thanks to her. She dragged all of us back one by one, not taking “no” for an answer from any of us. She helped Giles get the new and improved Council up and running, and she trained every single new Slayer who showed up.

While the rest of us took off, Faith stayed and she did her duty on the frontline each and every single night. She helped Giles with all the day to day operations, and never once complained about the huge workload and responsibility. She did her duty and more, and she never once backed away from it.

Except when they got the word about Angel. Evidently Faith went into a tailspin for about a month, drinking every night, getting into fights and slaying like a madwoman. Apparently it was touch and go for a while, but then she just pulled herself together.

In some ways, I think it hurt her worse than me. She loved Angel so much. He was her savior, and she felt she owed him everything. She hated that she hadn’t been with him, that he hadn’t asked her for her help. It was hard for her to deal with, and she felt like she had let him down.

She got a letter from him after he died, but she didn’t tell anyone what it said. Willow told me Faith read it in the living room, then stood up and hurled the chair she’d been sitting in, right through the window. She walked out, and they didn’t see her again for a week.

I understood how she felt, I’d received my own letter. I was so angry at him for not calling me. Sure we’d been having problems, but I would have gone to his side no matter what. And I would have brought Faith and a hundred other Slayers with me.

But no, Angel had to be Angel and go it alone…and this time it cost us everything. I wanted to hate him for it. I convinced myself that I did for awhile, but he’s Angel, and I will never be able to feel anything but love for him. He did what he had to do, and I respect that. I have to.

I received no letter from Spike, and I didn’t expect to. He wouldn’t have known what to say, and how funny is that when I think about it? William, the Poet with no idea what words to write. But what words could ever explain him, me, our relationship?

It wasn’t the most normal of situations. I didn’t even know he was alive again until just before he died. And oh my God, was I furious with him. I decided in my infinite maturity that “I” would not be the one who contacted “him”. If he wanted to talk to me, he knew where I was. I would just wait his dumb ass out.

Of course I had no idea that in less than three weeks he was going to be gone for good. The cost of my stupid pride was so hard to get past, but I did it because I knew Spike would want me to. I don’t have any doubt about that, so I did my best to let that guilt go, and I’ve tried not to look back. And the thought that Angel and Spike were fighting side by side? Well that image never fails to bring a smile to my face.

So it hurt like hell for quite awhile, it still does somewhere deep down inside, but I cling to the fact that they went out like they wanted to and it helps. I made myself go forward just like I always do because I’m Buffy, The Vampire Slayer, and no matter what, I have to keep going. They’d expect nothing less from me, and I guess it’s what I expect too.

It helped so much when I came back home. Just to be surrounded by people who knew them both was a comfort, and Faith helped me really deal with what had happened. She’d suffered a huge loss as well, and somehow her understanding let me truly move on.

It was then it began, or maybe I should say it was then I began to notice what had probably been there right from the start. It came slowly, but it came, and I finally knew it for what it was. For the first time since I’d met her, I didn’t back away from it. I didn’t look for something else to hide behind, I didn’t try to ignore it and just carry on, and I didn’t pretend I didn’t feel it.

Faith and I have always had a Slayer connection, but there was also something else going on too. She made me feel alive whenever I was with her, and I knew she understood me, she always has. I never let that be a positive before, but now there was nothing in our way, nothing that made any difference, and I couldn’t see it as anything but a good thing.

She stirs me up inside like no one else ever has. It was like that the first time I saw her, and it’s something that has never changed, no matter what we’ve put each other through. This time around, I’m old enough to understand exactly what it means.

I sound all secure and mature now, but when I first figured all of this out, I was a little on the terrified side. I’m like anybody else, and finding out I wasn’t who I always thought I was, well it sure wasn’t all about the warm and comfy. It was scary, and I went around and around with it until I had myself totally frazzled. Still, I wasn’t going to panic. I thought maybe I was just overreacting or something. In fact, it wasn’t long before I’d talked myself into totally believing that theory.

I avoided her for a few days, then I went into action. I asked her to spar with me, that’s how confident I was. I mean, Faith wasn’t off the mark with the whole “hungry and horny” thing, even though she’s way more intense about it than I am. So I figured I’d jump right into the fire and prove to myself that I was not having feelings for her.

It went fine at first, normal service had resumed. It was just simple sparring, nothing else, and I felt the relief practically surging through me. I had no idea what I’d been thinking before, but I’d obviously gotten myself all worked up over nothing. I called myself an idiot, and settled into the workout.

We’d been going at it for about twenty minutes when I noticed that a few strands had worked their way loose from her ponytail. They were stuck against her neck by the sweat that was lightly coating all of the exposed skin that I could see, and for some reason I could not take my eyes off the damp spot on her shirt.

It was right above her breasts, and as a drop of sweat rolled down her neck and headed straight for it, I felt my body come alive. Apparently that hadn’t been “relief” I’d felt surging after all. Relief doesn’t usually affect a girl where I was clearly being affected.

My eyes followed that drop on its journey, but then I managed to pull my attention back to what I was doing. It was almost impossible to do, but I was determined. I told myself I was a Slayer, not some silly schoolgirl who couldn’t keep her mind on her business.

When I felt somewhat in control, I looked up to find her grinning at me all sexy and smug. I knew she knew, what else could that look mean? My heart sped up and I almost took off running, but then she laughed from down low in her throat:

“Aw B, you can look all ya want. Not gonna distract me, but nice try.”

I didn’t get it for a second, and yes, I am a blonde. The punch she delivered to my cheek made it all crystal clear.

She thought I was looking at her that way because I was playing with her. She thought I was just pretending in order to distract her. Talk about being saved by the bell…no, that’s not right. Saved by…

I never did figure it out. Just as I was celebrating that she didn’t know I was thinking about using her as my sex toy, her tongue came out and licked all around her lips. She was just doing it to be funny, to freak me out, but all it did was force my mind to wander to the thought of her and me naked on top of the…

The blow caught me on my chin and I went flying. I hit the mat and before I could move, she had me pinned. She was straddling me, her hands holding my wrists firmly above my head. Her mouth was just inches from mine and both of us were breathing deeply, causing our bodies to rub lightly against each other at some very interesting points.

I was like a deer in the headlights, well if the deer wanted to have sex with the headlights. She was all happy with the position we found ourselves in, and so was I. But I was also scared, so I began struggling to break loose.

“No way B, not ‘til you admit it.”

“Ad...admit it?!”

“Yep. Say I’m the best Slayer.”

She was laughing, and her dimples looked deep enough for me to crawl into. I am little, some would say tiny, and I think living in a dimple is a…

“Hey, knock off the escape plans. You’re mine baby, to do with as I please. You don’t do what I want, just might have to teach you what that really means.”

And it was then I knew. The thrill that shot through me at those words, the desire I felt to learn exactly what it really meant to be hers, well there was no way to deny it. Of course that didn’t mean I didn’t try. I’m an excellent tryer, and I gave it my all…later.

But at the time as I laid there with her nestled against me, her beautiful dark eyes smiling down at me, all I could think was how I wanted to raise my head until our lips met. And that was so just for starters. My mind was rapidly continuing on, assigning important tasks to all my other body parts, and I was getting ready to make my move.

She sensed something because she got this adorably confused look on her face, but then at the worst possible time, Dawn decided to burst in. She was furious at Giles because he wouldn’t give her an advance, and she was demanding that I talk to him for her. Normally her attitude would have made me do the exact opposite of what she was asking, but what I’d just almost done had me ignoring every time-honored sister rule in the book.

I struggled to get up, and Faith quickly leapt to her feet, extending her hand to help me. I felt wobbly, it was almost like I was drunk, but I decided to ignore that. Unfortunately I swayed just a little bit, and Faith reached out to steady me. A normal thing to do, but I reacted like she’d tried to kill me.

I used my Slayer speed to move away, then I accelerated like I was shot out of a cannon. Dawn was so busy complaining, she didn’t notice I was already gone from the room. I was hoping that would be the case until I made it upstairs to the safety of my bedroom, but she’s Dawn…Dawn after money…Dawn after money for clothes. She eventually tracked me down.

Anyway, I was shook up for five long days and nights. I went around and around with it, turning it this way and that, and it all kept coming back to the same thing. There didn’t seem to be anything I could do about it. It just sat there looking at me, and for the first time I was looking back.

It was a big deal, a huge thing, and I struggled to accept it. Like I said, nobody thinks it’s easy when you find out you’re not who you always thought you were. It’s scary, it shakes you, but there it is: the truth. It had been waiting patiently for me to face it for years, and I guess I finally got tired of running from it.

There was no one left to hide behind, there were no more distractions, no extenuating circumstances. There was just me and her and what had always been there between us. I wasn’t sure what it meant for my future, I wasn’t sure what I was going to do about it, but I knew what was true now. I knew how I felt, and I was all done backing away from that.

CHAPTER THREE

Two nights of freaking out about a whole bunch of different angles, led me right to Willow’s room. I stood in the hallway for a couple of minutes, inhaling and exhaling what were supposed to be big calming breaths. They didn’t seem to be calming me, but they did almost make me start hyperventilating.

I finally decided enough of the breathing, I needed Willow. All I had to do was knock, just lift my hand, curl it into a fist, and bring it down against the door. I had to count to ten twice, which of course makes it twenty, but then I did it. I knocked, and it wasn’t long before the door opened and there stood…Kennedy. Terrific.

Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t hate Kennedy or anything like that. But whenever I see her, I want to kill her. She definitely doesn’t like me either, and she’s always trying to push my buttons to get me to react to her irritating crap. She’s just a joy to be around.

“Hi, is Will here?”

“Why?”

God, she’s such a little bitch.

“Because I need to talk to her.”

“About what?”

“Gee Kennedy, if I wanted to talk to you, I’d have asked if you were in.”

“You wanna talk to Willow? Then you’re going to have to run it past me first…Buffy.”

Oh my God. She stood there with this snotty smile on her face, and I had to take it back: I really did hate her.

She’s a Slayer now too, strong and tough, every bit my equal…Not a chance. I can handle her with one arm tied behind my back, and so can Faith.

Giles had explained it, and yes there were charts and graphs and extremely big words involved, but what it all came down to is that Faith and I are the big shots. We’re like seniors to their geeky freshman. We’re faster, stronger, and tougher, and according to Giles we always would be. I guess you could say we’re still the real Slayers, the originals.

Kennedy didn’t want to accept that, hence the constant button pushing every single chance she got. She is such a baby.

“I so do not have time for your crap. Is Will here or not?”

Then she made her second mistake, poking her finger hard just under my collarbone:

“You might be Head Slayer, but this is still my room.”

I felt my temper rising, but I managed to control myself.

“That’s right, I am the Head Slayer, and I can assure you I know exactly whose room this is. I can also assure you that if you touch me again, you are very much going to regret it.”

She didn’t look scared, mostly she just looked stupid. Of course that made sense because she is way more stupid than anything else. So I’m guessing it was her stupidity that caused her to lean in the doorway instead of just stepping aside, and I’m assuming it had to be that same stupidity that pushed her to continue on with her stupid game.

“You want to talk to Willow?”

“Why yes I do, Kennedy.”

“Well then you’re going to have to talk to me first…Buffy.”

I love Willow, truly I do. She’s my best friend and she’s great. She was also the only thing preventing me from smashing my fist right through Kennedy’s face.

“Look I know it’s hard for you, but could you stop being so stupid?”

“No, you look…Buffy. I don’t worship the ground you walk on like everybody else does. If you’re looking for somebody to kiss your precious ass for you, why don’t you go track down your slutty little sidekick? I’m sure she’ll be happy to drop to her knees and lick your…”

The next thing we all knew, Kennedy’s feet were well off the ground as I held her by her throat. I slammed her hard against the wall, and as the plaster fell onto the carpet, I noticed she seemed to be all done talking. It seemed like she was much more interested in breathing, and it wasn’t going that well for her.

Then someone was clinging to my arm screaming my name, I think it was Dawn, but I wasn’t really listening. I was much too fascinated by all the pretty colors Kennedy’s face kept turning. It was like a beautiful sunset, it kept changing the more you stared at it.

At first she had a rather stunning bright red going, but then it became darker, shifting to a deep rich purple. It was a shade I’d never seen anywhere before, and even though I’m not a huge fan of the purple family in general, I’ve got to admit it was lovely. Oh sure, I’ve been known to wear a little light pastelly lavender as an accent, but outright purple? Not so much.

I vaguely heard footsteps coming, but I ignored them. Then a strong hand grabbed my arm, and when that did nothing to loosen my grip, another hand quickly followed, tugging hard until I was forced to let go. Kennedy crashed to the floor, gasping for all the air she could get while Faith slammed me up against a door.

“What the fuck is going on?!”

I was still not in control, and my voice came out all calm and scary:

“I was just explaining to Kennedy that I didn’t care much for her suggestion.”

“Jesus B, you coulda killed her!”

“Yeah, being a Slayer is dangerous.”

Faith grabbed my arm just above the elbow, then jerked it higher than my shoulder.

“OW!”

“C’mere!”

She marched me down the hall to her room, flung me inside, and slammed the door.

“Buffy, what the fuck is going on?”

“Didn’t you just ask me that?”

“Yeah, and I’m gonna keep asking ‘til I get an answer that makes some fucking sense!”

“I wanted to talk to Will, and as usual Kennedy was being an obnoxious bitch.”

“You just said it, ‘as usual’. So the hell what? She’s always a bitch, always pushing at us.”

“Well I guess I finally got fed up.”

“So you thought you’d just choke her to death in the hall?!”

“You’re right…I should have taken her into a room.”

“B, this isn’t funny. You snapped, went right off the deep end. You’ve been acting nuts

for the last few days, wanna tell me what’s wrong?”

I couldn’t face her, so I went to stare out the window with my back to her:

“…Nothing’s wrong.”

“Don’t lie to me. Wanna sling shit at somebody else, go ahead. With me, you’re gonna have to do a lot better.”

“Look, it’s no big deal. I was upset, I didn’t like her attitude, and then she said something that pissed me off.”

“B, Kennedy pisses you off just by existing. What’d she say that made you so…”

“Nothing! I mean, it was more her attitude.”

I tried to look as casual as I could, calmly walking over to her bed and sitting on the edge of it, all the while looking like I was fine. I could tell she wasn’t buying it for a second.

“Alright…I know you’re not telling me something, but I’m not gonna keep digging. Guess you need to talk it over with Red. If I go get her, ya think you could hold off on killing her girl?”

“As long as she doesn’t come near me.”

“Not much chance of that. Okay, stay put and I’ll grab Willow. Don’t move, promise?”

“I promise, no moving.”

“Okay, one sec.”

It wasn’t long before Faith was back with Willow, and both of them looked all worried.

“Gonna just head out to the mall with Squirt and Andy. You guys hang as long as ya wanna. And B, no more of that shit, yeah?”

She closed the door behind her, and then it was just Willow and me. Before either of us could say a word, I burst into tears. Willow sat down next to me and pulled me into a hug:

“Buffy, what’s wrong?”

I tried but I couldn’t even form words, let alone make any sense. It had all caught up with me, and it came out in this weird keening wail…wailing keen…Whatever it was, it lasted a long time and it was loud.

Willow just kept holding me, and eventually I calmed down. She went into the bathroom as I sat there sniffling, and brought back a million Kleenex. I needed every single one.

While I was busy wiping and blowing, she pulled two bottles of water from Faith’s mini-fridge and rejoined me on the bed.

“Can you talk yet?”

I nodded my head.

“So what’s going on?”

“I’m sorry Will, really I am. It’s just…Well, she really crossed a line this time and I…”

“I know. She managed to croak out what she said. Believe it or not, she’s really sorry. We had a big fight just before you got there, and I guess she kind of took it out on you.”

“God, I think I might have killed her if…”

“Well you didn’t, and you wouldn’t have. Her throat hurts, but she’s fine. She knows she was wrong, and when she can talk again, she wants to apologize.”

“I’m sorry Willow, I just…”

“Buffy, it’s okay, okay? I’m not mad, heck I felt like strangling her myself a little while ago.”

I laughed and drank almost an entire bottle of water before I spoke:

“This is all so messed up.”

“What is?”

I got up and started pacing, and when I didn’t stop, Will got up and joined me. It must have been a ridiculous sight to see, the two of us wearing a path in Faith’s carpet as we went back and forth, back and forth.

I glanced up and saw the worried look on her face as she kept pace with me step for step, and it made me smile at her.

“Okay, stop. We can sit back down now.”

“Are you sure? I don’t mind walking if you need to. You know I’m big with the exercise, well in theory. Plus there’s the whole clearing of the head thing…no downside there.”

She’s just so sweet. I took her by the hand and led her back to the bed. We sat side by side, but facing each other, and I wondered how I should start.

“So we’re going with the sitting? Okay, sitting is good too.”

I started to take a deep breath to calm down, but then I remembered where that led me last time. I decided to go straight to the talking.

“Will, I’ve got something to tell you and it’s going to be a big shock. I need you to help me figure some stuff out…God, I need you to help me figure almost everything out. But not how I feel, that’s the one thing I know for sure. I don’t have any doubts about that part of it.”

“Okay.”

“…Oh boy, this is harder than I thought it was going to be.”

“You can tell me anything Buffy, you know that.”

I wanted to get up and start pacing again, but Willow tightened her grip on my hand:

“Anything, Buff.”

“I know that, I do.”

“Okay then, so tell.”

I just blurted it out:

“I’m in love with Faith.”

Of all the reactions I’d been expecting, her reaction was not one of them. She just sat there, still looking like she was waiting…or something. It was hard to tell because she wasn’t really moving or speaking or even blinking.

“Aren’t you going to…Oh my God, are you in shock?! You are! Okay, okay…Sit down…You’re already down! That’s good, good girl Willow. Don’t panic…I need…”

“Buffy…”

“…cold water…A blanket!”

“Buffy…”

I didn’t really hear her, I was too busy using my Slayer speed to save her life. I was moving like a Slayer on speed, and I vaguely remember snatching a blanket from a chair and wrapping her up tight in it. Really tight. What could probably be described as “mummy tight”.

“Maybe you should get into bed? I’ll get a cold cloth and…”

“Buffy, I’m not in shock.”

“I wish I’d paid attention in class because…You’re not?”

“No, I’m not.”

“I don’t need to call for help?”

“Not unless it’s for yourself.”

“…So you’re okay?”

“I’m fine, except it’s a little uncomfortable being all wrapped up like this.”

“Huh? Oh, right. Here…”

I got mad as I began unwrapping her:

“Why the hell didn’t you say something?”

“You said you had some big shocking news, so I was waiting to hear it. I didn’t know your feelings for Faith were the big shocky thing.”

I had the blanket off of her, and I tossed it angrily back onto the chair.

“You didn’t? How could you not know?! Maybe you didn’t notice, but Faith is a woman and so am I!”

“Trust me Buff, I’ve noticed…boy have I noticed.”

“Well then how can you…Wait, tell me you meant that about Faith only?”

Her grin would have made me laugh at any other time.

“Wouldn’t you like to know?”

“Will! I am so not at the teasing stage yet.”

“Okay, sorry. Yes, I know both of you are girls.”

“And don’t you think that’s strange? I’m not even gay, and I’m in love with a woman!”

“I think that’s kinda how it happens, at least that’s how it was for me.”

I sat back down on the bed next to her.

“You know as crazy as it sounds, the gay thing is not what’s freaking me out the most.”

“It’s not?”

“Not even close. Will, I’m in love with Faith.”

“And?”

I had to start pacing again, but this time Willow let me go by myself.

“She’s Faith…Faith! All one night standy, ‘get some, get gone’, and I’m all ‘let’s get married and live happily ever after’.”

“I don’t think either of you is quite that…”

“Then there’s our past history…well I guess all history is past, but not like ours. I mean, who else has a history like ours? We’ve switched bodies, beaten each other up on a regular basis…we’ve even tried to kill each other. It’s not exactly the kind of stuff that makes you think ‘great romance’. All we’ve got is a huge can of worms or maybe just a rotten apple…What we have is a can of rotten apples with worms.”

“But there’s a lot more than just that stuff between…”

“And she’s Faith, you know? How much trouble is that all on its own, even when she’s being good? I must be insane, that’s what it is. I’ve completely lost my marbles, it’s finally happened. Where do you commit a Slayer? It can’t be a good place, I’ll probably have to be confined in…”

“Buffy, will you please try to calm down? It’s not helping anything to get so crazy that you can’t…”

“See? I am crazy, Will! I need to…”

She got up then and grabbed me by my arms:

“Shhh…It’s okay. Just be quiet and breathe.”

“I don’t know how! I tried it before and I almost lost consciousness! Will, what if I can’t breathe right?! How can I…”

“Buffy, stop! Let’s just calm down, okay? Sit here and… Come on Buff, just sit right here.”

She pulled me down until I was back on the bed, but she didn’t let go of me. She looked into my eyes and I don’t know if she did a spell or if it was just because she’s Willow, but I felt myself starting to calm down.

“Buffy, you are not crazy. You are in love, and that’s a whole different kind of crazy. It’s a normal crazy, an acceptable crazy, the kind of crazy we all want to feel. Of course there are big issues to deal with, things you need to figure out, and you’d really be crazy if you didn’t realize that. But you do, so you’re not, okay?”

“Okay.”

“I’m going to help you do whatever it is that you need to do, and we’re going to get it all worked out.”

“Is it even workable?”

“It’s totally of the workable, and there is nothing wrong with you loving Faith. You’ve had feelings for her for a long time, and it’s good that you’re finally admitting them.”

“…So you’re not freaked?”

“Nope, not even a little bit.”

“Really, Will?”

“What could I be freaked about? The gay part? All gayed up here, so I’m fine with that. The Faith part? I was there at the beginning, remember? I’ve known you’ve had feelings for her forever. And besides, I like Faith now. I think she’s great.”

I opened the second bottle of water and took a sip. I almost wished it was something stronger, but then I’m not much of a drinker, so water was probably best for everyone.

“As for the history thing, well it’s not important anymore. It is in the past Buffy, and as much as you’ve both changed, it just doesn’t matter now.”

I nodded, not convinced, but wanting desperately to be convinced.

“Faith is so great now. She’s all responsible and mature, she’s there for everybody. The new Slayers really look up to her, she’s like a mentor to them.”

“She is really good with them.”

“And she’s thoughtful and kind, and she’s really fun to be around. Everyone here is way big with the Faith loving.”

“Yeah, she’s great but…”

“But she’s still all Faith, and that’s definitely a handful, the biggest one ever. There’s no doubt she needs someone who can stand up to her, someone who can go toe to toe with her…Know anyone who can do that?”

I took another sip as I thought over what she was saying.

“I get it Will, it’s just…I’m scared. I love her so much…I want her to be mine, and only mine. I don’t want a fling, I need it all. I’m terrified that if we do get together, it’ll just be about the sex for her.”

Willow’s face had that serious look it gets whenever she’s really trying to get to the bottom of something. It made me feel better just seeing it.

“I get that, and I can see how it would be kind of scary. But Buffy, I don’t think she’s like that anymore. I haven’t even seen her with anyone in a long time.”

“Yeah, but just because she doesn’t bring them here…”

“But she almost never goes out unless all of us go. She hardly ever even dances with anyone except one of us or herself, and she turns down guys and girls all the time. I don’t think she just picks up…people anymore.”

“What do you think that means?”

Now it was Willow’s turn to pace.

“I’m not sure. I mean, when we go out she can still be all wild…Maybe it just means she’s matured.”

“Yeah, maybe.”

“She’s still all sexy and out for a good time though…but it’s like something’s missing. Maybe…I don’t know.”

“Will, what should I do? I can’t just blurt it out, she’d probably panic and take off.”

“Maybe, but maybe not. It’s different now, she might…”

“I wouldn’t be able to take it if she left. I want her to stay here with me.”

“So you should just sit down with her and tell…”

Willow was talking, but my mind was on the great idea that was slowly coming to me.

“…to lose? Buffy?”

“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?!”

“Uh, well if you’re thinking you should…”

“I am! I can do that Will, I can be all sexy and subtle. I’ll be subtly sexy! Thank you!”

“Buffy…”

I gave her a hug that made all the air shoot out of her lungs, and then I went hurrying out of the room. I had no more time for talking, I had a plan to plan and put into action.

It was the sexily subtle approach, and it was pure genius on my part. Just slowly, softly, smoothly let Faith know that I was interested. I could do it, I knew how to do it, and I was going to pull out all the stops to get it done. Yep, pure genius.

Chapter Four

For the next two weeks, that’s fourteen whole days, I let Faith know I wanted her. I hung around with her every chance I got, touched her a million times a day, invaded her personal space like I belonged there, and her reaction to it all? She was a total idiot.

No matter what I did, she took it the wrong way. Nothing worked, and the only time I thought I might have caught her looking at me with interest, was right after a really tough and nasty patrol.

I’d just dusted the last vamp, and then I felt her. I looked over and all I could think was, “Please let that look mean what I think it does”, but after a few more seconds of intense staring, all she said was:

“Starvin’ B, you?”

Not exactly the words I was longing to hear, not even close.

I kept at it, but the only difference I noticed was that she seemed to be a lot more grouchy than usual. I had no idea what was up her butt, but she just always seemed to be in a bad mood. It all kind of came to a head the night we went out.

Will, Xander, Dawn, Kennedy, Faith, and I were at our favorite place. We were all having fun, well all of us except for Faith. She hadn’t said two words since we’d arrived, and she was drinking a lot more than she usually did. I made a joke to her about it, and her answer was a little on the hostile side:

“What, you my fucking Watcher now?”

Okay, no more talking to Faith, for anybody. Then Justin came over.

He was this harmless guy who kept trying to hang around with us, me specifically. I wasn’t interested, but he couldn’t seem to get that. It was annoying, but we always just ignored him until he finally gave up and went away for the night.

He was handsome in a preppy kind of way, but I wanted nothing to do with him. I was completely and exclusively after the dark angry cloud sitting on my left, so I was a little more blunt with him this time than I usually was:

“Look, I’ve already told you fifty times that I’m not interested. Trust me, that’s never going to change.”

“All I need is a chance. You don’t even know me.”

“And I don’t want to. I’m sure there are plenty of other girls here who would be thrilled to…”

He completely ignored me, leaned across Faith and grabbed me by the arm.

“Come on, just one dance. I guarantee you’ll like it.”

“Let go of my…”

Before I could finish the sentence, Faith had him off me. His arm was bent up behind his back, and she was this close to breaking it.

“She said to get lost, and she said it really fucking nice. But I ain’t her, so I’m gonna say it a little different: Either haul it or I’m gonna break some bones, starting with your arm.”

Then she flung him into a nearby table. The whole thing tipped over, spilling food and drinks and Justin all over the place. The people at the table got up and just took off, and Justin lay sprawled on the floor looking more than a little stunned.

It was kind of shocking. She hadn’t done anything like that in a long time, plus it seemed like a huge overreaction. She was already back in her seat staring down into her drink, while the rest of us watched him struggling to regain some of his dignity.

“You fucking bitch! Who the fuck do you think you are? I should fucking…”

He stopped yelling just like that, and when I turned to look at Faith, I saw why.

She’d unsheathed her knife and had it sitting on the table in front of her.

“Three seconds and I’m gonna carve you up.”

We never saw him again.

I tried to talk to her about it, but all I got out of her was:

“Not in the mood tonight, Your Highness.”

I left it there, what else could I do except get into a big fight with her? I was clueless, but of course now I realize just what the problem was. Back then I thought she was just in a really bad mood. God, sometimes I am so stupid.

So okay, fine. Faith was all cranky, all the time, but I didn’t let it stop me. I stayed on track but after two weeks of getting no response, well I was getting a little cranky myself. It all kind of blew up on Day 14. Or more accurately, Night 14.

We were alone in the den watching some movie on TV. I’d maneuvered it so we were both sitting on the couch, and as the night went on, I edged closer and closer until I was right next to her. I was in full seduction mode, a real Mata Hari…Wait a sec, was she a big temptress or a big spy? Maybe she was both?

So not the point here. I’m just saying that even though I might not be a world famous seducer spy lady, I do know my way around. At least a little bit, and certainly enough to say with complete confidence that anyone should have been able to tell what I wanted, what I was after.

But Faith? The sexiest sexbomb to ever live? The woman who thinks about sex when she laces up her boots or washes pots and pans? Nothing.

She just sat there like I wasn’t even there. I was furious, frustrated, and confused. I finally gave up, huffed out a goodnight, and all I got in return was a mumbled “Night B”, before she went right back to watching the movie like nothing else was going on.

I felt like flouncing out, but I wasn’t sure how to do it anymore. In the old days, I was a flouncing expert. I was so flouncy, I could have taught classes. It’s a total girl thing, and there is nobody more “girly” than me, well except for the Slayer part of me. And that part seems to have effectively destroyed all my God-given flouncing abilities. You’d think there’d be a memo when stuff like that happens.

Anyway, it seems that all I can do now is storm, so storm I did. I slammed the door on my way out, then stomped up the stairs to my room. Stomping and storming are excellent tradeoffs for flouncing, but I didn’t appreciate that at the time.

I got into bed just steaming. When the clock made its way to 2:00 a.m., I threw it across the room. It bounced off my dresser and shattered, but that was fine by me. I was tired of it just sitting there ticking off the minutes so slowly, I felt like I was going insane. It was all so maddening, and I never thought it would go the way it was going.

I decided that was it. I was all done being subtle. Subtle was not working, she was obviously too stupid to get it. Time to adjust, to revamp…I was changing tactics.

It was time to lay it all out there, to confront her with the truth. Hopefully if I asked her directly, I would get a direct answer, and I cannot express just how much I needed that. I also needed it to be a ‘yes’, and that I needed so badly, well I could barely wait.

And really, why was I being all subtle and timid in the first place? I’m a grown woman, a Slayer for crying out loud. I face the scariest monsters every single night, and I save the world on a regular basis. No wonder it hadn’t been working, I wasn’t going with my strengths. Well no more of that. I had courage, lots of it, and I was going to use it.

I didn’t bother knocking, I just barged right into her darkened room. Clearly she’d been sleeping, well too bad for her. Time to wake up, I was on a mission.

“Alright Faith, just hear me out. I don’t know exactly when it happened, God I’m not even sure how it’s possible that it happened…I mean I think maybe it’s always been like this and I just kind of suppressed it, who knows for sure? What I do know for sure is this:

I am in love with you.”

She didn’t make a sound, in fact I think she even quit breathing.

“I know it’s a shock, I’ve had time to deal and I’m still shocked. And the thing is, I can’t do a casual affair with you. I’m not that kind of person, and I feel way too strongly about you anyway. I don’t know how you feel about it or me…I know there’s a lot between us, but please think it over before you decide. I’ll wait for you in my room so you can figure out how you feel. Take your time.”

Then I left and went back to my room to wait. At first I was feeling pretty good. I’d done it, I’d really told her, and now the ball was in her court. Any minute she was going to be in here, hopefully returning my feelings, and it was going to be the best night of my life.

I thought about changing into something more comfortable, but that didn’t seem right. I wanted to make it clear that this was about a lot more than sex, and to do that we needed to talk things over first. Of course that didn’t mean the night couldn’t end less with the verbal and way more with the physical…But I could wait, I could absolutely wait.

So there I was, again with the slow moving time. I kept looking at my watch that was now sitting on my nightstand. I never wore the stupid thing, but since I’d smashed my clock, it was all I had left. I checked the time every five minutes, even though I told myself I wasn’t going to. I just couldn’t seem to help it, even though I knew it was only making things worse.

Then suddenly, it was 3:00 a. m….An hour had passed…A full sixty minutes had gone by, and I couldn’t believe it. Not only had she not come to tell me that she loved me too, she hadn’t even bothered to see if I was okay.

And why should it take her an hour to make up her mind? It’s not like we just met yesterday…God, this was exactly the kind of thing she always did, the kind of thing that always pissed me off.

She could be so selfish, so wrapped up in her own deal. It was always all about her, what she wanted, how she wanted to handle something…Or more accurately, not handle something.

Yeah sure, I’d told her to take her time, but not one whole hour. I’m in here waiting, dying and she’s what? Agonizing over making a commitment? Trying to pretend I never said anything? Hoping it will all go away so she won’t have to face up to some real emotion?

Well the hell with that. Nobody treats me like that, especially not Faith. I’d just told her that I loved her, that I was in love with her, and I’d told her right out loud, for crying out loud. She was not just going to blow me off, no way.

I’d said some really hard to say things, I’d laid it all right out in the open, and the least she could do was respond. Gee, maybe she could even explain herself for a change. But oh no, not Faith. No way did she want to risk leaving herself open, so she wasn’t even going to try.

But by all means, let’s let Buffy lay herself bare. That’s perfectly fine, in fact why not just juggle with Buffy’s heart and then stomp all over it without even saying a word? That was not acceptable, it was never going to be acceptable, and she was a first-class bitch if she thought she could pull this. No way was she getting away with it.

I stormed back to her room, and I didn’t even let her get a word in edgewise.

“So what, I don’t even deserve a response? God Faith, do you think you could maybe consider ‘my’ feelings for once? I was terrified to tell you how I felt, but I did it anyway. Do you think maybe you could give me something here? Or maybe you could at least act like you care about me as a person?!”

Still nothing, and just like that I was out of control. I was past hurt and angry, I’d never felt anything like it before. I could not believe I’d spilled my guts to her, and she wouldn’t even utter a sound. Didn’t she have any feelings for me at all? Not even as a friend?

I stomped over and turned on her beside lamp, no more hiding for her. If she was going to be a coward, let her do it where I could see her. No more using the darkness as her cover.

Of course when the light came on, I saw I was alone. At first I thought she’d run off right after my first heartfelt speech, but then I realized the bed was still made, so that meant she’d never been there at all. Thankfully no one was around to witness just how stupid I really am. It could have caused more than a little dissension in the ranks.

I was still kind of mad at her, even though I clearly had no reason to be. There’s no real way to just turn it off when you feel so hurt and angry, and it takes a while to wind down. So I sat there and wound down, but as the minutes passed, I still felt what I felt. Obviously it was going to take a bit more time, in fact it seemed like it might take a lifetime.

I kept sitting there, all Zen-like except for the thought of punching her right in the face that kept flashing through my mind. My Slayer mode had been activated, and even though I knew it was totally unfair, I could not stop being pissed.

It was way over on the crazy side, Faith hadn’t even done anything to me. She hadn’t ignored me because she hadn’t heard a word I’d said. Because Faith wasn’t there…and why exactly was that?

It wasn’t that long ago I was doing my best to seduce her, and then what? She just took off to go party? It was kind of insulting when you thought about it, and thinking about it I most definitely was. In fact it quickly became all I could think about, and it explained why I was still so mad.

So what was it? Was I too boring to party with? Not cool enough? Not pretty enough? What was so wrong with me? A lot of people, okay at least a few people, would be thrilled to go out with me. Why wasn’t she?

And just like that, the question I wanted an answer to had changed. Now I wanted to know just what was so bad about me, and I wanted to know right now. She was going to tell me, and she was going to tell me the instant she got home, no matter how long it took her stupid ass to show up.

Time passed, and I finally got under the blankets because the room was sort of chilly. I started calming down a little and okay yes, I felt a little stupid. It’d been that kind of night.

First I’d spent a couple of hours incompetently trying to show her how I felt about her, then I’d topped it all off by bravely confessing my love to an empty room. Not satisfied with that, I then waited an entire hour for her to come and get me when she wasn’t even home. Just brilliant, really. That’s me, Buffy Summers, lover extraordinaire, professional pitcher of the woo. Okay seriously, “woo”…what’s that all about?

Not surprisingly, I ended up falling asleep all nicely snuggled in her bed, surrounded by her scent and dreaming nothing but romantic dreams of her. There was plenty of hot sex too, I’m not a complete idiot.

I have no idea how much longer it was before she came home, but the first thing I heard was her talking softly under her breath. My heart started racing because I thought she’d brought someone home with her, but thank every Higher Power ever, she was just talking to herself. Once my heart attack subsided, I realized that her talking to herself was not a good sign either.

Before I could really figure out what it meant, she started undressing and the talking got louder:

“…plenty to choose from. Ain’t lost a thing, all kinds of seas in the fish. Don’t want a fucking tie down anyways. Way better off like I…Get offa me, fucker!”

I knew I should speak up. The room was pitch black and she had no idea I was in her bed. I had to speak up, but as I heard her swearing at her clothes while she tried to remove them, my mouth suddenly got dry.

Then I felt the bed dip on her side, and well I’m only human, and apparently not a very good one at that.

“Fucked up, is what it is. Fucking clueless. Hanging all over me…Goddamn it, I want you off!”

The ripping noise sounded really loud as she tore her shirt from her body and got back on her feet. She flung it away angrily, knocking something off her dresser.

“Surprise! Right outta the blue…Gotta be on the aware…the awareness…What, the Mayor swingin’ by next? Fuck, just imagine…Imaaagine there’s no heavennnn…”

I guess it could be called singing, but she was more yelling than anything else.

“You fucking imagine it, asshole! Gotta see it every goddamn day!”

I couldn’t really make sense out of what she was saying, but the slur in her voice and the strong smell of alcohol told me she was incredibly drunk. She was trying to take off her boots while standing up, and she sat down heavily on the bed as she lost her balance.

The first one came right off, but the second one wasn’t cooperating with her. She stood up again and somehow got it off as she balanced precariously on one foot.

“Yeah, now what, fucker?!”

The mirror above her dresser shattered as she hurled her boot against it.

“Hey, twenty-four…five...three…How the fuck old am I? Screw it. Dump a shitload of bad luck right the fuck here! Million shitty years, bring’em on!”

She literally fell into bed.

“Big double bed here…room for two! No, that’s not right…supposed to be…tea! Yeah, tea for two, that’s it…Like it fuckin’ matters. Always just me…I don’t even like tea… Not gonna drink it neither! Hey, anybody got a violin?!!! HELLO?! What, nobody gives two shits? Two for shits…No…Shits for two…ha ha ha. Okay, gonna sleep now…Fuck you, ya hear me?!!! FUCK YOU!!!”

Before I could get up, she sprawled over and flung her leg and arm across me. She was almost passed out, and she didn’t even seem surprised to find someone in bed with her.

She just nuzzled right into me and tightened her embrace. She kept murmuring into my neck, and I started shivering because every time she spoke, her lips brushed against my skin.

“Mmm…You smell so good…just right.”

Her tongue ran along my jaw, and I lost all ability to reason or anything else for that matter.

“Don’t go, okay? Just stay with me…So perfect...”

Her head moved, and then she was whispering right into my ear:

“Green…brown…both at once…They got a word for that…”

I was trying to stay still, but I wasn’t going to last much longer. Her breath in my ear, her hand playing with my hair, the sexiness of her voice, like a whispered growl…

“All silky…just pours through my fingers…Perfect little bitch…Just one more minute…please…”

I couldn’t take it anymore. My body was responding, I had to have her. I reached for her, and she was out. Like out cold. Unconscious out. Sleeping the sleep of the dead. The drunken dead.

I laid there trying to figure out what she’d been talking about, who she’d been talking about. Had she been talking about me? Me as in “Buffy” me? Was she actually comparing me to Heaven? Was that really possible? I decided to examine the evidence piece by piece to see if it fit.

I had been hanging all over her. She had seen me every single day. My eyes are both green and brown and they do have a word for it; hazel. I use conditioner all the time to keep my hair soft and smooth, you could call it silky. And I am little, everybody knows I’m little. I can also be a real bitch too, and yes, everyone knows that as well.

It all seemed to fit, and the more I thought about it, the more it made sense. She really was talking about me…Oh…my…God…She’d been talking about me.

I made my escape about an hour later. I admit I didn’t try very hard to get away from her, not when her totally naked body was pressed up tight against my sadly pajamaed one. It wasn’t perfect, but it was absolutely way too good to leave.

I stayed right where I was, except I moved in a little closer to her. Because she was passed out, I knew that any touching I did would fall into the creepy “molestation” category, and I wasn’t that desperate…yet.

I refrained from all of that, well mostly. I did run my hand along her arm, the one flung over me, and occasionally that would cause my hand to brush lightly along the side of her breast. And sometimes my other hand would stroke her hair all the way down to her back, but that’s not so bad.

When you compare it to what I could have done, what I wanted to do, well I think I deserve a medal or something. That’s right, I am a hero and role model for perverts everywhere. Gee, is there a way I could be any more pathetic?

Eventually the sun started threatening to rise, and I knew I had to go. Her waking up and finding me there, so not a good thing. I knew that, but it didn’t mean I didn’t consider letting it happen anyway.

But Faith has issues, issues that would not be helped or resolved by my being there when she woke up. I knew that for sure, so I forced myself to get up and out. Oh yeah, oodles and oodles of self-control for me.

I went back to my room, a little stunned, a little happy, and also a little scared. If what I thought she was talking about was in fact what she was talking about, she wanted me too. This might be it, the real deal, my big chance. It could actually happen if I handled it just right, and oh boy, talk about your pressure cookers.

Still it was all news of the good, news of the very good, no matter how much pressure was involved. For one thing, it meant that the love of my life wasn’t an idiot after all. She knew what I was doing, she just didn’t believe it. She was stupid sure, but she wasn’t as stupid and clueless as she’d seemed. That was a relief of the hugely enormous kind.

But now this had all become trickier and more complicated. Or more tricky and more complicatedy…complicateder…more complex. If I went on the premise that she was talking about me, and in the light of day and away from the warmth of her body, that premise got harder and harder to trust, I had my foot in the door.

A normal person, a well-adjusted person, a potential couple comprised of two sane and normal people, would just sit down and talk all of this out rationally. They’d go over everything, laugh, cry, and then end up making the best love of their lives. It sounded good, it sounded great, and I wished them every happiness because it sure didn’t sound anything like me and Faith.

That whole scenario would never work for us, no matter how much I wished it would. In this couple I was so interested in forming, one of the people was me, and the other one was Faith. I’m sure that’s totally self-explanatory.

In case it’s not, let me put it this way. Problem # 1…No, make that Problems 1-10: Faith. She can put up the biggest walls anybody’s ever seen. It’s almost something to admire, in a really weird and twisted way. I’ve never seen anything like it, before or since I met her.

The Great Wall of China? A rickety backyard fence. The Berlin Wall? Uh…I think they tore that one down finally…Yep, I’m pretty sure they did…But the point I’m trying to make is about Faith’s walls. Big and solid. The kind of walls that could take years, if ever, to climb. Or tear down. Or scale over. Even for a Slayer.

I knew that no matter what I said to her, it wouldn’t matter. If she didn’t believe it, if she didn’t believe that I had feelings for her, nothing I could say would ever change her mind. She’d just throw up a wall and then there’d be no reaching her, especially not with words. Faith is the very definition of “Action Girl”, and I was going to have to deal with that.

Which brought it around quite nicely to Problems 11-100: me. That’s right, me who has a foot just living in her mouth. Me, “Ms. Always Say the Wrong Thing at the Wrong Time Whenever It Comes To Faith”. Wow…I really need to see about getting a nickname.

So even though it was looking good, it was also looking kind of grim with a big old slice of dire tossed in. Okay, but I was pretty sure I knew what we needed. We did not need talking, we did not need handholding, we did not need to frolic through the daisies, and we did not need a long romantic walk on the beach. All of that would be nice somewhere down the road, but first I had to make sure we had a road to go down.

What we needed now was action, action of the drastic kind, action of the courageous kind. There was no other way this was ever going to work out right, and it had to work out right, it absolutely had to. I couldn’t live with it going any other way.

Chapter Five

Luckily I had the most perfect idea ever, at least I thought I did. I ran it past Will just to be sure, and she liked it. She did bring up the whole talking option again, but when I explained why I’d ruled that out, she seemed to understand.

I could tell she wasn’t sure my plan was the very best course of action, but she got it and offered to help me in whatever way she could. She’s my best friend for a reason, and it feels so good to know that again. Life doesn’t seem as hard when she’s by my side, and it’s definitely a lot more fun.

So my brilliant plan? Well it was so simple, and Giles always says that the simplest plans are the best ones. They’re also the easiest to pull off, and that was fine with me. I was fully prepared to be successful, in fact in typical Slayer fashion, I was determined to accept nothing less.

The goal was to get Faith away from the usual routine, away from all of the crap that kept us in the roles we’d assigned to ourselves so long ago. It was going to be just us, Faith and Buffy, relaxing in a romantic locale with nothing to do but be with each other. I wanted the chance to win her over, so I was going to make my own perfect situation.

Getting away from everything and everyone sounded like heaven. I needed the whole no distractions thing, and I needed her to see us differently. Having no one around but us, that was going to set the scene just right…plus I could tie her up if that’s what it took to convince her. Not that I wanted to tie…her up…It’s not like I’m…into that sort…of thing………Huh?

Okay, so after I made my sales pitch to Will, she got right into the spirit of it. She went all “Resolve Face” and told me not to worry, she was going to take care of the whole thing. It was a relief, but I know how things go around here, and sure enough it wasn’t that long before it was time to worry.

“Hi Buff, whatcha doin’?”

“What’s wrong?”

“Wrong? Nothing’s wrong. Why would anything be wrong?”

“Willow, just say it.”

She looked all sad and nervous:

“It’s no big, really.”

“And this not big thing is?”

“…Giles wants to talk to you.”

“Giles? To me? Why?!”

But I knew why. Her expression told me who I was dealing with…Mr. Frugal was on the job, and I was going to have to explain things to him.

Now I was nervous. And for the record? A less generous person would have called him “Mr. Cheapskate”.

“He is in a good mood though, so…”

“Am I supposed to go now?”

“Yep…He said he’d be waiting.”

“Was there any scary music playing when he said that?”

“No, but I think the room did go dark for a second.”

Did I say I was nervous? I lied, I was just plain scared. It’s not easy telling someone you love that you’re gay, and telling your father figure that you’re gay and want to blow the company’s money just to win over your girlfriend…well that’s just priceless.

But he is Giles…My thoughts exactly. I had to wonder why these things always happened to me. Willow just stood silently, looking at me like the stay of execution had fallen through, until she realized she had duties and obligations to fulfill as my best friend.

“Want me to go with?”

“Yes, but I guess I’d better do it by myself.”

“Yeah, I think that’d be best.”

“It’s unanimous then……Okay, no time like the present.”

“Nope, the present is pretty unique.”

The sympathy was still there, but she also looked way happy it wasn’t her who had to go. She did give me the big encouraging smile and a thumbs up gesture, but the smile kind of wavered. It made her look more nauseous than reassuring, or maybe I was just projecting.

It felt like I was stuck to my chair, and for a second I had hope that I was under some kind of spell and would have to sit where I was forever. I could do that if I had…

“Buffy?”

“…I know.”

I stood up and dragged off to meet my fate bravely. I am the Head Slayer after all, just ask Kennedy, but I really had to wonder how this was fair. I mean, when Willow came out it was just to me, and all she had to put up with was me saying her name every single time I said a sentence. Sure I was a little freaked, but just because I’d never ever thought of gayness when it came to her.

Of course I never knew she would meet someone like Tara either. She fell for her and who couldn’t understand that? Tara was so sweet, so kind, so smart, just such a beautiful person in every possible way, what else could Will do?

I’m probably not the best person to try and figure it out anymore, not when I’ve defected to the home team…away team…I can never keep the sports analogies straight. I just know I’m on another team now.

But my complaint is that Will came out to me and I acted like an idiot for a minute, but then it was all good. She never officially came out to anyone else, especially not to Giles. Everybody only found out when we were all fighting like morons, and Giles was totally drunk at the time. Talk about having it easy. Okay, maybe “easy” isn’t really the right word, but still it wasn’t anything like this.

When I got to his office, the door was open. I stayed back and went over my speech in my head, but it was all jumbled up and made less sense the longer I stood there. Not good. I mean, you should be able to follow your own explanations, even if you are terrified.

He was seated at his desk frowning down at some book, but he got to his feet when I walked in.

“Hello Buffy, tea perhaps?”

I wanted to encourage him to have some whiskey, lots and lots of whiskey, but no it was clearly “tea time” and I was screwed.

He put his arm loosely around my shoulders, giving me an affectionate little squeeze as he steered me over to the couch. I felt like I was being led to the gallows, and I didn’t want to go.

“Buffy, tea?”

“What? Oh sure.”

“I’ve also some of those cookies you like.”

“Really?”

“Yes, Andrew found them yesterday at some quaint little shop.”

As a last meal it wasn’t the greatest, but I really did love those cookies.

While he busied himself with preparing the tea, I thought I should maybe get the ball rolling…. “Get the ball rolling”…What exactly does that mean? Of course I know it means to get something started, but why a ball? You could use anything, “Let’s get the stone throwing” or “Let’s get the stake staking”…Okay, maybe those aren’t so great, but I’m sure there are lots of…

“Buffy!”

“What?! Oh sorry, Giles.”

“Is something wrong?”

“No, everything’s good.”

He handed me my tea and stared at me like I had some big gay secret.

“You seem a tad preoccupied.”

“Me? No, I’m just regular occupied…So how’s it going?”

“The research? Not well, I’m afraid. I’ve read the blasted text twenty times, and I’ve still yet to find anything that could be considered truly useful.”

“Don’t worry, you’ll figure it out. You are Giles, you know.”

“Yes well, at least it’s an easy read. Marlak is not all that difficult, and the author is considered the Shakespeare of his kind.”

He offered me some cookies and I took four. They’re small.

“And that’s a good thing?”

“Buffy, surely you’ve learnt to appreciate Shakespeare by now?”

“Well, I used to be able to sometimes appreciate his Cliff Notes.”

“While I understand that the somewhat archaic language can be a tad daunting, surely a young woman as bright as yourself…”

“Maybe I should start with the Marlak first.

“You are much more intelligent than you give yourself credit for.”

“And that’s why I’m not reading Shakespeare, I’m too smart for him.”

He finished making his own tea, and like always it was a major production.

“Yes well, everyone should experience the pleasures The Bard has to…”

“Now you’re recommending someone else? Giles, I so don’t have time to read everybody who’s ever written…”

“Joke all you like, but we both know if you put your mind to it, you could breeze through his completed works with no trouble whatsoever.”

I snagged three more cookies and sat back.

“I did breeze through them, at least I think I did. It’s hard to say since I might have been sleeping at the time.”

Giles took a sip of his tea looking all irritated, but he wasn’t. I knew him well enough to know that he was amused, he thinks I’m cute and funny…most of the time.

“So, Willow has informed me of your desire.”

I sloshed my tea into my saucer, just managing to prevent it from spilling over onto the carpet. Yea me. Unfortunately the blouse I was wearing didn’t share the carpet’s good fortune. Dawnie was not going to be pleased.

“…She did?”

“Of course. I believe it’s necessary for me to know.”

“So you know?”

“Buffy, I do sign the checks after all.”

He meant my desire to go away, not my desire to do things to Faith that would…

“Buffy?”

“Yes you do sign the checks, you absolutely do sign the checks.”

“Are you quite all right?”

“I’m fine.”

“Yes, so I see. This sudden desire to go on holidays, I’m not certain I fully understand. Is it Faith’s idea?”

“No, she doesn’t know about it yet.”

“She doesn’t? Well Buffy as lovely as the idea may be, I doubt very much that she would wish to go. She’s at a crucial stage in het training of the newest Slayers and…”

“That’s why we need to tell her this is a very important mission.”

He was completely puzzled, but he was trying to stay with me. He offered me another cookie, and when I declined, he looked even more confused.

“Am I understanding this correctly? You want me to lie to Faith, telling her she is departing on a vital mission with you, when in fact you are merely taking some time off?”

“Right.”

“And the reason for this deception?”

“It’s the only way I can be positive that she’ll go.”

“Buffy, while I am somewhat admiring of your rather circular reasoning, I must tell you that your motives are still not at all clear.”

“I want Faith to come away with me.”

“Yes, I’ve gathered as much. And I agree that telling her she is needed will be most effective in securing her cooperation. My confusion lies in my failure to see just why it’s so urgent that the two of you go anywhere. Perhaps you would care to explain that to me?”

“…”

“Buffy, what’s this all about?”

I sat there all nervous, but then I summoned up the courage to look at him. He was just sitting there waiting patiently for an answer, and as I studied his face that was so dear to me, I knew I could tell him. He was Giles, he would understand.

Maybe he wouldn’t like the idea of Faith and I together, but it wouldn’t be because of the gay thing. Giles doesn’t think like that. If he had any objection it would be because of who we were, Ms. Oil and Ms. Water. Combine us together and somehow we become fireworks, dangerous and potentially deadly fireworks.

He might worry that I was going to get hurt, but I knew that he wanted nothing more than for me to be happy. He has my best interests at heart, he always has, even when he was under the influence of The Hellmouth. And then of course, my thoughts went drifting off to Spike.

Giles plotting with Principal Wood to kill Spike, I thought I would never be able to get over that. Out of everything that happened, that was the thing that hurt me the very most. I couldn’t believe it when I found out, and I have never felt so betrayed, not even when I had to leave my own house.

That was like a gang mentality, but Giles trying to have Spike killed? That was one on one, and it shook me right to my soul. I just couldn’t understand it, and I couldn’t accept it. Giles had done it, my Giles, and after that, nothing ever made sense to me again.

We talked about it a lot, we had to. They say to get over something, you have to go through it, so we went full steam ahead. It was hard and it wasn’t very pleasant, but we had to do it if we were going to make it.

Giles believes The Hellmouth was exerting some major influence over him and everyone else. His theory makes total sense, and I think it’s true. When I look back on it calmly, it’s clear to me that we were all like different people. We were acting crazy, and it was like the worst in all of us just came out and took over.

Of course I’m leaving out one crucial detail in Giles’ theory…The Hellmouth didn’t really affect supernatural beings, not like that anyway. That means vampires were immune to its influence, and so were Slayers.

Great, that means I have no excuse for being such a jerk. I was just Buffy all day, every day, and I wasn’t exactly the poster child for how to handle yourself in a crisis. Sure I was reacting to everyone else’s craziness, but I had plenty of my own going on too.

But hey, we’re not dwelling on that part of it. Let’s just say we were all kind of possessed by something, and real and personal demons can pretty much cause the same end result. The important thing is that we made it past all of that to get to where we should be, and no one cares about the past anymore. In the end, it was just another fun time for the good guys. I’m positive there will be plenty more before it’s over.

So as I sat there looking at the patient and slightly puzzled face of the man who had become my father, I knew I could tell him. He was Giles, my Watcher, my friend, my rock, and he loved me. He always has and he always will.

“Giles, I have something I need to tell you.”

“I’ve rather deduced that fact already.”

“It’s big.”

“I see...One moment please, while I attempt to brace myself.”

I laughed because he was being funny in a “Giles” kind of way. His face was completely serious, but his eyes were amused and kind of twinkly.

“Giles…”

“Right, sorry. I’m listening.”

“Okay, no one else knows about this except Will…I think she knew before I did… Anyway, I don’t want anyone else knowing, not right now.”

“I shan’t say a word to anyone.”

“I know that. Alright, here goes…Giles…I love Faith.”

“As do we all. She is quite extraordinary, and I am still amazed at how she has managed to turn herself around. It’s nothing short of…”

“Yes, but no. I mean, I’m ‘in’ love with her.”

“You’re…Oh…Oh!”

Off went his glasses as his handkerchief came out, and in a matter of seconds he was cleaning like there was no tomorrow.

“Giles?”

“Yes?”

“I was hoping you’d have something to say?”

“To say? Yes, of course I do…have something to say.”

He stood up, looked around, then quickly sat back down as if he didn’t know why he’d gotten up in the first place.

“And will you being saying it any time soon?”

“What? Oh, I’m sorry, Buffy. I’m afraid I’m not handling this very well, am I?”

“Well it is kind of a shock, so I think you’re doing okay.”

“That’s just it though, it’s really not that shocking.”

“It’s not?”

“No.”

“ ‘Cause it sure seems like you’re a little shocked.”

“Oh, I am.”

My head was spinning.

“Okay…Hey, will you be making even a little sense any time soon?”

“It’s just…Well I’ve always thought I detected some, shall we say ‘tension’ between the two of you? It was there right from the start, and I guess I’m not all that surprised to learn that you do indeed, have feelings for her.”

“So what’s with the shockiness if you’re not shocked?”

“Well it’s still a surprise, especially that you’re acknowledging it. I wasn’t at all sure you ever would.”

“Oh…Me either.”

He put his glasses back on and took my hand in his:

“Buffy, you are without a doubt the best Slayer in recorded history. Everything you’ve ever done, you’ve done whilst following your heart. It’s always turned out to be exactly the right thing, that’s been proven time and time again. If your heart is telling you Faith is the one you need, you must follow its lead.”

“That’s definitely what it’s saying alright, loud and clear.”

“Then you must go after her. You have my complete support, as well as my love and respect…And all things considered, I infinitely prefer Faith to Kennedy so that’s something, yes?”

“Giles!”

“What Willow sees in her, I shall never fully comprehend. But she does seem to make her happy, so who are we to judge? At least out loud.”

He reached for his tea, and this time when he offered me a cookie, I took it, two of them.

“But Faith? Well Faith is wonderful, a simply marvelous young woman. I’ve grown quite fond of her, and I think the two of you would be perfect together. Now, what is it that you need me to do?”

And just like that, it was all taken care of. Giles let me pick the place, and I never even saw him flinch when he learned just how much it was going to cost. He also did his part on the acting front, laying it on thick for Faith’s benefit.

At first she put up a bit of a fight, listing out all of the things she was right in the middle of, and I didn’t say a word as I sat next to her. This was Giles’ mission to carry out, and I had to trust that he was up to the challenge. Of course, he was.

“Faith, while I understand your concerns, I truly believe this assignment requires both Buffy and yourself if we’re to make a success of it. I would not ask if I didn’t believe it to be absolutely imperative.”

He was good, and she hopped right on board without another word of protest.

So I had her, right where I wanted her. We left the next day, and the first night we were in paradise? We added two kids and their parents to all my perfectly planned aloneness. How’s that for a big fun surprise?

But that’s all fixed now, we’re back to just a potentially happy couple. It’s just me and her, no more interruptions or distractions or waiting. All that’s left is for me to make her mine, and I am positive I can make that happen in a very timely fashion.

I was after it all, the whole thing, the “until death do us part” part. I knew I could never be happy with anything else from her, I knew I could never settle, not when it came to Faith. It had to be the big commitment or it was nothing, and nothing was not an option for me. Nope, not even considering “nothing”.

Not many people would have the nerve to demand monogamy from Faith, as far as I know, no one ever has. Of course I don’t know that much about her relationship history, and I don’t want to. Although it would be nice to know if she’s ever been with another woman.

If I had to bet, I’d bet that she has. The girl attracts would-be partners like a Hellmouth attracts demons, and I don’t delude myself for an instant that she hasn’t taken plenty of them up on their offer. Throw in her reaction whenever women do hit on her, well I think it’s fairly obvious she knows her way around.

She’s talked to me about some of the guys she’s been with, but she’s never once mentioned any girls. I think that’s because she thinks I’m straight, didn’t we all, and she doesn’t want to freak me out. She can be sweet like that.

Anyway, what I’m getting at is that not too many people would ever think to ask her to be a one person woman, they wouldn’t even suspect she was capable of it. I believed she was, and the more I thought about it, the more convinced I became that she was already giving it to me. She’d been doing it…or not doing it, for a very long time now.

Willow’s comments had started me thinking, and I was now noticing a lot of stuff that had been right in front of my face forever. For example, I seriously could not remember the last time she’d brought someone home. She never bragged about her conquests anymore, never said she was heading out to get her itch scratched.

She almost never went out without someone from our group, and she never accepted any of the five million invitations she received whenever we went to a club. She just turned them all down, usually politely, well what passed for “politely” when it came to Faith.

A few people got shoved, maybe a few of the more insistent ones got punched, but over all it was pretty gentle and calm. She would just smile and thank them, then decline. It was all very normal and civilized…and nothing like the Faith of old.

She was a different person now in some ways. The wildness, the sexiness, the quick temper, the danger, all of it was still alive and well. It was just that now it was all tempered by a maturity and a sense of responsibility.

Faith always seemed to be there whenever any of us needed her, whether it was a helping hand or just a shoulder to cry on. She was rock solid when it came to slaying or Council business, and all of us valued her opinion. She had grown up, and she had grown up well.

But there was always something else I could never identify, until now. It was a sadness that hovered all around her, a sadness that never really left her no matter what she was doing. It was just a part of her, and although she hid it very well, I saw it now every single time I looked at her.

I’d thought I was at my dumbest when I confessed my love to an empty room, but when compared to this? Well I was a regular Einstein back then. I’ve heard people talk about gaydar, but I don’t seem to have that. It seems what I do have now is “Faithdar”.

It’s like the second I opened myself up to my own feelings, I could suddenly see hers. She wants me, she’s always wanted me. She thinks she can never have me, but it doesn’t change a thing for her. She still wants me.

It’s all a mind blower, it really is, but things change and I can change with them. So I’ve always been exclusively about the boys? Now I’m exclusively about all things Faith. Different for sure, but I’m just fine with the change. In fact, I think it’d be accurate to say I’m crazy fine with it.

I’m not a hundred percent sure that she loves me like I love her, but I am sure that she wants me, and I’m pretty sure she loves me. It all adds up to something pretty add up worthy, and it all fits. It fits just perfectly.

I can’t really do anything except go after her. I want her, I need her, and I have to trust what my instincts are telling me. It’s not like love just comes into your life all the time, especially not love like this.

I’ve been in love before, twice, and I’ve had sex with six men. Not exactly a number that shouts out “loose girl’, but somehow the men I’ve slept with make me seem a little more adventurous than I really am. Besides, it’s not the quantity, it’s the quality…and I’ve had some quality.

My first was Angel. My first everything. My first love, my first sex, my first heartbreak, my first experience with the truth that my Slayer duty has to come before everything else. Not a reality anyone would want to face, but one I learned to accept a long time ago.

Angel taught me so many things, but most of all he taught me what it means to be in love. To feel that burning, that desire that runs through everything you do, everything you are. He was my teacher, my lover, my friend, and for a long time he was my heart. He gave me so much, and I carry it all with me. I always will.

No girl could ask for a better first time. He was a big strong handsome man who knew what he was doing, and he was so gentle and loving. Even though first times are supposed to be painful and awkward, mine was anything but. It was wonderful, filled with everything I’d ever dreamed of and more.

Of course the whole losing his soul thing, that was more than I’d ever dreamed of too. It definitely wasn’t the ending any girl wants, and I thought it was the worst thing that could ever happen between us. I guess he also taught me that there’s always the chance of something worse waiting for you somewhere down the line.

I had to send him to Hell, and when I ran that sword through him, I knew then that there were things in this world no one should ever have to do. I guess no one else really does except the Slayer, and it was just my bad luck that I was her. And blah, blah, blah with a huge helping of heartbreak and despair.

It still didn’t stop the love we felt, and I thought back then that we were soul mates. Maybe we were. All I know for sure is that the three times I had with him that night…Hey, put a virgin Slayer together with a celibate vampire, mix in all that love and supernatural stamina, well no way was once going to be enough.

Then came Parker…yes “he” did. Catty I know, but what else can I be? He was okay, not the most generous of lovers, but I didn’t know anything back then. I could only compare him to Angel, and at that time anybody would have come up short. And boy did Parker ever come up short, in every possible way. Ooh, Buffy’s riding the “Catty Train”.

Next up was Riley, and I have nothing but good thoughts when it comes to him.

Sure it ended badly, we never should have been together. All I wanted was a nice “average” guy, and I mistakenly thought that was him.

Turns out he was anything but, and realistically that should have been even better for me. But it wasn’t, not in any way. Then when he truly became what I thought I’d wanted all along, he couldn’t hold my interest. The poor man just couldn’t win.

I don’t think I can be with a regular human being, I need more than that for some reason. Well I guess it’s not really that big of a mystery, it’s not like I’m a regular human being either. I know now that I need something else, something more, something different.

It wasn’t Riley’s fault, he loved me, I know he did. I wanted to love him back, but I just couldn’t. I tried, I tried so hard, but you can’t make yourself feel what you don’t. It doesn’t matter how much you want to, how hard you try. It just doesn’t work that way.

He was a good lover, my very first to not go all evil after we’d done the deed. That was a huge positive right there, and if he’d asked me on the morning after, I probably would have agreed to marry him on the spot. Never underestimate the gratitude of a relieved woman.

He was attentive, loving, gentle, and all mine. He’d have sex whenever I wanted to, or he’d be satisfied with just cuddling if that was all I was interested in. He’d do whatever I asked him to do, whenever I asked him to do it, and what girl could complain about that?

Turns out I could. He wasn’t exactly boring, just less than what I needed. There was no darkness in him, no wildness, not even a tiny part of him that scared me just a little bit. There was nothing about him that seemed strong enough for me to lean on, and I could never really let go with him.

He didn’t challenge me, he didn’t stimulate me, and he sure as hell never made me feel like we were on equal footing. He knew it before I did, and he tried his best to be what I needed, what I wanted, but it just didn’t fit him. All it did was annoy and then disgust me, and it almost destroyed him in the bargain.

We never should have been together. I didn’t really want “Joe Normal” and he really couldn’t handle “Super Girl”. Maybe if we’d met as just “Buffy and Riley”, we could have been raising a family by now. But that’s not who were, it’s not who I’m ever going to be, and it stopped us from having a real chance at making a go of it.

Still, I wish him nothing but happiness. We exchange Christmas cards every year to stay in touch, and he has a little daughter now. She looks just like him, completely sweet and adorable.

It’s great that it all worked out for him. He’s a good man, kind, thoughtful, reliable, and a wonderful husband and father. He deserves all the good things he can find, and I don’t regret one moment I spent with him.

And now it’s time for the, “The Slayer Goes Wild” part of the story. Spike…what else is there to say? How to explain a man who was what he was, nothing less and everything more?

He was the best lover I have ever had, no one else even comes close. He was tender and rough, good and bad, kind and mean. He turned me on, and even though I tried like hell, I could never turn off. He opened up a part of me I never imagined I had, and he fit inside it perfectly.

He was an evil monster, but he was also a good man fighting to gain control of himself. For a long time he swung back and forth between the two, and it was beyond confusing for us both. As hard as I tried, I just couldn’t resist him, and I could not stop wanting him either. Which him? I never could decide.

It doesn’t make any sense, but somehow he managed to hang onto some scrap of his humanity, and when the right trigger came along, it was like a switch had been thrown. He began fighting his demon, and he fought it every step of the way until finally he beat it.

He became a man again, a man who had so much love and goodness inside of him that it burst out in a blaze of glory that saved the world. He was amazing, the most amazing person I have ever known…And oh my God, he was so sexy.

I could leave it there, could get by with saying that we loved each other, but that’s cheating. The real truth of it is, I screwed Spike in any and every way possible. Literally, figuratively, you name it, I did it.

I did things to him I didn’t even know I was capable of, and he did them right back. I didn’t care that he was evil, he had what I wanted. I craved him and the way he made me feel, and I just couldn’t deny myself, not back then.

I was lost, and he took advantage of me. He loved me, and I took advantage of him. It was ugly, nasty, and mean, and I have never felt anything quite as hot. As a lover, he was different every time. Always creative, inspired, and so perverted in all the right ways.

All I wanted was to feel something, anything, and I can honestly say there was never a time when I was with him, that I didn’t feel everything. Every touch, every burst of pleasure, every twinge of pain, I felt it all right down to my soul. I felt him like no one I’ve ever known.

And no matter how desperately I tried to pretend I didn’t, I could always feel the love he had for me. It was just there, threading its way through his every touch, his every deed, and I saw it whenever I let my eyes meet his. He loved me, probably more than anyone else ever has.

The problem was that his demon kept trying its best to take him back. It never let me forget that he was a soulless and evil murderer…and yet still I wanted him. I’d fallen for him, all of him and I could not understand how that was possible. I was ashamed that I wanted him so much, that I couldn’t control how I felt, so I spent a lot of time trying to deny what was true between us.

At first it seemed as if the rape attempt would make it easy for me to get rid of him. Sure we’d always played rough together, forcing each other to do all kinds of things, but this time he’d really crossed the line. Yet deep down, I knew it wasn’t William who had done it, it wasn’t Spike either. It was his demon, the thing that was trying to destroy him, and I couldn’t pretend I didn’t know that.

He couldn’t either, and so he ran off to get his soul restored. He wanted to become a better man for me, the kind of man who could never do such a horrible thing. He beat his demon because he loved me, and even now I wonder how anyone could ever be that strong…It just doesn’t seem possible.

It almost drove him insane, and with The First right there to egg him on, well it sure didn’t look good. But Spike was way too stubborn to ever back down, he could never be broken or controlled for very long. He hung on, and The First never stood a chance.

He was a hero, my hero, and I loved him. There’s nothing to be done about it now, but I know he went to his death again still assuming I didn’t. He was wrong, as he so often was. I loved him deeply, madly, and in every possible way. I always will.

That leads right to The Immortal. We just “randomly” ran into each other, and they don’t make them like that anymore. Or maybe they do, how would I know? He put me under some kind of spell…I think…possibly. Okay, at least I hope he did.

I’m not really too clear about it, it all seems fuzzy and not quite real. What I am clear on is that he turned out to be evil, I figured it out, and now he’s best referred to as “The Mortal”. He’s also dead, and I guess immortality’s not all it’s cracked up to be.

There’s probably a lesson in there somewhere, something about never screwing around with a Slayer. Eventually she’ll catch on, and when she does? One of you is not long for this world, no matter how damn rich and handsome you are.

My final partner was an Italian man. I don’t have the first idea what his name was or even what he looked like beyond the vaguest impression. It was twelve days after I got the news about Angel and Spike, I was drunk, he hit on me, and I ended up…I’d say I fucked him, but I don’t talk like that. It was huge mistake of course, one of my biggest ever, and it didn’t make anything any better. It just made me miss them more.

So that’s it. A college slimeball, a boy from Iowa who tried to be what I wanted, an immortal seducer, a drunken mistake, and two vampires, souled and soulless. Not the longest of lists, and not all relationships to be proud of.

They did all have something in common though…they were all men. No doubt about it, through and through they were manly men who did manly things with all manly parts and manly ideas…well except for Parker. Meow.

I was all about the men, I’ve always been all about the men, but now I want to add someone new to the roster. Aside from the obvious difference, there are plenty of similarities, so many it’s almost funny. I guess you could say I fall for the same type over and over.

She’s tried to kill me before…check. Been there, done that. She’s been evil, haven’t they all? She’s got supernatural strength, one of the big requirements when it comes to me. She’s scary, dangerous, passionate, dark, and wild. Yep, bells are definitely ringing.

She’s tortured by her past, still on a quest to redeem herself. Heck, give her half a chance and I bet she’d even help the helpless. She’s someone I met through my work, and she’s so sexy it just oozes out of her. I see the pattern, I think even a blind person could spot it.

And her looks? She is incredibly beautiful. I’d say she’s actually indescribably beautiful. Sure I’m a pretty girl too, I’m being honest now, not modest. I’ve been pretty all of my life, and I know it.

Guys have been after me since I was old enough to attract them, and that’s just a fact. I can be really good looking sometimes, especially in the right light, as long as the stress doesn’t make me too skinny and the weird tip of my nose doesn’t…

I’m just saying I’m considered attractive. I still get hit on all the time, Justin being just the latest, and my understanding is that I’m kind of hot. I’m a perky L.A. cheerleader type, and a lot of men seem to be into that.

But Faith? Uh, Faith makes me look like everybody else. I go from hot and pretty to “nothing to see here folks” in a split second. If I tried to compete, I’d just get shoved aside so the world could get an unobstructed view of the sexiest woman on the planet.

Do I blame them? Not a bit. I could look at Faith all day long and never get tired of the view. She’s like a work of art, and the longer you stare at her, the more gorgeous she is. It’s like her beauty is revealed layer by layer, and apparently there’s no bottom in sight.

I’ve seen her in all kinds of situations, two days without a shower, sleeping so soundly she’s drooling with actual drool, covered in blood and guts, even insane and homicidal. Never does she look anything but stunning. How stunning? Well, she did turn me gay.

But as amazingly beautiful as she is, I’ve fallen in love with her for way more than that. Her looks were always there, but what hooked me is just her. Her mind, her heart, her soul.

I love the way she thinks, the way she talks, the smoky sound of her voice, the throaty laugh she lets loose with. I love her courage, her loyalty, and the kindness she still always tries to hide. I love how gentle she can be, and I love how brutal and rough she is.

She’s Angel and Spike all rolled into one, and she makes me just as crazy as they did combined. I can’t get enough of her, and I’m pretty sure one lifetime together isn’t going to satisfy my desire. I don’t think anything can.

I love her bad temper, even when it’s directed at me, and I love when she gets all scary. I love when she teases me, the way it makes her eyes sparkle and her dimples stay all dimpled. I love when she just goes off, ranting about “whatever” with so much passion, it makes me want her more than I can stand.

When we patrol or just hang out together, I love when she flirts and talks dirty, making me blush for a whole bunch of reasons. I love what she wears, how her clothes cling and flow around her. I love watching her slay, seeing the wildness still there even though she does her best to keep it in check.

I love the way she walks, her body in perfect harmony with her surroundings and herself. I love what her voice does to me every single time I hear it, the feeling of heat as the chills roll down my spine. Nothing has ever felt like that, nothing.

She’s it, I know that now. I think she probably always was, but I couldn’t see things clearly before. Angel came back shortly after she first appeared on the scene, and I was understandably all wrapped up in him.

Still she had me all hot and bothered right from the start, “What is it, the ‘Angel’ thing?” Said so casually, so dismissively, I wanted to kill her where she stood. And yet there was this other feeling too, the feeling that I had met my match on every level.

I was way too young and inexperienced to understand what it meant. I was so depressed about Angel, I couldn’t feel anything…until she came around. She made my mind and body feel lighter, and I felt alive whenever she was near. She made me feel like myself for the first time, and that scared me.

Well I’m not young anymore, and I sure as hell am not inexperienced either. I know what’s what now, and what’s what is Faith. I believe every single step I’ve taken has led me right to her, right where I’m supposed to be. As girly as that is, I believe it’s true.

I love her, and I’ve got no problem admitting that. It’s a little weird I suppose because of the whole straight thing before, but it’s no different than the rest of my life. When I compare it to everything else that’s gone on…

I’m The Slayer. I’ve died twice, and I’ve saved the world too many times to count. My sister’s a key, my best friend’s a witch, the previous loves of my life were vampires, and my former town collapsed on top of a Hellmouth. Becoming gay all of the sudden? Not even a blip on my radar…gaydar…Faithdar.

I’m old enough and I’ve seen enough to know that you have to take what you’re given. Well I’ve been given Faith, and there’s no one on the planet that can prevent me from taking her. I’ve finally woken up, and no way am I ever going back to sleep.

I want some happiness. I want to be a normal woman in love with the person who’s just right for me. But most of all? I want Faith, every square inch of her, inside and out.

It’s all right here, right in front of my face, and I am not turning away from it again. She’s it, she’s the one. There’s no doubt about it. She’s what I want, she’s what I need, and I’ve got six days and nights to make her see that too.

Destiny, fate, anybody can call it whatever they want to. Me? I’m calling it lucky. I’ve had chance after chance with her, and we’ve screwed it up each and every time. But she’s still here, still waiting to be claimed as mine, and I’m all done fooling around.

I mean business now, and I am going to get what I want. I won’t accept anything else, I can’t accept anything else. Before we leave here, Faith…whatever the hell her last name is, is going to be my girl. Call it Official Slayer Business.

Chapter Six

Faith woke up from her nap to find me nestled right against her. My hand was just below her breast and one of my legs was thrown across hers. My head was resting very comfortably on her shoulder, and I made sure my breathing stayed even. I also made sure it blew right against the exposed skin of her neck.

I’d been patiently waiting for her to wake up, and I wasn’t disappointed by her reaction. Her whole body tensed and she went completely still. After a few long moments, she began taking deep breaths as she tried to calm herself.

I wanted to tell her to be careful about hyperventilating, but I couldn’t very well pretend to be asleep while I offered health warnings. All I could do was hope she was better at it than I was, and continue on with my duties. I’ve always known how to prioritize.

She started to ease off the bed, swinging one leg over slowly. Big mistake on her part. The instant her legs parted, mine fell down between, right against her… womanhood. She went totally still again, except for the deep breathing which got all shaky and not so deep.

After a couple of minutes, I took pity on her and “woke” up. My brand of pity isn’t very merciful though, and as I stretched awake, my hand went to her breast and my knee rose up against her. Then I yawned and let it turn into a moan as my knee began moving while I snuggled in even closer.

Faith was all done with the subtle escape. She bolted out of the bed, almost knocking me to the floor in the process. I decided to be a little dramatic:

“…Huh? What’s going on?”

“Hey B, sleep good?”

Her voice was completely normal and she looked just like she always did, but I saw a slight tremor as she ran her hand through her hair.

“Mmmm, it was heaven.”

I turned “heaven” into the longest word in word history, and this time when I stretched, I made sure my breasts kind of thrust up at her. Her eyes were riveted for a couple of precious seconds, but then she was off to the bathroom.

“Gonna grab a shower.”

“Okay. Let me know if you need your back washed.”

She stopped walking, but she didn’t turn around.

“Thanks for the offer, but it wouldn’t be my back.”

“Whatever you need, F”

Now she turned to look at me, her standard cocky grin on her face.

“Got lotsa needs. Gonna satisfy’em all?”

I flushed then, and not from embarrassment, but Faith took it that way:

“Hey Blondie, don’t play with the big girls if ya can’t handle it.”

“Save me some hot water.”

She was laughing as she shut the bathroom door, all relieved that things were back to normal. I heard her singing as the water came on, and I kept thinking of the look on her face if I sauntered in to join her.

But I couldn’t do that, I was on a mission here and I had to stay on target. But just to see her face as I stepped into the shower, well it was almost too good to resist. I did though, I’m not that weak. Not about this, not when I have to stay with it to be sure I win her.

It wasn’t that long before Faith came strolling out of the bathroom wrapped up in a towel, the water from her hair running down her back.

“There ya go.”

“There’s still hot water?”

“Not my old motel, B. Fuck, that dump was lucky to have any water at all…Nice to know it got what was coming to it.”

“Yes, that’s why we destroyed Sunnydale.”

“Good as any other reason. So we going out or patrolling?”

There was a tiny flash of thigh as she bent over her bag.

“Uh…Let’s go out.”

“Works for me. I’ll get dressed and go find out where the hot spots are.”

“Okay.”

I made my way to the bathroom, my mind focused on my plan.

“And B?”

Her voice was all soft and sexy.

“Uh-huh?”

“Don’t fucking take forever. Miss America contest was a month ago.”

“It was? How come no one notified me?”

“You’re a California blonde. Figured you just knew.”

“I used to know…God, I am so depressed now.”

“Seriously B, shake a leg okay? I’m starvin’.”

“Fifteen minutes.”

She laughed at that so loudly I should have gotten mad. I didn’t, she was way too cute.

“I’ll give ya thirty. Find me at the bar.”

So I went to take my shower, and she went to find out where we should go. It was only forty-five minutes later when I spotted her. She was sitting at the bar drinking a beer, and as I stood there watching, a man went up to her.

She barely glanced at him, and he walked away a second later looking dejected. It made me feel all happy inside seeing her turn him down and…No, I am not seeing what I think I’m seeing.

The bartender, a beautiful young woman, did not just pat Faith’s hand, and Faith did not just smile back at her. And no, the beautiful young bartender does not have her cheek against Faith’s cheek as she whispers into her ear, and Faith is not laughing while she does it.

I walked up behind Faith, wrapping my arms around her shoulders, clipping the beautiful young bartender in the head, and moving her back and off.

“Hi, baby.”

Faith didn’t seem nervous, she just took a swig of her beer and smiled some more.

“Hey B, ‘bout time.”

“Miss me?”

“Of course. Hey, this is…Sorry, I’m shit with names.”

She was still rubbing her cheekbone:

“Danielle. My friends call me ‘Dani’.”

Well I called her “Bitch”, what did that make me?

“Do they? How nice.”

Bitch was giving me the evil eye, but Faith seemed oblivious to the tension:

“B, Dani’s brother’s the bouncer at this cool club. Place is always packed, but she’s gonna get us in.”

“Really? How nice.”

“I think I can get you both in. I didn’t know Faith had a girlfriend.”

Well she does, even if she doesn’t know it yet…Bitch.

“What?! Oh shit no, me and B are just friends.”

“Yes...very… good…friends.”

Each word uttered like the dagger I wanted to ram through Bitch’s heart.

We were understanding each other, even if Faith wasn’t, because she clearly wanted to kill me as well.

“Uh…guys? What’s with the big stare down?”

Bitch took the scaredy cat way out.

“I’ve got to get back to work. I’ll tell Steven to look for you around 10:00?”

“Sounds right. Thanks.”

“My pleasure, Faith.”

I wanted to haul her right over the bar and show her how I got my pleasure, but she was already walking off. I let go of Faith, and sat on the stool next to her.

“Geez B, trying to fuck up our chances? What was that all about?”

“I didn’t like her.”

“Yeah, think I picked up on that.”

I was still staring at Bitch, just begging her to turn into a demon and start killing babies.

“…So where’s this place ‘Dani’ recommends?”

“On the beach. Got this neat outdoor area for dancing, and the music’s live with this kick ass band.”

“Sounds okay.”

“Figured we’d eat and maybe patrol a little after, wanna?”

“I’m in.”

She drained her beer and stood up, grabbing a handful of peanuts on the way.

“Let’s go. Sick of eatin’ this shit, want some real chow.”

“They say those bowls are all dirty and disgusting to eat out of.”

Faith tossed a couple of twenties down onto the bar, and from the other end, Bitch gave her a big smile.

“She gave me a fresh bowl, so no hepatitis for me.”

We walked out, and Faith started whistling like she didn’t have a care in the world.

“She seemed to like you.”

“Dani? Course she did. Turned on the charm so I could get us in.”

“Is she going to be there?”

“Nah, she’s gotta work.”

I felt like jumping for joy, but I just kept walking, not saying a word.

“Kinda relieved, ya know?”

“You are?”

“Yeah, didn’t want some chick hangin’ around us all night.”

“Me either.”

“She’s really hot though, think that’s why she didn’t like you.”

We were right outside the restaurant. We’d eaten here twice before with The Dawsons, and we’d both loved it. The food was great and there was lots of it, an important factor when it came to Faith.

“What do you mean?”

Faith looked at me like I was an idiot, then held the door open:

“Well there she is, all pretty and shit, then here you come looking like you do. Shoves her right into second place, and girls like her don’t go for that.”

I didn’t walk into the restaurant, I floated all the way.

We ate like we eat, and it was perfect. We got different things and kept sampling off of each other’s plates, just like couples do. That it was Faith’s idea made it even better, and I couldn’t imagine enjoying a meal more. Well, except for one that involved a naked Faith and a shortage of plates, bowls, and silverware.

Our waiter was a guy we’d had before, and he remembered us:

“So where are your friends?”

“Vacation was over, so they headed home.”

“That’s a shame. They were nice people.”

“Yeah, we kinda miss’em, ‘specially the kids.”

“I’ll tell you what, to cheer you lovely ladies up, dessert is on the house.”

“Yeah?!”

Faith was beaming like she’d just won the lottery, and I was wondering if she could be any cuter when yep, cuteness increased just like that.

“Gee, I don’t know what to get.”

“I’ll give you and your girlfriend a few minutes to look over the menu.”

Then he was gone, and Faith’s face was the reddest I’d ever seen it. She was studying the menu like she was trying to memorize it, and she clearly wasn’t going to mention what he’d just said. I clearly was.

“I wonder why he thinks we’re girlfriends.”

“Who knows? Hey look, they got six kinds of cheesecake.”

“Do we give off some kind of vibe? I mean, Dani thought so too.”

“Probably the Slayer thing. B, wanna concentrate on the dessert?”

She took a casual sip of her water, but my next sentence had her choking and gasping for air:

“I wonder what it would be like to be with a woman.”

It took her a minute, but she recovered nicely. She got this sexy and playful look on her face, and her eyebrows wiggled suggestively:

“Wanna go a round, B?”

Why yes Faith, I want to go a million rounds, but not until I’m sure you can’t turn it into a one time only thing.

“Hmm, wouldn’t you like to know?”

She stared at me, then went back to the menu:

“You get the Snickers cheesecake, I’ll snag the chocolate cake.”

And that was the end, for now, of that topic.

We finished our desserts and headed out into the night more than ready to defend the innocent, but there just weren’t any bad guys around. I wasn’t too surprised about that, after all, I’d picked this place because there wasn’t much of a demon population to start with. Couple that with the way Faith and I had wiped out seven vamps saving The Dawsons, well it didn’t seem likely we’d be seeing any others if they could help it.

“Damn, word musta got out there’s two Slayers in town.”

“Mmm hmm.”

“Think we’re just wasting our time here. Wanna go check out the club?”

“Dani said around 10:00.”

“Oh shit, that’s right. Now what the fuck do we do? Got like two hours to kill.”

“Well, the moon’s out. Wanna go walk on the beach?”

“Yeah, guess we could. I get too bored, I’ll let ya drown me.”

We walked awhile, then went up a rocky hill and down the other side to reach a deserted strip. The moon looked huge, lighting up everything until it all looked perfect. I wanted to take her hand, but now wasn’t the time for that.

Instead we took off our shoes and walked along the water’s edge until we found a large grouping of rocks. It was too inviting to resist, so we each took a seat. Faith instantly pulled out a cigarette, then quickly glanced at me.

“Faith…”

“Come on B, way too breezy out here to bother you.”

“Lung cancer always bothers me.”

“Not getting cancer. I’ll probably be dead by then anyways.”

“And if you’re not?”

“Then the big C gets to do its job.”

She started to light up, but the ocean breeze was making it a challenge. She turned her back, she cupped her hands, she cupped her hands and turned her back, but nothing was helping.

“Aha! See, God doesn’t want you to smoke either.”

“Yeah? Explains why the world’s so fucked up. Bastard’s way too worried about the little stuff.”

Finally she got the cigarette going, and grinned all smugly at me.

“Guess God got distracted.”

She took a big drag, then looked at me again. I never said a word.

“Fucking-A Buffy, it’s just a cigarette!”

“I know.”

“Well ya don’t gotta look like I smacked your kid.”

“…I just wish you wouldn’t smoke.”

“Yeah, I know.”

She went to take another drag, then swore out loud:

“Goddamn it, fine!”

She flicked the still burning cigarette into the little pool of water in the middle of the rocks, and then looked over at me.

“Satisfied now?”

In a way, but it was going to take a lot more to…

“Yes, thank you.”

“Whatever…Wow, moon’s really shining up the water.”

“It’s so pretty.”

“Yeah. Funny it can be so different.”

“Different from what?”

She was looking off into the distance, and I thought for a second she wasn’t going to answer.

“Had water where I grew up, but that shit was dirty and cold all the time.”

I held my breath because when she got in a mood to share something, she could turn it off just like that if she were interrupted.

“Never thought I’d see something like this. No wonder so many people love the ocean.”

“Didn’t you ever go to the beach in Sunnydale?”

“No…too busy going nuts, I guess. Wish I had now. No clue it could be like this.”

She looked so young right then, and I wanted to pull her close to me. Instead I just kept listening.

“Maybe it’s better this way. Getting to see it with you is nice, ya know?”

God, was she trying to kill me tonight?

“Yes it is. It’s really nice.”

“B?”

“Uh-huh?”

She was quiet for so long, I thought the conversation was over. But then I heard her suck in a deep breath:

“Really means a lot to me that we’re friends, that we patched things up.”

Tears came to my eyes, and I couldn’t help it.

“It means just as much to me.”

If I wasn’t a Slayer, I would have never heard her next sentence. As it was, I barely heard it anyway:

“Doubt that.”

Then she was back to normal:

“So wanna go show’em how it’s done?”

“Okay, but we’re still way early.”

“Two hot chicks like us? Everybody better stand back.”

We made our way down the beach to the club, and the place was jumping. The line stretched out about a million miles, and I wondered if even Bitch’s connections could help us.

Faith snaked her arm around my waist and pulled me close:

“Just play along for a sec, B. Wanna grab some attention.”

Just play along? I could do that. I moved in closer and shoved my hand into the back of her pants. No underwear of course, and her skin felt so soft and hot against my fingertips. She tensed again, but couldn’t do or say anything about it because we were now up by the door.

Several people shouted at us to go to the end of the line, but we ignored them. Faith went up to the chain like she was a celebrity, and then she just turned it on:

“Hey, baby.”

Her hand stroked along the guy’s arm, and he looked like he’d been hit by a Mack truck.

“Uh…Gotta go to the end of the line…miss.”

“Yeah, but we hate to wait.”

She nuzzled into my neck, her lips brushing along for a few wonderful moments. I was liking this game. I hoped they never let us in.

“Is Steven around?”

“You know Stevie?”

“Of course, doesn’t everybody?”

Her nails trailed lightly down his forearm, and even from where I stood, I could see the goose bumps.

“I’m not…I mean, I’m not supposed to bother the staff.”

“Not even for me?”

Her voice was all soft, and he was leaning forward to hear her.

“Greg, go grab Steve. Lady here’s a friend.”

“Yeah but…”

“Just do it!”

Greg scrambled off his stool and disappeared inside. Faith’s newest victim just kept staring at her, obviously hypnotized or something.

Faith nuzzled me again, her voice low in my ear:

“Is this guy an idiot or what?”

I smiled at her, then did my own nuzzling, licking my way up her neck until I reached her ear:

“You are extremely sexy.”

She tried to pull loose then, but I reached over and wrapped my other arm around her front until I was hugging her close around the waist. She looked more than a little flustered, but then Greg was back with a gigantic muscle bound freak.

“There she is.”

“You Faith?”

“That’s me, this is Buffy.”

“Okay, let’em in.”

The chain was unhooked and we were on our way. The crowd began booing, and Faith blew them a kiss over her shoulder as we went through the door.

“All right ladies, there you go. And Faith, Dani said to tell you she says hi.”

“Tell her ‘hi’ back. And thanks for letting us in, Steve.”

“No problem. First drinks are on the house. Tell them I sent you.”

“Cool. Thanks.”

Then he was gone, and Faith and I let go of each other. Not my favorite part of the night, but I had a plan and I was sticking to it. I figured a slow burning seduction, with brief but increasingly longer moments of direct temptation would get the job done.

We got our drinks, and Faith insisted I have something alcoholic. I got some fruity thing with a multi-colored umbrella. When Faith saw it, she laughed and laughed.

“Christ, you are such a girl.”

“What? I like my drink.”

“What is it?”

“I don’t know, but it came with this.”

I picked up the umbrella and held it over my head.

“Now I’m protected in case it rains.”

Faith laughed again:

“You’d be embarrassing if you weren’t so fucking cute.”

We made our way outside and sat on a little wall, sipping our drinks. The band was good, the decorations were cool, and the dance floor was packed. Somehow being outside made it seem more fun and exotic, so I gulped down the rest of my drink and got all wild.

“Come on F, let’s show’em.”

She smiled at me and took my hand. We found an empty spot, and then started moving.

It wasn’t long before we’d attracted attention. Faith is a fantastic dancer, and so am I when I’m with her. I can feel her, and I just go with her. There’s some metaphor or something about sex and dancing, well here it was in action.

We looked like we were having sex, it felt like we were having sex, and everybody else wanted to be a part of it. They sort of swarmed around us, boys and girls doing their best to cut in, but unless they had Slayer strength they were out of luck.

We danced to song after song, the heat building in every way anyone could possibly imagine. Our hands were still being all proper, but I wanted

improperness, and I wanted it now. I moved closer, so close we were almost grinding against each other, and Faith’s eyes met mine for a second. I held her gaze as I moved closer still, and that was all it took.

Her hands went to my hips, pulling me closer as we swayed to our own rhythm. Forget the song, forget the beat, we were moving to something only we could hear. I let myself melt right into her, and for one glorious minute I had her.

Her hands squeezed my ass and pulled me closer, and there was no denying it. We were almost humping each other, our bodies locked tight and moving perfectly in tune with each other. My head fell back and I moaned, and then just like that I was let loose.

I almost fell it was so abrupt, and Faith looked…Well Faith looked dazed and shaky, and best of all she looked like she was fighting for control. She kept staring at me saying nothing, so I took the lead:

“Whew, that was hot. I could use a drink to cool off.”

“…Yeah, cooling off sounds good.”

We made our way to the bar, and I ordered:

“Hi, can I get two bottled waters?”

I waited while Faith went back outside. The bartender handed me the water, I paid him and went to find her. She was standing by the little wall again, facing out towards the ocean. Her eyes were closed and she seemed a little startled when I tapped her arm.

“Here.”

“Thanks.”

She downed the whole bottle without stopping.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Well, you just kind of walked off back there.”

“Sorry about that. Heat was just getting to me.”

“Want to head back to the hotel?”

“…Ya don’t mind?”

“No. We can walk along the water and let the breeze cool us off.”

“Yeah, that’d be good.”

We waited for the coast to be relatively clear, then just hopped over the wall to the beach which was pretty far below.

It was a ways back to the hotel, but the night was pretty and the breeze coming off the ocean was refreshing. After several minutes of silence, Faith seemed to recover.

“Place wasn’t bad.”

“No, I liked it. It was so cool how they had it decorated.”

“Plus the band was really good.”

“I guess we showed them how it’s done.”

“Course we did. We’re two hot bitches.”

When we got to our room, Faith looked all antsy again. I decided to play down the seduction or she was going to bolt, and in no way did I want that.

“I think I might go for a swim.”

“…”

“Faith?”

“Huh?”

“Wanna go for a swim?”

“A swim?”

“Yes. You know, jumping in the pool where the water is. Moving around and cooling off.”

“Yeah, guess that be okay.”

“Okay, last one in’s a rotten egg.”

I went into the bathroom, tossed her suit to her, and closed the door. I couldn’t help smiling at myself in the mirror. The first real day and she was already rattled. I had to be careful not to overplay my hand though, I wanted her turned on, not freaked out.

The dancing thing was not a good idea…well it was, just not right now. We’d gotten out of control so fast, and I’d almost blown the whole slow building part of the plan. Not the best thing to do at this point, although having my way with Faith could never be considered truly bad. Even in the middle of a crowded dance floor.

That was the tough part of this: I was turned on too. The feel of her against me as I danced with…or as Angel would say, “mated with” her. My whole body wanted her closer. I wanted to stay where I was forever, just feeling her heat, watching her eyes devour me…God she was all sex, all sexy, all sexed up. It was like being near the sexiest sex ever and not being able to do anything about it.

But you have to set your goals, make your plans, and then you have to stick with them. It was hard, boy was it hard, but I had to do it because we were not just about the sex. We were going to be all about love and forever…and then the hottest sex the world of sex has ever seen. I just needed to stay on track for a little while longer, and then I’d be meeting my goals in the most perfect way possible.

When I went back out, she was already in the water. She was swimming laps like she was training for the Olympics, I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone so dedicated. Seriously, her head was down and she was even doing that weird sideways breathing real swimmers do. All she was missing was the cool flippy turny thing.

Evidently Faith was wound up and working hard at getting rid of some excess energy. In keeping with my “go slow policy”, I merely entered on the opposite side of the pool and leaned casually against the wall. The waves began lapping up against my breasts with her every stroke…My desire to jump on her back and show her another, better way to blow off steam, was trying to gain control, but I fought it off.

I watched her cutting through the water, so graceful as the moonlight shone down on all that wet, naked skin. Every muscle in her body that I could see was working in perfect rhythm, flexing and relaxing, her breath coming out in regular bursts as she swam back and forth through the pool.

How I could be heating up in the supposedly cooling water was some kind of bizarre natural phenomenon…or maybe it was a bizarre unnatural phenomenon. Whatever it was, I was fairly certain it was bizarre, and I was also fairly certain that my body temperature was sufficiently high enough to fry an egg on it.

Okay, I was the seducer here, not the seducee. I just needed good thoughts, tough thoughts, and I also needed to turn away from her. I decided to think about other less appealing things as I studied the pool deck.

Icky things like The Master’s fruit punch mouth, Wesley naked, bugs in my food, Dani the Bitch, Kennedy the Bitch, Mom and Giles on the hood of a police car, that little hole Balthazar had, Dawn laughing with her mouth full of yogurt…Faith’s mouth on my…

I have no idea how much time went by but suddenly the water was quiet, and when I turned around, Faith was exiting the pool. Uh…I think I have a thing about Faith and water running down her body. It was happening again, only this time is was like liquid silver pouring down her, trickling into all the most important places, sliding down every inch of her beautiful…

It’s not easy being a hero, but somebody’s gotta do it. We could live in a world where no one puts themselves on the line, but it wouldn’t be very pleasant. I’m used to the concept of sacrifice, so I merely dunked myself under, then climbed up the stairs as if everything was just like it was supposed to be.

I listened closely, but nothing. I think it’d be really cool if a heroic theme song played at times like this. Nothing loud or gaudy, just something chugging along tastefully in the background. It’d make me feel a lot better about all the sacrifices I was having to make.

Faith had already gone in, and I heard the shower running. I got out of my suit, dried off, then slipped on a robe to await my turn. I tried not to let it, but my mind kept wandering to the water that was currently running down Faith’s body in the shower…I think I might be developing a fetish, in fact I’m pretty sure I am.

She came out in a few minutes, a towel wrapped around her body and her head. I was relieved, but I was also sad there would be no more water floor show tonight. It was downright tragic, but I knew it was for the best.

I tried staring at myself in the shower, but not surprisingly, the water running down my own body did absolutely nothing for me. I thought about calling Faith in to see if it would work for her, but just like everything else, that would have to wait. Because we were taking it slow, so very, very slow. My, just look at all the turtles in the passing lane.

When I got out of the shower, Faith was already in bed, facing away from me. I slid under the covers and switched out the light. She never budged, maybe she couldn’t because she was so tense, she resembled a plank of wood.

“Faith, are you awake?”

At first there was no response, she was going to try and bluff me.

“Faith?”

I coupled the verbal with a gentle hand on her shoulder, and she jumped slightly:

“Yeah?”

“I was thinking tomorrow we could do some sightseeing.”

“…Sure, that’d be good.”

“Maybe even do a little shopping?”

She laughed then, and rolled over enough to look at me:

“Yeah, as long as you live up to that ‘little’ part of it.”

“Slayer’s honor.”

“Alright…Night, B.”

“Goodnight, F.”

She turned back over and I settled in.

Sweet dreams of me…for her, not me. I was going to dream about water, and there wasn’t going to be anything sweet about it.

Chapter Seven

I got up early, like “before the sun” early. Faith was still asleep, and I used the phone in the sitting area to order us breakfast. The first time we ordered from room service they ignored us because they thought it was a prank. Who could blame them?

Faith got that straightened out, or “tore them a new one” as she put it. You cannot get between Faith and her food. She wants it when she wants it, and she wants it a lot. I don’t know if she eats so much because she’s a Slayer or if it’s just because she’s a pig, but either way, you risk your life if you try to keep them apart.

I know my appetite increased when I became a Slayer, but Faith’s is off the charts. Thankfully she never seems to gain any weight, but I wouldn’t care all that much. Knowing her, she’d just be curvier and sexier.

I think she was made to be beautiful, no matter what. Certainly as she’s gotten older, that theory’s been proven true. She’s filled out as she’s matured, and now she’s no longer a girl, but a woman. A beautiful, sexy, drive me up the wall woman.

I waited for the room service guy to arrive, keeping watch out the window because I wanted to catch him before he knocked. I didn’t want Faith waking up before I got everything finished, and I got my way because she didn’t hear a thing. I stood back to look over my work, and it looked good, it looked great. Time for her to rise and shine.

When I went to get her, the blanket and sheet were wrapped around her waist, and her bare leg was flung over the side of the bed. She was on her stomach, and I just stood there staring as I imagined kissing my way up that leg. Or maybe nibbling my way along all the delicious looking skin on display, due to her T-shirt’s delightful habit of riding up. Instead I settled for lightly shaking her by the shoulder.

I stayed loose and ready because sometimes Faith wakes up hard. One second everything will be all peaceful and calm, and the next she’ll be throwing punches like she’s in the middle of a fight to the death. Back home, only Willow or I will wake her up now.

Dawnie was the last one to try, and she came running down the stairs in a near panic.

“That’s it, Buffy!”

“Why, what happened?”

“Faith happened. I shook her shoulder, and she rolled over and....”

“And?”

“She was…she is…Buffy, she’s without pajamas!”

I tried to play it cool:

“Well at least she didn’t hit you.”

“Only because I didn’t stick around!”

“So she didn’t have anything on?”

“No! Well at least nothing on top. Thank God I’m just assuming about the other half.”

Hmm…Faith sleeping topless…bottomless…Faith all nude all the time…Me with Faith…while she’s topless…bottomless…all nude all the time…

Okay, lovely thoughts one and all, but I knew I’d better pay attention or I could get killed.

“Faith…”

Nothing, no response at all.

“Faith…”

She stirred, but only to roll away from me.

“Faith, breakfast is here.”

“Hmm?”

“All your favorites. Pancakes, bacon, eggs, orange juice, fruit. Come on…”

“…Cereal?”

“Raisin Bran and Fruit Loops.”

Now she was awake and smiling, looking so cute with her sleepy eyes and messed up hair:

“Toast?”

“Yep. Regular and French.”

“Be right there.”

I went back to the table while she headed to the bathroom, and I dug into the pancakes and sipped my tea. What can I say? Giles has Englished me way beyond repair. The staff had also included some brochures I’d asked for, and I was flipping through them when Faith showed up.

“Good morning.”

“Mornin’, B. Smells delicious, I’m starving…Hey, you do all this?”

“Well I thought it’d be nice to…”

“Man, looks great! Flowers are really awesome.”

“Really?”

She was walking around looking at all of them up close:

“Yeah. Listen you tell anybody and I’ll kill ya, but I really dig flowers.”

“You do?”

“Way girly I know, but it’s true.”

“I love them too.”

She laughed as she made her way over to the table:

“Then it’s a Slayer thing. Not my fault.”

“Nice try, but I’m going to tease you anyway.”

The look on her face was adorable.

“Fuck B, can’t ya cut me a break?”

“Well we are on vacation…”

“Closest we’re ever gonna get.”

No, we were going to get much closer in the next few days.

“Okay then, it’s a Slayer thing. Better dig in, the pancakes are…”

She picked up the plate of remaining pancakes, four to be exact, and poured so much syrup on them they looked like they were drowning. She saw me looking:

“Oh hey, sorry. Did you want some?”

“No, I already had a couple.”

She grinned and began eating happily:

“Whatcha readin’?”

“Some brochures on some touristy spots. I thought we could…”

“Nah, none of that. Let’s just find our own cool places.”

Pancakes inhaled, she munched on bacon while she prepared her Raisin Bran.

“Well I don’t know, there are a lot of…”

“C’mon B, where’s your spirit of adventure?”

At least that’s what I think she said. It was hard to tell since her mouth was full.

“Well, I guess we could try to…”

“No try baby, only do. Find we must, look we shall.”

“Why are you talking like that?”

“Yoda.”

“Yoda?”

She stared at me like I’d gone crazy.

“Yeah, Yoda. ‘Star Wars’? Oh fuck me, are you kidding?”

“I know what ‘Star Wars’ is! I’m just not familiar with all the characters.”

She handed me a piece of toast she’d buttered and slathered with strawberry jam, just the way I liked it.

“Jesus B, I can’t believe this! What, are you telling me you’re the only person on the planet who missed ‘Star fucking Wars’?”

“What’s the big deal? I heard they weren’t all that good anyway.”

“That’s the new ones! Buffy, the originals are classics, you gotta see’em.”

I accepted more toast and a plateful of eggs and bacon. She was shoveling her own in like…well like Faith at breakfast, there’s no other way to explain it.

“Wait, I’m confused. I thought the new ones were the first three.”

“Yeah they are, but they’re not the “first” first ones.”

“Right, that’s all cleared up now.”

She looked at me like I was the dumbest person on the planet, but she still refilled my juice glass.

“The first movies that came out were the middle ones. The ones that just came out are the ones before the middle ones.”

“Why?”

“What?”

“Why did they put the last ones out first?”

“They’re not really the last ones. Were supposed to be three more.”

“Well shouldn’t I wait for those? Then I can just watch them in order.”

“No! First of all, there’s not gonna be any others.”

“Why not?”

She was onto the Fruit Loops now, but she handed me a bunch of red ones before she poured the milk.

“Probably ‘cause the guy who does’em sucks now.”

“Because?”

“Hard to say, but you definitely don’t wanna watch the first three, ya know the ones that just came out.”

“Well how will I be able to follow along?”

“B, just trust me on this, okay?”

“Okay…but it seems like a crazy way to tell a story. Plus who wants to watch six movies about the same thing?”

“Nobody when they turn out so shitty.”

“See, this is why I’ve never seen it. It’s confusing.”

She drank the milk from the bowl, then sat back finally full…Right.

“I got your back, I’m gonna take care of ya. We just gotta…Hey, are those grapes?”

So after we’d polished off the fresh fruit with the French toast, the meal was finally over for real.

“Ya wanna motor soon?”

“Yep. I’ve already showered, so as soon as I get dressed, I’m ready.”

“Okay, let me grab one. Say ten minutes?”

“How about fifteen?”

“Ya get twenty B, then I’m dragging your ass outta here. Ya wanna show off your unmentionables to the world, that’s up to you.”

“I’ll be ready.”

“Gonna believe it when I see it. And B?”

“Uh-huh?”

She was bent over, her face buried in the one red rose I’d placed at the center of the table:

“Mmm…that smells so good. Thanks for the great breakfast. Sure a nice way to start off the day.”

“You’re welcome.”

She went off to the shower whistling, and I began getting dressed. Well right after I had sex with that rose. Okay no, I didn’t have sex with the rose, but I did smell it and kind of rub it against my lips. God, the sexy look of pleasure on her face when…

Stay on target. There would be no enticing today, at least not of the sexual kind. Today was going to be about fun, just hanging out and enjoying each other’s company. Getting her to see how perfectly we fit together, how much fun we could have, and how much we liked each other.

We so seldom ever got to do anything like that. Usually whenever we’re out alone together, we’re fighting for our lives. Sure that’s fun, in a very strange and disturbing way, but it wasn’t what I wanted today to be about.

Here and now we were just Buffy and Faith, two girls in love who were going out to have a normal and fun day. Not a care in the world, as free as...Okay that’s crazy because even I know we will never be that normal, but maybe we could come close to it…together.

I was ready in fifteen minutes, and I smugly pointed that out to her at least a few thousand times. We were dressed for the heat in shorts, tank tops and sandals, and Faith looked so good, I had to put on my sunglasses to hide the lust in my eyes. We stuffed some cash, a credit card, and our room key into our pockets, and we were off.

The whole day was a blast, I can’t remember when I’ve had such fun. Faith had a knack for finding things off the beaten path, like the donkey with a stick tied to its head. Its owners were two young boys who swore to us it was an authentic unicorn. Faith gave them each twenty dollars when we left, and she laughed about it for hours.

We explored all the nooks and crannies we could find, sometimes getting tips from the locals that led us to some incredibly beautiful places. Of course we also found a few scary spots, like the pit bull that chased us both up a tree as we passed by his house.

“What are we supposed to do, sit here all fucking day?”

“Well, it is a good view. Look, there’s the ocean.”

“B…”

“Maybe we should call for help.”

“Oh yeah, they’re gonna come from miles around to take on a pit bull.”

“You have a better idea?”

“Yeah, I jump down and break his fucking…”

“Faith, you can’t do that!”

“Sure I can. Turn on the Slayer speed and the little bastard’s taken care of.”

I knew we couldn’t sit in a tree all day, but did we have to kill a dog? A regular dog? He wasn’t even a hellhound.

“I think he’s starting to warm up to us. He hasn’t barked for like five minutes now.”

“Pit bulls don’t ‘warm up’, B.”

“Doggie? Who’s a good doggie?”

Maybe some dog, but the one that had us treed was actually a bad dog…a slobbering, rabid, vicious killer who was effectively ruining our day.

“B, c’mon! Let me just snap his…”

“No, there has to be…A stick!”

“Good idea. I can stake him and then…”

“Faith, we are not killing this dog.”

She looked at me all confused:

“Hey, you’re the one who said we should grab a stake.”

“I said a ‘stick’! You know, like you use to play ‘fetch’ with?”

“…Oh.”

“I’ll throw it, he’ll chase it, and we’ll run like hell.”

“Yeah, that could work. Good idea, B.”

I broke off the stick, and it started out great.

“Doggie, see the nice stick? Who’s a good boy? Do you want the stick? Huh? Does the good doggie want the stick?”

“Christ B, ya doin’ an interview? Just throw the fucking thing!”

“Shh, I’m getting his attention.”

“Well hurry up, my ass is goin’ numb.”

The dog’s eyes were following the stick in my hand, clearly he wanted it.

“Okay, on three. Want the stick, doggie? One…Want the stick?...Two…Fetch, go get the stick…Three.”

I tossed the stick and Fido never even turned his head. It sailed off, and he just stood below us growling and watching every move and non-move we made. I was pissed:

“Go get it, you stupid idiot!”

He put his front paws on the tree trunk and began barking again.

“I don’t get it. He was clearly interested. Why didn’t he…”

“Think he was more interested in the hand that was holding the stick.”

“Well that’s just great.”

Faith broke off her own stick, then pulled a small switchblade from her back pocket.

“What are you doing?”

“Pretty sure I can get the tip sharp enough to pierce…”

“Faith, we are not killing a dog!”

“Why? Not like he’s a puppy or ‘Dog of the Year’ material.”

“Still…”

“Be doing the neighbors a favor. Bastard probably terrorizes everybody, kills off all the kids…”

She was whittling the stick into a stake all too efficiently.

“We don’t know that.”

“Look, I’ll make sure I nail him in one shot.”

I was ready to cry if that’s what it took to stop her.

“Faith, we cannot hurt, maim, or kill a dog.”

“Yeah but B, this guy’s not Lassie. He’s fuckin’ Cujo.”

“Um…Excuse me.”

An eight or nine year old boy was standing next to Cujo, looking up at us.

“Oh my God!”

“Okay kid, don’t move, not one muscle.”

We were getting ready to spring into action when the little boy sat down, and Cujo plopped onto his lap. He was petting all around the dog’s deadly muzzle, and I suddenly understood why they called it that. It was just as dangerous as a gun.

“Listen to me very carefully. I want you to slowly move your hand away from his mouth.”

“Why?”

“Kid just listen to Buffy, okay? Move your hand and…”

“But Daisy loves it when I do this!”

I wasn’t sure if I’d heard him correctly:

“Daisy?”

“Who the hell’s ‘Daisy’?”

Cujo was now on his back, almost asleep.

“Hey, no swearing allowed!”

Faith looked ready jump down, so I put my hand firmly on her forearm.

“I’m Buffy and this is Faith. Who are you?”

“…I’m not supposed to talk to strangers.”

“Oh right, okay. Is it okay if you just tell us who that is?”

“Who, Daisy?”

“So Daisy is your dog?”

“Yep. She’s three years old.”

Faith mumbled too low for anyone but me to hear:

“Slim chance of hittin’ four.”

“Hey, why are you guys in our tree?”

“Well you see, Daisy kind of scared us and we…”

“Had to climb up here to save our asses.”

He smiled at that news.

“Yeah, she does that to strangers sometimes.”

“Good to have protection. Anyways, think you could call Daisy off so we can head out?”

“Sure, I can put her in the house.”

Daisy was out cold, her huge tongue hanging out of her mouth.

“Faith and I would so appreciate it if you did that.”

“You guys look really funny sitting up there.”

“Ya know, was just telling Daisy that ‘fore you got here.”

He started laughing:

“Daisy doesn’t talk like a person.”

“Explains why she didn’t answer.”

“You’re funny.”

“Ya don’t even know the half of it.”

He stood up, and so did Daisy. No longer a killer beast, Daisy frolicked along licking at the little boy’s hand, making him giggle. Faith looked at me, I looked at her, then we both looked at Daisy.

They went up onto the front porch where Daisy began slurping from a water bowl.

“You can come down. She won’t hurt you ‘cause she knows you now.”

We jumped down and began walking away slowly.

“Hey!”

Daisy and her master were running at us, and I braced myself for killing a little boy’s dog right in front of him.

“You dropped this.”

He handed Faith her switchblade while Daisy sat next to him and yawned.

“Yeah, I did. Thanks.”

“You’re welcome. I have to go now.”

“What’s with the sad face?”

My mom said I have to clean-up my room.”

“Gotta do what your mom says.”

“I know…But it sure is nice out today.”

“Yeah, it’s a beauty.”

“…She’s told me to do it about ten times already. She said one more time and I don’t get any dessert or videogames tonight, and I can’t play outside all day.”

Faith squatted down until she was level with him:

“Listen kid, just suck it up and get it done. Take ya what, twenty minutes? Then you get the good stuff, dessert and videogames, you and Daisy out here. Can’t beat that.”

“Yeah, but I hate cleaning my room.”

“Crappy job for sure, but not as bad as no fun for the whole rest of the day. Plus your mom’ll be all upset, and who needs that?”

He was clearly thinking it over.

“Twenty minutes of doing somethin’ ya hate, then you get a buncha hours of fun. Do the math, just makes sense, ya know?”

“…I never thought about it like that. That does make sense.”

“Well? Haul it, she ain’t gonna stay calm forever.”

He looked all excited:

“Thanks!”

He ran off with Daisy close behind, then stopped when he got to his front porch:

“Hey Faith and Buffy?”

“Yeah?”

“My name’s Danny!”

Then he and Daisy were inside, and all was right with the world again.

We walked slowly down the sidewalk, and every fiber of my being wanted to hold her hand as we went along. My God, how was it possible to be this in love with someone? I wanted to kiss her, but instead I settled for complimenting her.

“You are so good with kids.”

“Huh?”

“You are so good with kids. It’s neat to watch.”

She was all embarrassed, but I could tell she was happy about it too.

“Whatever…I mean, you know.”

“If you weren’t a Slayer, you’d make a great counselor or something.”

“Oh yeah, with my track record I’d…”

I stopped walking then and grabbed her by the arm, making her turn to face me:

“I don’t give a damn about your track record.”

“B…”

“No, you listen to me: You are wonderful Faith, there’s no one I respect more than you. Fuck your track record.”

The look on her face was priceless. She was so shocked that I’d said the F-word, her eyes were huge and filled with disbelief.

“…Did you just say ‘fuck’?”

“I guess it shows I’ve been hanging around with you a lot.”

She laughed then:

“Oh shit, I’ve corrupted the Golden Girl. So not going down good when they find out back home.”

“We’ll deal. Besides, sometimes fu…the F-word is called for.”

“Oh hell, so it was just a one-time deal? Whew, had me shakin’ in my boots for a sec, B.”

“I might say it again…if the situation calls for it.”

We started up with the walking, and she was still laughing at me.

“What sitch might that be? Let’s see, if maybe pastels go out of style?”

“Oh, shut up.”

“I know, yogurt production dries up!”

“I’m thinking now might be a good time.”

“Yeah? Then let’er rip, B.”

She was practically dancing around me, her face just radiating joy as she teased me. How could she be so adorable, beautiful, and sexy all at once?

“Go to hell, F.”

“Aw, sorry B. But still, pretty good for an amateur. Don’t feel too bad.”

“Faith…”

“Swearing’s hard work, takes years of practice. Hey, wanna hit a couple of stores? Might make ya feel better?”

I wanted to ignore her, but shopping? I wasn’t about to cut off my nose to spite my face…and that was a saying I fully understood. Although I did have to wonder who the moron was who cut off their own nose, and only then realized it spited their face.

“So what do ya say, Slayer? Wanna hit the stores?”

“Clothing stores?”

“Yep, think I can handle it for a while.”

“Well come on then!”

I started off at a brisk jog that quickly turned into a full out run.

“Fuck B, you’re like some junkie headin’ for a fix!”

We found a bunch of little stores, and this one place was a goldmine. I bought myself five tops, Dawnie two, and Willow some slacks and a blouse. I tried on nearly everything they had, and Faith never complained once, even offering her opinion when I asked her for it…and even when I didn’t. She is Faith, after all.

I was totally giddy when we walked out, I love shopping for clothes. Faith didn’t look at all suicidal, so I figured it was a great time for all. She was even whistling again as we window shopped, and I couldn’t remember her ever looking so relaxed.

We found a little souvenir place and bought everybody something. Snow globes, key chains, beach towels, and I even bought Faith a shirt to wear later, like when she was dead or unconscious. Her reaction when she saw it, totally surprised me.

She started laughing and she couldn’t quit. It was love at first sight, and she insisted on wearing it immediately. I’d never seen her in something so frivolous, but she didn’t hesitate to put it on. In fact, she literally couldn’t wait.

She ducked into a changing room and then emerged in the goofiest shirt ever. It said, “I Believe” in multi-colored letters, and underneath that bold statement, a glitter encrusted unicorn smiled out from a field of flowers. It was awful, and Faith looked completely ridiculous in it. The gigantic smile on her face took my breath away.

“I love this, B! It’s perfect!”

She walked out proudly in her five dollar shirt like she thought it was the finest in fashion wear. God, no one could ever be cuter than she was. And no one else could ever make a cheap and tacky unicorn T-shirt look so damn sexy.

We ate an early supper at this restaurant that sat on a bluff overlooking the ocean. The sun was just beginning to set over the water, and the view was spectacular. Well it was whenever I managed to look away from her.

We started out with the variety platter of appetizers, then I ordered the lobster and Faith got the biggest steak they had. She shared hers willingly, but she refused my many offers of lobster.

“Faith, just try some.”

“No thanks.”

“Come on, it’s delicious.”

“No way, B.”

“Why not?”

“…Looks like a fucking cockroach.”

“It’s a delicacy.”

“Yeah, real delicate. Oughta smash it with a rolled up newspaper.”

We had an after dinner drink, then decided to walk back to the hotel. It was a beautiful evening, apparently that’s the only kind they ever have here, and the sun still wasn’t all the way down. I kept teasing her that the sparkles on her unicorn were catching the last rays of the sun and blinding me.

“That’s the beauty of a shirt like this B, it does it all.”

We weren’t far from the hotel, when Faith spotted a video store.

“Yeah! Okay, wait here, B!”

It wasn’t long before she came back out with a huge grin and a bag.

“Bought all three DVDs. We can have a ‘Star Wars’ marathon tonight!”

“Are you sure I’m going to like them?”

She was busy combining all the bags into the one big one she’d bought.

“Fuck yeah, they’re great!”

“Okay, but it has to be a slumber party.”

“A slumber party?”

“Yeah.”

She was looking at me suspiciously:

“What’s that involve?”

“First we get into our jammies…”

“What, we gotta regress? Got no ‘jammies’, just some boxers and a T-shirt.”

I rolled my eyes, she’s such a smartass…an extremely cute smartass though.

“Fine, first we get into our sleepwear…”

“Geez, what’s with the fancy talk now?”

“Faith...”

“Okay, I’ll stop. So we get into our night shit…”

Of course, our “night shit”, what was I thinking?

“Then we get into bed and eat junk, watch movies, and talk all night long.”

“Okay, think I can do all of that stuff.”

“Well I hope so. I left out some traditional things so you’d be guaranteed a good time.”

“Like?”

“Painting each other’s toenails, braiding each other’s hair, trying on clothes…”

“Well good call ‘cause I’m not doing any of that stuff.”

“This I know. You’re wicked predictable, F.”

The look on her face was pure happiness.

“Oh, so what? Now ya wanna make fun of how I talk?”

“Well it is wicked funny.”

“This from a California airhead.”

“My F, that’s a wicked shirt you’re wearing.”

“Better knock it off, B.”

“Why, are you getting wicked angry?”

I was pretty close to the water’s edge, but I was sure I could get around her if I had to.

“Ya keep it up and you’re gonna find…”

“Ooh, you’re wicked scary, F.”

She turned away like she wasn’t going to pay me any more attention, but she wasn’t fooling anybody.

Sure enough, she suddenly tossed the bag and lunged for me with her Slayer speed. But me? Well I’m not just anybody. Nope, I’ve got some Slayer speed at my disposal too, so I decided now was the perfect time to dispose of some.

I moved fast, feinting one way and going the other. She anticipated my move perfectly, and we went sailing through the air. We landed hard, locked tightly together as we splashed into the surf.

It was just deep enough to cover our faces, and we came up laughing and spitting out salt water. The look in Faith’s eyes was not the most reassuring, nor was her position on top.

“Faith…”

“Wow, looks like you’re in wicked trouble.”

“We need to move.”

“Why? Wicked fine right here.”

“Faith!”

The tide rolled in, and at the last second she yanked my head above the water, as it crashed to the shore.

“Tell ya B, this is wicked neat.”

“Okay, I’ll stop. I promise.”

“But you were having such wicked fun.”

Again she jerked me up as the tide came in, but this time I was ready. As my shoulders lifted, I rolled quickly, loosening her grip just enough to…dunk myself under the water. Oops.

She pulled me to my feet as I sputtered out about a gallon of water. She was laughing so hard she could barely stand up straight. I would have killed her except her shirt was soaked, and Faith being Faith, well she wasn’t wearing a bra.

“C’mon, let’s get back to the hotel and get dried off.”

I really went for it then, acting like the perfect damsel in distress. I was coughing and practically swooning at her feet as I struggled to keep my balance in the vicious ankle deep water. She did just what I expected her to do, she took charge of the situation…and of me.

She swept me up into her arms, and I of course leaned into her with my own wrapped around her neck. My face was buried in her chest just above the swell of her breast, and I could not have been happier. At least not in public…with my clothes on.

Faith carried me out of the water, but when we were clear she didn’t let go. She just kept holding me in her arms, not saying a word. I know I was supposed to be all about the “go slow” but the warmth of her body, the smell of her mixed with the ocean, her breast poking into the side of my neck…

I would have been okay if she hadn’t started trembling. See? Not my fault, not at all. She was at fault because even though I weigh next to nothing and she’s a Slayer and strong enough to carry me forever, her arms started shaking. Her breathing got all loud and irregular, and how was I supposed to not respond to that?

With the things I was thinking, with the images of us rolling around in the surf, and yeah I’ve heard that was uncomfortable and a big unsexy mess, but who doesn’t want to be those actors? It looked so romantic, those old movies always do, and if I had Faith on top of me I wouldn’t notice if I had sand up my butt.

So I had to do something, and what I did was so, so minor when you compare it to what I could have done. I merely shifted my head slightly and kissed her softly on the neck. Just brushed my lips lightly on her pulse point, and yes I definitely lingered, but there was no tongue. Just lips.

Faith went so stiff, it was like she’d been turned into stone. Her hold on me tightened until it was almost painful, and I could feel her shudder as she stifled a groan. Then I was back on my feet, and Faith had turned away to pick up our stuff.

It took her forever to turn and face me, but when she did she looked almost normal. Except for the fact that her face was all red and her hands were shaking as she kept fumbling around with the bag. I stared at her, and if she’d have met my eyes, she would have known.

But she didn’t look at me, her eyes went nowhere near my face.

“You’re welcome, B.”

What? I’m “welcome”? What in the hell was she…?

Oh, she was going to pretend that a kiss on the neck was a normal “thank you” between friends. A kiss that lingered, a kiss that had sparks flying from it that left her shaking. A kiss where just the tip of my tongue found out what she tasted like with salt water coating her…Okay, so I lied before. But it was just a little tiny bit of tongue, I swear.

The point to focus on is that of course I always thank my friends like that. Willow, Giles, Xander, everyone gets a kiss and a mini-lick whenever Buffy’s grateful.

“C’mon, let’s motor. Got us three movies to watch.”

And with that, she headed off down the beach.

I was content to stay a couple of steps behind her because her shorts were wet and clinging to her butt. Every step she took was mesmerizing, and I became quite happy as I followed her back to our room. Plus for awhile, water was running down her bare legs, and by the time we’d arrived at our hotel, my new fetish had become a full-blown obsession of the obsessive kind.

She unlocked the door to our room and offered to let me take the first shower.

“You go B, I’ll order some stuff for us.”

So as I was cleaning up, and yes there was a lot of sand in some very awkward places, my mind was busy going over the day minute by minute. Yes, it seems I have many things living large on the somewhat obsessive side, all them involving Faith. Well, nobody’s perfect.

Everything had gone so well. We’d had a great time and it was clear we enjoyed being together. It was also clear that I wanted to make love with her, and it was just as clear that she wanted me too. That fact was obvious; gloriously and wonderfully obvious.

The trouble was that she couldn’t seem to make herself believe that I wanted her just as much as she wanted me. All the undeniable signs were there, she saw them, she felt them, but she still could not believe them. She would peek out for a second, let loose, then run right back behind her irritatingly well-constructed wall. It was where she felt safe.

Okay, that was okay. Things were progressing along, maybe not as fast as I’d like, but we were well within Slayer approved guidelines. If I wanted to have sex with her, I could make that happen at any time, and for some reason that made me feel better.

Just knowing for sure that the option was there, that I made her feel like that, well it let me relax. It let me remember that this day hadn’t been about sex, it had been all about love and fun and enjoying life together. And tonight? Well that was what the night should be all about too.

When I came out of the shower, Faith was wrapped in a couple of towels.

“Rinsed off by the pool.”

“Well the shower’s yours now.”

“Okay. Ordered a buncha stuff. Probably here in like ten.”

Then she was gone. I got into my pajamas and then I made a superhuman effort until I’d rededicated myself to the cause. I was not seducing her. We were going to watch movies, movies that she loved and wanted to share with me. We were going to eat junk and relax. I was not going to rub against her, stare at her, caress her, or sit on top of her. I was going to be good. How was I going to do that? I had no idea but hey, superhuman here, literally.

To my surprise, I did okay. The food came, the movies began and I loved them. I was hooked right from the start, and I could not believe how fun and exciting it was. All the twists and turns, the action, I even loved the cute little Ewoks, much to Faith’s disgust.

“B, nobody likes’em. Christ, they’re…”

“They’re cute, like little teddy bears!”

“They’re sickening. They shouldn’t even be in the movie at all.”

It ended way too soon, and as we got ready for bed, I found myself going back to the Ewoks:

“They might have been a little on the cutesy side, but the good guys needed their help to win.”

She’d cleaned off the bed, and was busy straightening out the blankets.

“Yeah maybe, but shit.”

“And then that one…”

“Oh fuck me, don’t start bawling again!”

“Well how could you not?”

“’Cause I was hoping they’d all get…”

My eyes were starting to tear up as I remembered the scene.

“Then when the other one comes back to see if he’s okay and…”

“B please, no more waterworks. Look, the little freak died a hero, okay? He’s fine now, hanging with Obi-Wan and his crew. It all turned out good.”

She looked so sweet as she tried to pull me away from the dark side.

“I guess. Anyway, I loved the story.”

“Yeah, knew ya would.”

“So don’t I really want to see the other movies?”

“Way better off letting it go. Take my word on this one.”

“…If you’re sure.”

“Fucking positive.”

We got under the covers, and Faith turned off the light on her side.

“Night, B.”

“Night.”

I still hadn’t turned out my light.

“Faith?”

“Yeah?”

“Thanks for getting me to watch the movies. They were so great.”

“Sure, can’t have my girl…”

She completely freaked out. It was the world’s biggest overreaction, and it was hysterical in every possible way.

“I meant like ‘girl’ friend, like in a ‘friend’ way. Like in a ‘Slayer’ way. Like a fucking friend…No! Not like a ‘fucking’ fucking friend just like a…”

I decided to offer her some compassion:

“I get it. You don’t want me to be a movie dummy.”

I could practically see her relief at my words.

“Right, exactly.”

“Well thanks.”

“Sure, was my pleasure…I mean, it was satisfying…Shit…Night.”

No laughing allowed out loud, but inside? HAHAHAHAHA!!!!

My fucking, as in my “fucking” girlfriend, is so sweet and cute and sexy. She is also so fucking “mine”.

I turned out my light and settled down. It didn’t take long before I began drifting off, and the last thing I heard before I gave into sleep was a softly whispered:

“Jesus.”

I smiled. Yep, all mine.

Chapter Eight

The next two days went just like the ones before, except they were different and weird. Faith and I had fun, there was no doubt about that. We fit with each other like we were meant to be together, and it was a wonderful feeling. Everything was perfect, everything except Faith. And the small fact that I wanted to kill her.

She was tense, so tense she looked like she was going to explode. She would relax into our relationship, which was rapidly and wonderfully intensifying, then she would talk herself into thinking I wasn’t interested, and she’d retreat.

There was also her new and insane training regimen. I guess she was getting ready for the decathlon or the biathlon or some kind of “athlon” thing because she was swimming laps constantly, doing push-ups and sit-ups every time I turned around, and she even went out running twice. It didn’t seem to be helping her all that much, but she kept at it.

So did I. I flirted with her every second I could. I slept practically on top of her, touched her repeatedly, let my eyes openly stare at every part of her, and she was completely rattled. I’ve never seen her so awkward and clumsy.

She dropped everything, knocked things over, stumbled constantly over her words, and acted like she had a huge case of PMS. She wasn’t mean, but she was on edge. So on edge, I knew something had to give soon. Like sooner than soon.

We were lazing by the pool, and Faith’s eyes were closed as they always were now whenever I was in my suit. She didn’t want to look at me, so she kept her eyes shut as much as she possibly could. It was funny, it was cute, but we were running out of time.

I had to take action.

“Faith?”

“…Yeah?”

She didn’t turn to face me and her eyes remained closed, so I got up and sat down on her chair with her. I saw her breathing stop as she tensed, then she tried to relax her muscles and breathe again. It looked wicked difficult for her to manage.

“Could you put this on me?”

I held the bottle out to her, and finally she was forced to open her eyes. When she saw what I held in my hand, it was like I was offering her a rattlesnake. She stood up ready to run for her life, but that wasn’t going to happen, not unless I was riding on her back when she took off.

“Thanks.”

I tossed her the bottle, which she dropped, and I stretched out on my stomach on her chair. I heard her clearing her throat, and when she finally spoke she sounded desperate:

“B, we haven’t even been slaying.”

“I know, crazy isn’t it? It’s not all that bad, it’s just kind of sore.”

“Hey, was thinking we should give Giles a call. Maybe those demons…”

“I called yesterday. There’s no change, so he said we should just enjoy our time off.”

“Great…Man, sure am starving here. Want me to run to that sandwich joint you…”

I turned my head to look at her:

“F, come on. It won’t take you that long.”

“...Yeah, I know that. I…”

“Tell you what, I’ll return the favor. When you finish with me, I’ll do you.”

She sucked in air so fast, she began choking.

“N…no, I’m cool.”

I scooted over so that she had room to sit on the edge of the chair, then waited. It wasn’t long before I felt her ass and thigh rubbing against me…we should do this all the time. I heard her squirt some lotion onto her hands, then after a long pause, she got started.

Her hands were shaking as they touched my back, and at first contact she froze. Then I heard her inhale deeply and she began rubbing in the lotion. I tried not to, but I moaned. Not a total porn star moan, not that I watch porn, but it was a moan nonetheless.

Her hands left my back just like that, and I felt her getting ready to run again.

“That’s the spot right there. Can you try to work it out?”

For a second, I thought she wasn’t going to do it, but then her hands began kneading gently. I tried to keep my breathing slow and steady, but it wasn’t easy and I wasn’t entirely successful at it. Everywhere she touched felt hot and cold at the same time, and I wanted her to just turn me over and end the torture.

But no, Faith was hanging tough. It was normally something I admired about her, but right now I wanted to kill her because of it. Okay, she wanted to hang tough? Good luck.

I began groaning and sighing, and I sounded seriously sexy. Then I threw in some movement and said her name:

“Mmm…Faith…”

That was all it took, the massage was over.

“Okay, think I got it.”

“Well I definitely feel...better.”

I actually heard her swallow.

“Great. Wow, it’s hot. Gonna take a dip.”

Then she was in the pool doing her weird professional swimming. Experience told me she’d be at it for at least a half an hour.

I turned over and began thinking. I understood what she was doing, and it wasn’t at all unexpected. When you looked at it from her point of view, what else could she do? Well besides what I wanted her to.

She was afraid, and despite all of the evidence staring her right in the face, she would not trust it. It wasn’t the end of the world, but it was coming to the end of our time here. We were going to have to resolve this very soon, one way or the other, but I desperately wanted Faith to make the first move.

I could be wrong, but I don’t think I am. Faith is not a fool, she knows herself very well. If she finally cracked and took us to the next level, it was going to be virtually impossible for her to try and claim she’s just doing her “get some, get gone” thing.

As hard as she’s been fighting not to take me, well there’s just too much emotion and intensity for her to fool either of us into believing that it’s just been about the sex. I think she loves me, I’m almost positive of that now. She wouldn’t keep resisting me if it was just about the sex…I think.

Regardless of what was going on, I had to speed things up. It was already Day 9, crunch time. I won’t say we’ve already wasted too much time, we haven’t. We’ve bonded, we’ve had fun, and we’ve gotten so much closer. Every bit of it has been of the wonderful.

I love her. She’s fantastic, everything I’ve ever wanted. This trip has been the best time I’ve ever had, and it’s all because of her. I am not going home until we both understand without any doubt that we are a couple. I’m refusing to accept any other outcome.

And maybe it seems trite, but I want to know her in the biblical sense before we leave here. I suppose it sounds sort of superficial, but that’s how I feel. I want her in every possible way, and I want her over and over again. I want time with just her.

Besides, Faith is going to combust if we don’t do it soon. She’s just barely hanging on, and I don’t want her leaving here unsatisfied. She’s my woman now, and it’s my duty to attend to all of her needs. It’s like a mission of mercy, a good deed, a kindness I have to extend. They call me “Saint Buffy” for a reason.

Yes, we were both very surely going to get what we wanted. The only question in my mind was…God, she is so perfect.

“Good swim?”

“Yeah, refreshing.”

She was looking nowhere near me as she sat down, and she was still so tense, she was the literal definition of the word.

I got up, and she appeared to be bracing herself.

“Do you want a drink?”

“…Any beer left?”

“Maybe one, I’ll check.”

That was another thing. She’d tried drinking almost nonstop, but I was ready and waiting, and I put a stop to that before it could get started. She wasn’t happy with the request, but she did what I asked.

Why? I’m hoping it’s because she’s pussywhipped. Or at the very least, I’m hoping she’s “Buffywhipped”. That would make some things so much easier, now and in the future.

Okay, I need to think. I’ve done great so far, planning things out and making the necessary adjustments as everything’s gone along. I’ve been smart, I’ve been flexible, and I’ve been understanding.

It hasn’t been hard. Winning Faith over is the most important thing in the world to me, hence the big effort. She well worth it, and she deserves a little patience. But now? Well now it’s Day #9, and I think Night #9 has to be the night. It’s time to bring a physical relationship into this…relationship.

Okay, decision made, we are doing it tonight. And tomorrow and tomorrow night. Not continuously though, because even sex addicts need a break. But as far as I’m concerned, we will not be leaving the bed once we get in it, except for essential non-bed functions… and sex in different locations.

I’ve played it by ear all this time, doing my best to wing us right to where we’re meant to be. Well now my instincts are telling me it’s time to move us forward, no ifs, ands, or buts. I’ve done the beginning and the middle of the plan, now it’s time to grab the reward that’s waiting for us at the end.

I went back outside with a beer and a Diet Coke. Faith was relaxing on her chair with all the ease of a concrete slab. I was positive I could bounce a tennis ball off of her.

“Here you go, last one.”

“Thanks.”

Her eyes were focused somewhere to the left of me, and once she took the can, they closed.

“So I was wondering, did you want to go out tonight?”

Now this was Faith I was asking, a girl who would go out at the drop of a hat…And I am letting that one go because I have bigger fish to fry…Okay seriously now, that one makes no sense whatsoever. Yes, bigger fish are nice, but the smaller ones are…Forget it because she’s not answering me.

“Faith?”

“…Where to do what?”

“I was thinking we could go out to eat and then maybe see a movie.”

I could feel the relief practically oozing out of her.

“Yeah, that’d be alright.”

“It’s a date then.”

Always a surefire way to incite her, but not this time. There was no joking, no flirting, no banter of any kind. There was just a Slayer in heat trying to look all calm and normal.

Of course the big giveaway there is that “calm” is nowhere near normal for Faith. Still, I’ll give her points for trying, and I get some too for lying so convincingly. It’s not something I’d normally be proud of, but this is a special circumstance, so I’m giving myself a pat on the back for being exceptionally skilled at deception.

Because we are not going to the movies, we are going to be too busy having sex instead. And for real, if I can’t pull this off gracefully, then I know where there’s some rope and I’m totally prepared to use it. I am hoping it doesn’t come to that, at least not tonight.

After another hour of sitting by the pool, I made the announcement that I was going inside to make myself even more sexually appealing to her. Well what I actually said was:

“I think I’ll start getting ready.”

“Okay, take your time, Princess. I won’t need much.”

She was way more relaxed now that it seemed we had the evening planned and would be fully occupied with something besides each other. She was so cute when she was so wrong.

I did everything. I shaved my legs and underarms and trimmed…I lotioned every inch of me that I could reach, my hair came out looking perfect, and I was wearing white shorts that showed off my new tan. I looked good, I looked sexy, and I looked like a woman in love.

She was still by the pool, sitting on the edge with her legs dangling in the water.

“All yours, F.”

She was a million miles away.

“Faith?”

“You say something?”

“Yep, the bathroom’s all yours.”

“Great. Be ready in a few.”

The instant I was sure she was in the shower, I was in her bag. I stuffed the shirt I knew she was going to wear into my bag, leaving her a wrinkled T-shirt and the backless leather one she had. A much better choice for a seduction, all that skin on display.

I was watching TV when she came out. I ignored her as she searched through her bag, at least until she brought me into it:

“Shit.”

“What?”

“Coulda sworn I had another shirt.”

“Don’t worry, we can do some laundry tomorrow.”

“Yipee. After that, wanna go watch the paint dry?”

“Oh stop being such a baby. We’ll be home soon, and you can con Andrew into doing your laundry for you.”

“Well, Andy does a good job. Guy’s a born housewife.”

She went back into the bathroom to get dressed, and I was grinning. All systems go.

We’d have dinner first at our favorite place, then oops, and then back here for the best night of our lives. It could go wrong, but I didn’t think it would. It was a simple plan again, and all I had to do was seduce her when we got back here.

We walked to the restaurant, and they greeted us by name. They gave us a great table, and we had our favorite waiter. The meal was great, delicious as always, and Faith was totally relaxed. We laughed and ate, and she was so beautiful as she sat there smiling and telling stories.

She had chocolate cake and I ordered a hot fudge sundae. I only managed three bites before I went into my act. I was laughing and “accidentally” tipped my sundae all over my pink top and white shorts. I then smeared it around, making it ten times worse as I attempted to clean it off.

Our waiter came over and offered to help, but even he saw it was a hopeless cause.

“Darn it, I need to go back and change.”

“No big B. Still got plenty of time to catch the movie. C’mon.”

The moon was out, the breeze was warm but refreshing, and I was as calm as I could be. Faith was still all relaxed and unsuspecting, and I almost felt sorry for her.

When we got to our room, I became the greatest actress in the world.

“Wow, what a mess. I think I need to wash-up a little.”

“Hey, don’t worry about it. Still early. We can catch the later flick. Always something to see.”

“Okay, I’ll be right out.”

“I’ll be here.”

Yes, for a minute you will.

I went into the bathroom and I paused to look in the mirror. I guess I was checking to see if I had any last minute doubts, but I didn’t. All I saw looking back at me was the reflection of a young woman who had finally figured out who and what she wanted. I looked happy and horny, and most of all I looked ready.

I turned on the shower and stripped, then stood there waiting About two minutes passed and just like that, it was time. I took a deep breath and then I called her:

“Faith!”

It took a few seconds, but then she answered:

“Ya call me?”

I didn’t answer her right away, then I yelled again:

“Faith!”

She came to the door:

“Calling me, B?”

“What?”

“Did you call me?”

I purposely mumbled my response.

“What?!”

“Faith!”

“B, can’t hear shit out here.”

“Sure.”

“What?!”

She was becoming irritated…perfect. An irritated Faith was an impatient Faith, and an impatient Faith was a less cautious one.

“Faith!”

“Goddamn it! B, you decent?”

Again I mumbled my response.

“B, are you decent?!”

Now I know very well what that means. It means do you have all your revealing parts covered? It means, is your modesty and virtue protected? It means, can I come in there and not see what I so desperately want to see?

I rest my case. Clearly I know what the phrase, “Are you decent?” means. Hence my next word does not prove that I am stupid, it proves that I am a liar.

“Yes!”

I yelled it clearly and confidently, just as confidently as she swung the door open and walked in. She came to a dead stop about three steps in as she caught way more than a glimpse. It was a full on look at me. It was Buffy in the buff. The Slayer was on display.

She didn’t move or say a word for eight seconds, I know because I counted. And not the cheating kind of counting either. I did the whole, “one Mississippi, two Mississippi” thing. Her eyes were open wide as they roamed over every square inch of me, and I have never seen them so dark, not even when she was crazy.

Sure they can be dark, really dark, but right now they looked black, and I couldn’t see into them at all. I suppose the effect could be called unnerving, but I wasn’t unnerved. I was just excited to see her so turned on.

Finally she came to her senses, or something that kind of passed for that:

“Jesus, B! Thought you said…”

“What’s the big? Nothing we both haven’t seen before.”

“But I asked if…I…I asked if you were decent!”

“I guess I misunderstood, but as long as you’re here, would you mind…”

Apparently she would mind, in fact she seemed to mind enormously. She whirled around to get out of the bathroom, and she slammed hard into the door frame. Hard as in “Slayer” hard. Hard enough to hospitalize somebody else.

The collision knocked her backwards, and a piece of the molding thingy around the door broke off. She was obviously stunned, just standing in place as she weaved slightly. Not what I’d planned for, but it was my opening and I took it.

“Faith, are you okay?”

I went up behind her and laid my hand on her shoulder. She jumped at the contact, spinning around so quickly she had to reach out to balance herself. Her left hand more than grazed my right breast, it actually grabbed on.

She turned red and let go like I was on fire, and in her haste to run, she smashed her head right into the open door. The door was big and heavy. It was made of maple or oak…Okay, I don’t know one wood from another, so I don’t have the first clue what the door’s made of. I just know it’s heavy and solid, and she actually wobbled and started to go down from the impact. It was perfect.

I caught her and led her to the little vanity chair. As I sat her down she didn’t protest, not a peep. I turned off the shower and went back over to her. Her face was breast high, just a half step forward and she’d have been nestled quite nicely.

“Just sit still, Faith.”

She was clearing, I could see it, but I pretended I didn’t notice.

“Huh? No, I’m okay.”

“No you’re not.”

“Yeah, I’m…Fuck!”

I’d leaned up to grab a washcloth from the shelf behind her, and my nipple rubbed along her lips. She made this strangled noise and tried to leap to her feet.

Here’s the thing: you can’t stop a Slayer when she wants to stand up. Of course you can’t stop a Slayer when she wants you to sit down either. Two Slayers, two different goals. Neither of us ended up where we’d hoped to, but I was very happy with our final destination.

We became entangled and fell to the floor. As we went down, I must have hit one of the ten million towel racks just right because it tore loose from the wall. No big…except it smacked Faith right in the face.

Now she had a large knot on her left cheek, and a slight cut on her right. It was perfect, except I didn’t want her hurt. She was all woozy though, that part of it was excellent, so I picked her up and carried her to the bed. She didn’t say a word, and I was pretty sure she wasn’t quite with me yet.

I wrapped myself in a towel and grabbed the first aid kit from my bag. I stood beside her and leaned over to administer the best medical assistance ever, but of course I just couldn’t reach her injuries. I put on quite a show for a few seconds, and then I just straddled her on the bed.

Her eyes cleared just like that. And I mean, just like that. She sucked in a huge breath, and she never let it out. As far as I know, it’s still in there someplace, but that was her problem.

My problem was to maintain the pretense that I was totally focused on her injuries. I’d cleverly placed the first aid kit just out of reach, so I was forced to squirm around as I reached for it. I let my towel slide and part slightly, and Faith groaned, a mixture of pure pleasure and pure desire. I understood, boy did I understand, but I pretended I didn’t have a clue.

“Sorry, I know it hurts. Just hold on.”

I gyrated as much as I could safely get away with, and when I finally grabbed the kit and got back into place, Faith looked…well she looked like a lot of things. She was flushed, her eyes were completely black again, and she couldn’t seem to breathe right.

She would not look at me, and when my fingers brushed lightly along her cheek she jumped, pushing herself up and into me. I almost took her right then, but I hung on…just barely. I’ve done many heroic things in my life, tough things, brave things, but none of them were any harder than not taking her right at that second.

But I had to wait, even though I didn’t want to. She needed to make the “first move”, we needed her to be the one to go for it. She could still try to run afterwards, but it’d be a lot tougher to pull off if she was the one who ended up jumping me. I had to keep focusing on that.

If I seduced her just right, I would get her. She wouldn’t try to run afterwards, she’d stay right here with me and she’d be happy about it. I so wanted that, and it made the next few minutes absolutely critical.

So my attention went back to patching her up, ignoring everything else as much as I could. It wasn’t easy to do, not with the heat from her body rising up between my legs, not with every atom in me just screaming out for me to take her.

By the time I was done, Faith was shaking like a leaf. Sweat had beaded up on her forehead, her eyes were squinched shut, and her hands were bunched in the bedspread. I could see the small tear she’d ripped in it from hanging on for dear life, and somehow that turned me on even more. The soft little whimpers that kept escaping from her kind of got things going too.

When I got up both of my hands were full, so I let my body slide along hers, my towel deciding it would rather stay with her as I rose. It sounded like she was choking as she stood up almost faster than even my eyes could follow. She turned her back to me and went to stand by the open French doors, not saying a word.

I could hear her breathing all ragged and shaky, and she looked so beautiful as the moonlight bathed her in its glow. She stood perfectly still, except for the effort it took for her to suck in the huge gulps of air she seemed to need.

I put the stuff in my hands down on the table and walked up behind her. Her eyes were closed again, and she was still with the shaking and the gulping. Poor baby, I could help her if she’d just ask me.

Her knuckles were white where she was gripping onto the door frame, and as my arms encircled her waist, the whiteness went almost transparent.

“Mmm…It sure is beautiful tonight.”

I heard her trying to clear her throat to answer, but all that came out was a low growl. That sound had me fighting off the shivers, but I wasn’t going to give in. I was the seducer and I was doing a great job of it. It was tough to keep going, but I’m the Slayer and I never give up.

“The moon’s so…”

My breath on her neck, not the easiest thing to do because I had to rise up on my tiptoes to reach that high, made her quiver. There were now goose bumps on all of the exposed skin I could see, and her breathing kept stopping and starting without any rhythm.

“…romantic, don’t you think?”

There was no response, at least not a verbal one.

“This place, the privacy, the sound of the ocean, the smell of…everything.”

She tried to pull away, but my hands were clasped at her stomach. I leaned in closer, my breasts rubbing back and forth against her bare back. The skin on skin contact left us both speechless for a moment, but I pushed on:

“I’m so glad we’re here together. All alone…just you and me.”

I leaned around to get a look at her, and the expression on her face was like she was being tortured. Her eyes were closed, her face was screwed up into a grimace, and she looked like she was in pain.

“Wanna go skinny dipping with me?”

It took her a long time to respond.

“S…Sk…Skinny….Skinny dipping?”

“Why not? It’s a private pool, and half of us are already naked.”

Her eyes opened, and I released her and walked out to the pool. I dove in just as gracefully and sexily as I could, and while I’m not the Olympian she’s shown herself to be these last couple of days, well I do have all these fancy Slayer skills.

When I made it back to the surface, I saw she was still standing in the same place, only now a large piece of the doorframe was free and resting in her hand. We were going to have quite a bill for damages when we left here.

“Well F, are you…coming?”

Yes it was me with the dirty innuendoes, not my usual thing, but I seemed to be doing all right. Again there was the choking noise, and then miracle of miracles, Faith was finally stripping.

As piece after piece of clothing found its way to the ground, I became more and more entranced. She is so beautiful…there’s really nothing else to say. Except to say that she’s so beautiful she looks exactly like beauty. Maybe that doesn’t make sense, but it does when you’re looking at her. And I was looking, by everything sacred and holy I was looking.

The moonlight just made her more perfect, and it took every ounce of my willpower to wait for her. She walked kind of tentatively towards the pool, almost shyly, and it was nothing like anything I’d ever seen her do before. It was so sexy.

She didn’t jump in, she didn’t dive in, no funny cannonball entries for her tonight. She walked slowly down the steps, and then her eyes locked with mine. She was looking at me with such intensity, no one’s ever looked at me like that. She kept coming until she was about three steps away from me. Then…nothing.

I could feel her desire, could feel the heat between us, but Faith just stood there unmoving, her eyes still looking into mine. It should have been plenty. She was right there, standing naked just a few feet away and looking at me just like I wanted her to. I was doing all the same things right back to her, and yet she’d stopped.

No. No to the stopping. No to the backing away. No to her talking herself out of what she sees and feels. No to her doubting how I feel about her. No to her ignoring what’s right in front of her. No to everything except me and her together.

I smiled at her then, and it wasn’t a friendly smile. Instead it was a challenging smile, a seductive smile that was designed to get her to react to me. Before she could respond I floated onto my back, and as my breasts broke through the surface of the water, I moaned.

The growling was back, only much louder, and the next thing I knew I was being yanked up roughly by my wrists.

“I’m sorry, B.”

And then her mouth was on mine, our bodies crushed together as her lips finally took what I so wanted to give to her. It was perfection. Nothing had ever felt so good, so right, so totally alive.

I didn’t battle her at first, I let her take what she wanted. I’d been teasing her for days, weeks even, and I felt she should have the run of me…at least for a while. It seemed only fair, but then fair went right out the window when her tongue swirled around mine.

Suddenly it became a Slayer free-for-all. Back and forth, this way and that, we fought to take control. We ended up kind of wedged against the steps, still struggling to push each other up against the wall.

Our hands were roaming, exploring, seeking, and we never stopped kissing. Our arms were flexed as we tried to maneuver each other to suit ourselves, and then her legs began entwining with mine.

Short circuit…stroke…aneurysm…meltdown. I lost it then, and before I even realized it, she’d used those soft strong legs to spin me around and slam me up against the wall, face first.

The air left my lungs at the impact, and my breasts rubbed up against the side of the pool. It hurt a little bit but Faith didn’t seem to care, and neither did I. Her hands pushed mine down flat onto the deck and she held them there, her body pinning me right where I was. Her mouth began attacking everywhere she could reach, blazing a trail up and down my body.

I couldn’t move, and I didn’t want to. I could feel her heat right through the water, and I have never wanted anyone as much as I wanted her. Still she didn’t speak, there was just a nearly continuous murmuring from down low in her throat.

After a couple of minutes, I tried to turn and face her, but she wouldn’t let me. My hands lifted slightly as I moved, but she forced them back down, her grip tightening possessively.

“No.”

That was it, and that was enough. I stayed where I was, shaking and moaning as she continued tormenting me with her lips, tongue, and teeth. She kissed and licked and nibbled gently on the exact spot where Angel had bitten me, and God how that all seemed like it had happened a lifetime ago.

Suddenly she bit down hard, it was almost painful, and my legs buckled with the sensation. Well they would have if I’d been standing on them. Instead I was pinned to the wall, my legs floating a few inches off the pool bottom.

Before I knew it she’d whirled me around, trapping my arms behind my back, holding me firmly in her hands. Our bodies smashed against each other, and again we both stopped dead in our tracks .The feeling was incredible, and all I could do was moan as she went back to kissing me.

It was ferocious, passionate, and primal, and it took me someplace I’d never been before. Everything was gone, there was literally nothing else for me except her. The taste of her mouth on mine became my whole world, the feel of her body gliding against my skin, my whole universe.

After a while, I struggled to pull my hands loose…I had to touch her. She would not let me go, not even when I pleaded:

“Faith, please...I need…I need to touch you.”

“No.”

Her mouth trailed down my neck, biting and sucking almost leisurely as she made her way along. I began moaning constantly as she drove me into a frenzy, and still she would not stop. I was helpless, unable to do anything except land the occasional kiss to the top of her head as she roamed by, tasting every part of my body that she could reach.

It seemed to go on forever, and then just like that, she lifted me up into her arms and began carrying me into our room. Okay, but all I cared about was that my hands were now free. I didn’t waste my opportunity.

I grabbed her head, my fingers tangling tightly in her hair as I pulled her mouth down to mine. I was a little on the forceful side, and we crashed together, but it didn’t faze either of us. Our tongues instantly began fighting for control, and this time I wasn’t willing to let her win.

My tongue won the battle, go me, and she groaned deeply into my mouth. Something dark and basic ignited inside of me then, and it should have been a little scary, but it wasn’t. It was Faith and it was me, and there was nothing about us that could ever scare me. All it did was make me feel like I was right where I belonged.

Before I could act on whatever it was that I was feeling, we were down on the bed, and Faith was on top. I tried to change that, I wanted to take the lead now, but she had other ideas. We struggled, then my wrists were pinned by one of her hands, her grip almost bruising me as she held on tight.

I looked at her face then, and what I saw made a thrill shoot all the way down my spine. Her eyes were filled with nothing but desire, and it was all for me. She looked wild, she looked passionate, and she looked just like I’ve always wanted her to.

Her mouth crushed against mine, and her other hand began traveling at will down my body. When she began exploring my breast, I could not stop from calling out my pleasure. Her fingers skillfully worked me over until I was sure I was going insane, and then her mouth finished the job.

Her tongue swirled around and around, her teeth biting as her lips sucked and pulled, and as crazy as it sounds, I came right then. It just happened, and it was powerful. One of the most intense orgasms I’ve ever had, and I’ve had some really good ones.

I laid there trying to gather my scattered senses and figure out what had just happened, when I noticed my hands were free again. Okay! Now it was time to show her just how much…Oh…my…God…

Evidently you have to pay attention to all of your body parts when you’re with Faith because even though my hands were free, my legs were not. They were thrown over her shoulders and…Oh…my…God…

A few minutes of that and I went off like…like…like a woman being eaten out by a master. I thought I might be dying, and then I went off again. It was either two orgasms so close together it was crazy, or it was one long one that started out as impossibly intense and then somehow escalated right when my head felt like it was coming off.

Whatever was happening, all I could do was scream her name. What came out was: “@#*!” because I just couldn’t do anything else. It was a miracle I could even breathe, let alone talk or scream gibberish. Did I mention my head had blown off?

I was in a daze. Now I’ve heard that expression many times, I would have even said that I’ve experienced it before, but no. I didn’t have the faintest idea what it meant to be in a daze, not a clue.

Because right then? If someone had asked me what my name was, I don’t think I could have given them the correct answer. I didn’t know who the president was, I had no recollection of what year I was in, and I’m fairly certain that two plus two would have equaled just whatever the hell it wanted to. That’s just how dazed I was.

I felt her slide back up my body, and then her hand began exploring where her mouth had just claimed me as her own.

“Oh God…I can’t…I’m just…”

Her voice was at my ear:

“For me, B.”

I almost came just from that.

Then her fingers slipped inside me, and suddenly I wondered why I’d thought I was spent. She started up a rhythm, I started going with her, and before I knew it I was right on the verge again. Wow, I’ll say this: there’s no false advertising when it comes to Faith. In fact if anything, her reputation just doesn’t do her justice.

I fought to hold it off, I wanted the moment to last forever. I stared up at her trying to memorize what her face looked like, and she was so beautiful. Dark and sexy, powerful and deadly, gentle and kind, cruel and rough. She was so very dangerous, yet all I felt was completely safe for the first time in my life…Well I felt horny too, but duh.

Then suddenly, it wasn’t up to me anymore. She was in total control of me, taking me right to the edge and pulling me back again and again. Every inch of me was alive, every part of me was calling out for her, everything I was belonged to her, and only her. She had me completely, and I was shaking and moaning with her every move.

Her face was filled with such pleasure, it was like I was thrusting into her. Her eyes held lust and wonder and then there it was. I could see it now and there was no going back: Faith loved me. She loved me, and everything I’d ever wanted was right here, right now.

We weren’t fucking, screwing, shagging, doing the diddy, or any other term anybody could think of. She was making love to me because she loved me and there was no way she could hide it, not at this moment. Faith loved me.

That thought, that certainty sent me flying, and I didn’t come back to earth for a long time. When I got back she was still on top of me, placing the most tender, soft and delicate kisses all over me. My neck, my breasts, my stomach, my thighs, my jaw, my forehead, everywhere.

“…Faith.”

She didn’t respond, she just kept moving.

“Faith.”

I shouldn’t have had any energy or strength left, but hey I’m a Slayer. That means I can summon up what I need to get the job done.

I reached down and pulled her up to me. We both almost lost it as her body slid roughly along mine, but then our eyes were level.

“Kiss me.”

She hesitated, but I didn’t. When our lips met, it was me and her all mingled together, and I didn’t ever want it any other way. We heated up again, just like that, and I wondered how we were going to survive each other.

I rolled her over, and she fought me. I couldn’t believe it. Here I’d graciously let her be the top Slayer, and now when it was my turn to play, she fought me. No way was that happening.

I grabbed a wrist in each hand, and pinned her to the mattress while I straddled her stomach. She kept trying to break loose, so I placed my knee in between her legs and pushed up into her. The groan was forced out of her, and I leaned in close as I looked her in the eye:

“It’s my turn now, F.”

Then I began teasing her, my kisses light and barely there. I’d let it deepen, then as she responded, I’d pull back and focus on something else besides her lips. It wasn’t long before she was squirming and trying to free her hands for real, but I wasn’t having any of that, not yet anyway.

I kissed my way slowly down to the breast I could reach, and Faith twitched and jerked with my every touch. When I finally got there I kissed all around, just not anywhere near her nipple. And yes, I was well aware that was where she wanted me to go.

After a long time, I did blow on it. Okay it was mean, I’ll admit that, but I am kind of mean sometimes. I like to tease, and I loved having her at my mercy. Also, I guess I was still a little pissed about how she wouldn’t let me touch her in the pool.

I began swirling my tongue around, just not where she wanted it the most. Her body lifted up every time I nipped at her, and she was actually shaking now. Then it occurred to me, she wasn’t talking, not one word. In fact, she was barely even making a sound.

I don’t know how I knew, but I did. She was deliberately trying to stay removed from what was happening. Whatever logic she was using, it had her convinced that if she stayed silent she wouldn’t be admitting anything. She’d still have a way out if she needed it, just in case.

Well she didn’t need it, and as I stated before…she’s not going anywhere. “Get some, get gone”? She was all done with that forever. I was instituting the brand new, Buffy Summers approved, “Get some, get some more” way of life. It was a nice try on her part, but I wanted to hear her…and I was going to.

“Sorry F, but you aren’t staying quiet ever again.”

Then my mouth latched onto her nipple, and it wasn’t long before Faith had lots to say. Most of it was swearing, some of it was in another language, but the one thing I could always understand was “B”. Of course it sounded more like “BBBBB…” which when you get right down to it, sounds way better than the usual. And the usual’s pretty great.

I used my mouth on every piece of flesh I could reach. By the time I was finished, she was going to be one big hickey because I could not seem to stop biting her. I loved how she would cry out, then sigh as I soothed her with my tongue. It was addictive.

Eventually I made my way back up to her face, and I hovered over her until her eyes opened. We stared at each other for a few seconds, then she smiled at me. I kissed her, hard, and as our tongues began dancing and teasing, I thrust my leg up into her again.

She cried out and looked at me with amusement:

“You are such a bitch.”

I kissed her again, my tongue tickling the roof of her mouth:

“True, but I’m your bitch.”

Then I made my way back down her body as far as I could. I relaxed my grip on her wrists, but as soon as she moved, I brought her hands down by her sides and pinned her again. She groaned loudly, pleasure and frustration all mixed together. That was just fine with me. I’d learned a long time ago that a little pain and frustration always made the pleasure sweeter, and I wanted this to be the best it could be for Faith.

Okay, so here it was. I was literally face to face with it. I’d thought for sure when the moment came, I’d be nervous, but I wasn’t. I wasn’t anything except ready. Ready to show her how much I loved her, ready to show her who she belonged to, and ready to make her scream until she just couldn’t scream anymore. I was ready to make her mine.

Of course I’d never done this before. I knew what I liked, but I’d never tried it on someone else. I mean a woman. But I’d studied for this moment, some sex manuals are really a big help, especially the ones with pictures. Plus my best friend’s a lesbian so…

God, what a series of humiliating conversations. “So uh…Hey uh...Will? When you go…you know, down on a woman...um…how uh…how exactly do you do it?”

Before then, I’d had no idea that Willow could blush redder than her own hair. But she can and she did, a bunch of times. She also explained a lot of things to me, a bunch of times.

It was embarrassing, but I was determined that when I finally got here, I would have at least a basic idea of where to go and what to do. And I did. So no time like the present.

Okay, I was a little nervous. It was hard to believe I was where I was, getting ready to do what I was getting ready to do. But my nerves came only from the fact that I wanted it to be special for Faith. I wanted to convey to her how much I loved her, how much I wanted her, how much I needed her. That’s a lot to ask from a totally inexperienced mouth.

I started off slowly, kind of just nuzzling my way around, saying hello, getting the lay of the land…or in this case, the lay of the lesbian. Things were okay, a little weird at first, but then they were fine. I felt welcome, at home, so I decided to escalate my activities.

My tongue licked out very delicately, and I wondered if she would even feel it. I had my answer almost immediately. It was like I’d hit her with a stun gun. Every muscle in her body went tense, then she began moaning my name as she struggled to pull her hands free. Now that kind of reaction will really help boost a girl’s confidence.

I began licking harder, and Faith seemed to be enjoying herself. I vaguely remembered something about the alphabet, but I was way too busy to start anything that complex. I figured I should just concentrate on what was in front of me.

I could always do numbers if I had to, those were much easier for me to remember. The alphabet’s just never been my friend. I always get confused around the “Q” part, and from “V” on out, well I have to concentrate really hard to get the order right. I couldn’t afford that kind of distraction right now.

I knew I probably shouldn’t have started off with this. It’s the big one after all, but I wanted to do it for a couple of reasons. First I figured it would show Faith I was totally serious right from the get go. It’s not the kind of thing I’d do to someone unless I loved them, and anybody who knows me would know that. That’s just the kind of girl I am.

My other reason for being so eager to do it, well I love having it done to me. Spike was really good at it, and Riley did it a lot too. I learned that even when it’s bad, it’s good…not that Riley was…The point is, even if I don’t do it just right, she should still get some pleasure from it. Plus the idea of doing it to her gets me all hot and bothered and yes, I am embarrassed.

She spread her legs wide as I began swirling my tongue around her…what do you call it? Button? Ha,ha,ha! That sounds so stupid. Clit? Too clinical. Source of all pleasure? Dumb, but maybe accurate because as I sucked and ran my tongue along it, Faith went absolutely crazy.

I kept going, keeping a steady rhythm like I like, and it wasn’t long before she was coming. I was pretty proud of myself, but I didn’t have a lot of time to savor it because then she was coming again. That’s twice, all fast and intense.

I’d given her a multiple my first time out, and how great is that? I must be like a prodigal…prodigy. I am a prodigy when it comes to oral sex with women, or at least Faith.

I still had her hands pinned, and I hadn’t left the vicinity. There was a problem though… Faith had already been…uh…kind of messy, but now? I didn’t have a clue what to do. I was wracking my brain, but I didn’t remember anything about this in my studies. And no way did Will and I get into it. There have to be some kind of limits between even the very best of friends, and that…this was ours.

All right, I had to do something. I wasn’t nearly done, I hadn’t even gotten to look around yet, and I wasn’t leaving without doing a few more things. But this was enough of a challenge when I could see everything clearly, and it wasn’t so slippery and sticky. Boy, you’d think life would prepare you better for moments like this.

I just had to think about what I normally do when this happens. Hmm, well, it doesn’t “normally” happen because I’ve only been with guys, and guys are a whole different thing. So okay, what about when it happens to me?

As hard as I tried to remember, I had no idea what they did. I was always way too busy coming and recovering to pay much attention. Okay then, what had Faith just done to me?

The big problem with that was that I couldn’t really see too clearly from Pluto, which is where she kept sending me over and over again. And over again.

No help there, no help anywhere, so I decided to just start cleaning up. It was all going great until she started shaking and moaning and then…she was coming again. Okay, so clearly I didn’t know something because this seemed like it was a never-ending battle.

The whole clean-up process just made more to clean-up. It was all pretty confusing, and I was going to have to ask her about it later when we’d calmed down a bit, but right now? Well right now I was going to have to work around it because I had other things to do.

Like being so far up her, she was going to see stars. Yep, I can talk dirty too. They say it’s always the prudes who are the wildest, and in some ways I think that’s true. She really had no idea, but she was definitely going to find out.

I needed a hand now. Not the round of applause kind…although that would have been nice too. But it’s not like I walk around every day hoping to get a round of applause because how weird would that be? Sure I’m a little conceited, but I’m not an egomaniac…

I needed my hand, probably both, and that meant I was going to have to let go of hers. Not ideal at all because I was in no way ready to give up control just yet. But there was no way around it, so I was going to have to risk it.

I was pretty sure I could keep her in line. I know whenever somebody’s had their tongue inside of me, they’ve still been in charge. But I also know that whenever you’re dealing with Faith, well all bets are off.

But they say, “No guts, no glory” so I went for it quickly, not even giving her a chance to realize that she was loose. I spread her so I could see, and seriously it was…Ahh, there we go. I stiffened my tongue and thrust it in as far as it would go. My nose banged up tight against her, and breathing was going to be out of the question for a while.

That was fine, in fact I had a real advantage. Slayers can hold their breath for quite awhile, it comes in handy sometimes, like now. Of course vampires never have to breathe and I swear, Spike could go hours and…

The important thing was that I didn’t need to breathe right then. I just needed to concentrate and hopefully do it right. Or at least good enough to please her. The good news was that I had that whole prodigy thing working for me.

Faith didn’t seem at all concerned about my inexperience. Her hands were wrapped in my hair, and she was holding onto my head tightly, I guess to keep me right where I was. No worries there, I wasn’t leaving any time soon.

I began exploring, my tongue probing and swirling around all the different places inside of her, but I could only go so far, and it wasn’t enough for me. I grabbed her by her hips and pulled her down the bed until her legs were hanging off the edge. It was a great move on my part.

This new position made everything so much easier, and then I remembered. I draped her legs over my shoulders, and everything was suddenly easy access. The angle was all different, different better, so I was able to dive right in.

I’d have to say what I was doing was okay because she was screaming like I was killing her. After just a couple of minutes, her legs began shaking, her grip tightened, and her thighs began crushing my head. I kept going, and then here she came.

In this scenario I knew just what to do, and I was happy to do it. I don’t want to get into all the specifics, but feeling her come while I was inside of her, well that was the most beautiful moment of my life. And there was a big added bonus, I somehow came too.

I wanted to do all kinds of other things to her, but you can’t do a lifetime’s worth in one session. We had to rest, we had to take a break, but I didn’t want to. If we’d have killed each other making love, I would have died happy. Hey now that I think about it, I guess that’s what we were always trying to do to each other.

I pulled my tongue out slowly, but I couldn’t resist running it over her as I went on my way. She was sprawled out, almost passed out, but when I hit her love button, ha ha ha, she flinched and moaned my name. I liked the sound of that, so I did it two more times. God, the way she says “Buffy”…

Licking and kissing all the way, I finally made it back to face to face with her. Her eyes were closed, her body was still trembling slightly, and her skin was sweaty and flushed. She was breathing all heavy, and I was getting turned on again.

I didn’t move, I just stayed on top of her with my face nestled into the side of her neck. I inhaled deeply over and over, and I wished I could somehow always smell what I was smelling right now. After a few minutes, her arms wrapped around my back and her fingers slowly traced out patterns on my skin.

We didn’t speak, we just sort of basked there together. Me? I was happy, deliriously so. I was also satisfied, tired, exhilarated, blown away, horny and right where I was supposed to be. Right here, spread out on top of this woman was my place, and trust me when I say it was way better than heaven. I should know.

“B?”

“Hmm?”

She didn’t say anything else, but her hand was on my ass and I think she got distracted.

“F?”

“Yeah?”

“I thought you were going to ask me something.”

“I was?”

“Yeah.”

“…Oh yeah.”

“So?”

“What the hell just happened?”

I don’t know why, but that made me laugh. It started off as a giggle, but it wasn’t long before I was just flat-out howling. When I had control of myself, I lifted my head and looked her right in the eye:

“We made love.”

“Yeah, that’s what I figured.”

She looked calm, in fact she looked happy.

“Is that okay?”

“What are you, nuts? Why the fuck wouldn’t it be okay? I love sex.”

“I know, but that was…”

“It was the best fucking sex ever. You were incredible.”

I was immensely proud, but I wanted to be modest. A prodigy has to get used to praise.

“Well you weren’t so bad either.”

“Course I was great. What’d ya think, I was all talk?”

“No, I just didn’t…”

“But you? Jesus B, you’ve never even been with a woman before, but can’t prove anything by the way you went at it.”

I snuggled back into her, embarrassed that I was embarrassed, but happy too. Life was perfect and…then I remembered what I’d been talking about. Was she deliberately trying to change the subject? Maybe I wasn’t even good and she was just saying that so I’d…

Her arms tightened around me:

“B?”

“What?”

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong.”

“Right.”

I burrowed into her shoulder even further. Please don’t let my happy time end like this.

“Wanna look at me?”

I stayed right where I was.

“Buffy, please?”

I lifted my head then.

“So what’s the problem?”

“There’s no prob…”

“Stop with that, course there’s a problem. Can practically hear the wheels turning in there.”

She caressed the side of my face, and it made me want to talk to her.

“We need to talk.”

Her dimples came out at that.

“Already? Thought it’d take longer ‘fore we got to that stage.”

“Faith, what do you think we just did?”

She looked nothing but confused.

“Didn’t we just go over that?”

“Humor me.”

“Okay. We just had the best sex ever.”

“Is that it?”

“‘It’? B, I’m not following here.”

I started to get up then. I knew it was stupid of me and I knew I was overreacting. I’d suspected she might do this, but for some reason it still hurt, and a lot more than I ever thought it would.

“Wait, where ya goin’?”

“I’m going to take a shower.”

“A shower? No c’mon, stay here with me.”

“Why?”

“Why? Because you just fucked my brains out, I don’t wanna move, and I wanna hold you while I fall asleep.”

I was up now, and I was just barely hanging on.

“And then what?”

“B…”

“Answer me!”

“Well, was kinda hopin’ we’d go another round.”

“That’s it?”

“Huh?”

“I’ll tell you what F, why don’t you just go fuck yourself instead?”

Then I was in the bathroom with the door locked. I turned on the shower, got in, and then the tears came. I couldn’t believe this was really happening, but it was. How could she act like…After what we’d just shared, how could she pretend it was just great sex?

I’d planned for this possibility. I’d said I was ready for it, but I wasn’t. I guess I really believed if we made love, she’d be so blown away, so filled with love for me, she’d stay on this side of her wall.

I felt blindsided. I thought she was fine, she seemed fine. Maybe it really didn’t mean the same thing to her that it meant to…The bathroom door literally exploded inward.

The shower door flew open and I was hauled out soaking wet.

“What the hell are you…”

That was all I got out before Faith kissed me. I struggled, no way was I having sex with her when she…

She picked me up and carried me back into the bedroom, laying me gently on the bed as she followed close behind.

“Get off me.”

“Not in this lifetime, but you can dream.”

“I’m not kidding.”

“Me either.”

I took a swing at her, but she caught my hand and held it to the mattress. Fine, I had two hands. It was a repeat performance.

“Faith, I’d advise you to let me up right now.”

“Hmm…okay, I’ll take it under advisement.”

“Goddamn it, get off me!”

“Nope, I like it here.”

I tried to knee her but she moved first, blocking me with her leg.

“Can you calm down a sec and listen to me?”

“Fine, let me up and I’ll listen.”

She laughed then:

“Right. I let you up and you’ll beat the shit outta me.”

“No I won’t.”

“B, I know you.”

She was right. The second I was loose, I was going to kick her ass until she begged me to stop.

“Fuck, you are so hot right now.”

I just stared daggers at her.

“What happens if I kiss you?”

“I guess you’ll lose a lip.”

She laughed again.

“Okay, no kissing for now.”

“Let me up, Faith.”

“Yeah, in a sec. Got something to say first.”

“Then say it and get off.”

“Now you’re speakin’ my language.”

I so wanted to kill her.

“Fuck you.”

“Hey, nice one! And man, do I hope you mean that.”

“I’m thinking our ‘fucking’ days are over.”

“Buffy, we’ve never ‘fucked’ and we never will, okay?”

What was she saying? Was she saying what I thought she was?

“Before, I wasn’t payin’ attention. You know me, I don’t talk like you. Don’t always get the little differences, even when I oughta.”

“What are you saying?”

“I’m saying you and I made love. I’m saying I came like a motherfucker about a million times ‘cause it was you.”

“Really?”

“Of course really.”

I so wanted this to be what I thought it was, but I had to be sure.

“Faith, I don’t do flings.”

“Wow, big newsflash there.”

“I mean…”

“I know what ya mean.”

“You do?”

“Did you hit your head or something? Jesus. Okay, gonna say it plain and simple. Kinda tough for me to get it out, not ‘cause I don’t mean it, but ‘cause I’ve never said it before. Just feels a little weird, ya know?”

“Can I sit up for this?”

She looked surprised, but she got off me. She sat next to me and held my hand in hers:

“Alright, here goes: B, I love you. I’ve always loved you. Most of the time not so good, but I think I’m getting better at it. Feels like I won the lottery tonight, and I’ve never been so fucking happy in my whole life. You’re not a one night stand, you’re not a short term thing. You’re ‘Buffy’ B, and I want you for as long as you’ll let me have you.”

I kissed her then. She loved me, and she’d told me so easily.

“Look, I’m no prize. I’m stupid as shit about this stuff, and I’m not the best you could do. But I love you B, there’s nobody who could ever love you more. I promise you that’s never gonna change.”

I started crying.

Faith pulled me into a hug:

“What’s wrong now?”

“Nothing’s wrong…I’m…I’m just so happy.”

“So you’re bawling?”

“Yes! It’s a thing.”

“It’s a crazy as hell thing.”

I snuggled back into her, my lips nibbling along her jaw.

“Do you have a better idea?”

“Might.”

“Like what?”

“Thought we could go that other round now. Nothing says ‘I love you’ like a good fuc…scre…Christ B, what the hell do you want me to call it?”

“I don’t care. Now that I know you love me, you can call it whatever you want to.”

“So if I tell ya I wanna fuck ya now, you won’t start crying?”

“I promise I won’t.”

She kissed me and pushed me back onto the bed.

“So, you’re one of them high maintenance chicks.”

“Of course I am.”

“Figures. Just had to fall for the one who thinks her shit don’t…”

God she was gross, and somehow it was a huge turn-on.

“Just shut up and kiss me.”

One thing led to another, and that led to another, and on and on it went. When it ended, Faith was collapsed across me sideways as we both fought to regain our breath.

“For real B, we’re gonna kill each other.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“Not a bad way to go out though.”

“I was thinking that earlier.”

She was running her fingers slowly up and down my thigh.

“Sure wish we could stay a few more days.”

“I do too.”

“What if we tell Giles some story, like the locals heard the demons are coming back or…”

“Faith…”

“…could even say we’ve seen some weird shit…I got it! We’ll say you had a Slayer dream!”

“Faith…”

“He can’t prove ya didn’t. Should buy us at least…”

“It was a lie.”

Her tongue was making its way up my thigh now.

“Sure, but it’s a good lie. Nobody can say otherwise and…”

“No, I lied to you.”

Her tongue was almost at the point of no return, so I stopped her.

“Hey, just getting to the good part.”

“Faith, you need to listen.”

“But B…”

I almost caved because she had the most adorable pout ever on her face. I did lean down and kiss her bottom lip. She had it all pushed out, what else could I do? Things got hot and heavy in like five seconds, but I made myself pull back.

“Will ya stop being such a tease? I wanna…”

“Just two minutes, okay? This is important.”

“Not more important than…Fine!”

She didn’t look at all happy, but she was listening now.

“Okay, I need to explain this to you.”

“No ya don’t, I get it. You don’t wanna lie to Giles.”

“No, I said ‘this’ was all a lie.”

“What was?”

I took a deep breath and just said it:

“This whole trip. There were never any vampires or demons. The ones we ran into when we first got here were just a fluke.”

“What? You and Giles said we had to come here ‘cause there was this big bad ass…”

I took her hands in mine:

“Faith, I realized back home that I was in love with you, but I couldn’t get you to see it. I told Giles, he agreed to let me pick the place, and Will and I found a spot with pretty much no demon activity. We came here so I could seduce you.”

“What?!”

“The Dawsons delayed everything, but I called Giles and told him to make sure the room next to ours stayed empty after they left.”

She looked almost stunned as the pieces began falling into place.

“Was wondering why nobody ever showed up.”

“I had to do it this way, you were so stupid at home.”

“…So you really were hanging all over me.”

“I could have been curtains, I was so hanging all over you.”

“Thought I was losing my mind. Jesus B, why didn’t ya just tell me?”

“Because I knew you wouldn’t believe me. I knew I had to show you first.”

She got up and walked over to the refrigerator. The sight of her naked body took my breath away, and when she bent over to get the drinks…I was pretty sure I had a point to make, but for the life of me I just couldn’t remember what it was.

What I needed was a camera crew…no one of those court transcribers…Okay, think…Right, I was saying…God, her breasts were…I’ve totally lost it again.

She opened my can and handed it to me, then flung her head back to drink hers down. Her throat was moving and her hair was all damp and stuck to…Why was she looking at me…What? Was I supposed to be talking?

A drop of Coke had escaped and was now rolling down her left breast…

“B!”

“What?!”

“You planning to answer sometime tonight?”

It was reaching for her nipple now, and that’s a taste I’ve never tasted. Faith mixed with Coke. I’ll bet that tastes a lot better than regular Coke…even way better than Diet Coke. If I could bottle and sell that, people would be lining up for miles and miles just to…

“Buffy!”

“What?!”

“What the hell are you doing?!”

“Nothing.”

“You gonna answer the question then?”

“Yes, of course I am! Uh……so what was the question again?”

The smile on her face was definitely wicked.

“Guess you’re too busy looking at my tits to…”

“No, I’m too busy looking at the Coke on your breast."

“So you sayin’ ya got a thing for pop?”

“No, I’m saying I have a thing for anything that’s on you.”

Her smile grew and she jumped back onto the bed.

“That works for me.”

She was kissing all along my neck, almost purring as she went.

“So you’re not mad that I lied to you?”

“Mad? Nah, I get it. Told ya I was dumb sometimes when it comes to this stuff.”

I ran my finger around her dimple:

“No you’re not…you’re just a little slow.”

“Just never figured you could ever love me back.”

“Hmm…maybe you are dumb sometimes.”

We both laughed then, and of course felt the need for an urgent, soul searing kiss.

“Serious now B, took a lot of guts to do what you did.”

“I didn’t have a choice. I love you so much, Faith.”

“Crazy as fuck, but I’ll take it.”

I rolled us over, sitting my…down on her…you know. Both of us groaned at the contact.

“...Tryin’ something new, B?”

“Chapter Twelve.”

“Huh?”

“It’s a long story. I’ll tell you later.”

Chapter Nine

Later turned out to be a long time away, and by then we’d forgotten. I doubt very much that Faith cared where I’d learned to do what I did, she just thoroughly enjoyed it and wanted me to do it again. And again.

The sun was coming up, all golden and warm…this place really was paradise. Being held in her arms wasn’t too unparadisey either. I could hear her heart beating, and when I looked up at her, she was smiling down with so much love…Well I could have just stayed inside her gaze forever.

Then her eyes softened even more, and I knew whatever she was going to say was going to be the most beautiful thing I’d ever heard in my life:

“Starvin’ B, you?”

Okay, so she was still Faith. Nothing anyone could do about that, not that I’d want them to. It’s Faith I love, every bit of her…literally.

We ordered a huge room service breakfast, and Faith told them to knock and leave it outside. Then she insisted we had time for a quickie before the food arrived. Either we were at it longer than we thought or the delivery was prompter than it’d ever been before. The bottom line? I was screaming my head off when there was a knock on the door.

I was embarrassed, but Faith didn’t care.

“Not like they know it was you. Coulda been me.”

“Regardless, it’s…”

“It’s us B, always gonna be that way.”

“You think?”

She’d successfully rolled the cart in, and I was very much enjoying the sight of her breasts bouncing and swaying as she strolled along totally nude.

“Hell yeah. We’ll be goin’ at it in some supply closet at the ‘Old Slayers Home’.”

I laughed at the image of her as an old lady, still just as sexy as she was right now. When my eyes met hers I felt a shiver run down my spine, and her words made me even crazier:

“Gonna make you scream then too.”

Okay yes, I wanted sex again, right now.

“Whoa, hold on, B. We agreed we needed to eat some food.”

She was so cute, pouring our juice, making my tea just like I like it, separating the red Fruit Loops out for me. She was whistling under her breath as she got everything ready, and I knew I would never stop loving her. I was hooked forever, and I felt nothing but happiness at that thought. My heart was hers, and there was no one I trusted more with it.

“What?”

She was staring at me with a shy goofy smile on her face.

“Nothing. I was just thinking about how much I love you.”

“Oh. Well that’s not nothing B, that’s everything.”

“Yes it is.”

Her smile almost blinded me.

“Alright B, just for that you get extra jelly.”

“And?”

“’And’? Damn, sure are greedy. Okay, can give you this too.”

She leaned down and kissed me, and okay yes, I definitely wanted sex right now.

“…B…”

“Yes?”

“Pretty sure if you keep doin’ that, food’s gonna get cold.”

“And?”

“We…gotta…eat…and……Buffy…”

Then I heard a loud growl. It was my stomach, a traitor to the cause.

She pulled away from me, and I whined:

“Faith…”

“No, we gotta eat. Can’t have ya wasting away, I need all your stuff just like it is.”

“Fine, but I’m doing this under protest.”

She handed me two plates filled with food, pulled the cart right next to the bed, and got back where she was supposed to be. It was hard, but we concentrated on the food until we’d finished. I did prevent her from using up all of the syrup, I had plans for it.

Eating in bed is messy, and having sex with syrup is even messier. It is fun though, so having the sheet stuck to different parts of my body was a price I was more than willing to pay. Faith’s breasts were the only thing that didn’t have any syrup on them, which was strange because that’s where the syrup first made its appearance. Life’s a mystery, for sure.

We slept for a few hours all wrapped together, and when I woke up, Faith was lying on her side, her head propped up on her hand as she stared at me. She didn’t say a word, and I felt a little on the self-conscious side:

“Uh…hi.”

“Sleep good?”

“Oh yeah. I think someone kinda wore me out.”

“Know the feeling.”

She just kept staring at me.

“What? Was I talking in my sleep? Is my hair funny?”

“Nope.”

“Well, what? Why are you staring at me?”

“Just trying to figure out how you can be so fucking beautiful.”

God, she just makes me melt.

“Oh.”

“I mean, you’re pretty. Way, way, way pretty, but that’s not it. Even when you’re sleeping, whatever’s in you just kinda shoots out…You’re so beautiful Buffy, like nobody I’ve ever seen.”

I got all teary then.

“Faith…”

“Fuck B, not gonna start crying are you?”

I was and I did.

She rolled over onto her back and pulled me to her. Her arms wrapped around me, and she laughed all low and sexy.

“You are without a doubt the toughest person I’ve ever known, but man you are such a big sissy girl.”

I punched her shoulder.

“Are you complaining?”

“Hell no. I dig everything about you.”

“Then shut up.”

“Okay.”

We snuggled for awhile, and of course that all escalated until we made the slowest, softest love know to man…or woman.

It went on forever, and it was so beautiful and intense I really have no idea how to describe it. It was like it was us, every part of us, just right there out in the open. We had nothing between us, no walls, no defenses, there was nothing but her and me.

We decided to go to our favorite restaurant which was a bit painful because it meant we had to get out of bed. We eased the pain by showering together, and all I’ll say is: water running down Faith. It took us almost an hour to get out of there.

The bathroom looked like a tornado had blown through it. There was a piece of the molding smashed in, a towel rack was down, the door was broken from when Faith came in to get me, and we’d left the water running with the shower door open for a couple of hours while we got things straightened out between us. The bathroom was definitely worse for wear…

“Worse for wear”, that’s kind of weird. It’s almost like Yoda talk or maybe it’s just old British…The point is, isn’t everything worse with wear or use? Why do…

Her voice came in loud and clear from the sitting area:

“Hey, no time for daydreaming, Blondie. Feel like I could eat a horse.”

“One more minute!”

Great, another one. Who would want to eat a horse? I guess that’s what that means because you’d have to be really desperate to eat a horse, but then when you consider all the alternatives, eating a horse is definitely not the absolute worst…

“Buffy Summers, if you don’t get moving…”

I was tempted to make her come and get me, but we really did want to eat at our place one last time.

“I’m coming!”

“No you’re not, but promise I’m gonna make that happen later.”

Then we were out the door, and finally it was handholding time. I was so happy about that, I was swinging our hands almost wildly between us as we walked.

“B, what the hell are you doing?”

“I’ve been wanting to hold your hand since we got here. I’m just really happy.”

“Well you’re makin’ us look like geeks.”

But her grip tightened on my hand, and a big smile lit her face.

We got a great table and our waiter, and we ate like two Slayers who’d been having endless sex. It was crazy how much we ate. No one said a word, they just kept bringing what we ordered, but they had to be wondering where we were putting it all.

For dessert Faith got her chocolate cake, and I thought I’d have the hot fudge sundae, for old time’s sake. Our waiter smiled when he brought it:

“Please be careful this time. Chocolate is meant to be eaten, not worn.”

“Don’t know about that. B pulls it off like ya wouldn’t believe.”

I flushed red, but Faith and the waiter just laughed.

“I see. Well in that case, enjoy it in whatever way you choose.”

He walked off still laughing, and I could feel my face burning.

“So B, ya on the level this time?”

“Well I do have plans, but I don’t need any tricks to make them happen.”

“No, ya don’t.”

I ate the sundae as slowly as I could, licking the spoon suggestively and staring at her as I did. She was squirming by the second bite, and I wasn’t even halfway done before she was calling for the waiter. She was on her feet looking down at me when he got there:

“Same card, give yourself a hundred. Appreciate the service, but we gotta go.”

“It’s been a pleasure, ladies.”

Faith jerked me out of my seat and dragged me outside. We went down the side alley and she slammed me up against the wall.

“But F, I didn’t get to tell him goodbye.”

“Really shouldn’t do that with your tongue.”

“I shouldn’t?”

“Not unless it’s on me.”

Then we were kissing, and my leg was wrapped around her waist. We were seconds away from doing it, but Faith…that’s right, Faith…stopped us.

“Can’t do it here.”

“Yes we can.”

“People walk through here all the time.”

“Then they’ll get a great show.”

“B…”

I was using my sundae tongue on the sensitive spot on her neck…

“Okay…stop B…”

…and my hand was under her shirt. May I say that her not wearing a bra is the absolute best thing about her?

“Buffy…families…kids…please.”

I stopped reluctantly as that sunk in.

“Just gotta hold on until we get back to…”

“No, come on.”

I grabbed her hand and we went down by the beach. Slayer speed quickly got us to a deserted spot, and I hauled her into a little clump of trees that offered us some privacy.

“B, what the…”

There was no more talking. I had her twice up against a tree, and I had to make myself stop. I held her upright while she recovered, and the feeling of her breath blowing on my neck made me want her all over again.

“Jesus...B, gotta give me…a minute here.”

“What? I’m not doing anything.”

“Not this sec, no.”

But she was right, I could have taken her again and again. Okay clearly I couldn’t get enough of her, but I didn’t want to kill her…not literally anyway.

“Okay, I’ll be good.”

“‘Sides, was you who was teasing me.”

“And?”

“Think I’m supposed to be doing the ravaging here.”

“Really? I think the rule is that the stronger, better Slayer gets to…”

We switched positions just like that.

“Guess you need to learn your place.”

“And where might that be?”

“Under me.”

“Are you sure, because I know I’m the Head Slayer and…”

It was a long time before we made it back to the hotel, satisfied, sandy, and happy. The moon was out as was every star ever made, and they all lit up the water as we walked along.

I sighed and she pulled me closer.

“What’s with the big exhale?”

“I just wish we didn’t have to go back tomorrow.”

“Yeah, with ya on that.”

We sat down on a lounge chair by our pool, me safely tucked between her legs with her arms wrapped around me. We stared up at the sky for awhile, just enjoying the quiet together.

“Faith?”

“Yeah?”

I leaned back into her, my head coming to rest on her shoulder as I kissed her neck:

“I love you.”

“I know, and I gotta say it’s the best fucking thing ever.”

“And I gotta agree. In fact, I’d say it’s wicked great.”

“Don’t start with me, B.”

“But it’s wicked fun, F.”

“You’re just beggin’ to get your ass tossed in the pool.”

“Right. No way would you…Faith!”

I was sailing through the air, and I just managed to hold my breath before I went under. As I came up, I was hit in the face with a wave of water, thanks to Ms. Cannonball.

The battle lasted forever, and this time when it ended, it was me who carried her out of the water. I leaned down and kissed her with all the love I felt, and when our lips parted, she was smiling up at me.

“So, let that be a lesson to ya.”

“Oh it definitely was F, it was a wicked lesson.”

We entered our room to find it was still a mess. We’d left the “Do Not Disturb” sign on the door, and the staff had heeded the warning.

“Oops.”

“Probably for the best. Looks like a fucking bomb went off in here.”

“It’s definitely an area of the disaster kind.”

She grabbed a towel and threw it around her shoulders.

“Tell ya what, you strip the bed and I’ll grab us some fresh sheets.”

She was out the door, so I got to work. I stripped the bed, gathered up all the used towels and put everything into a neat and tidy pile. There, that looked……

God, Giles was going to kill us. Not only were we going to have to pay for the repairs in the bathroom, Faith had also torn a huge chunk of the molding off the French doors. No wonder Slayers never get to go on vacation, we’re a menace to hotels everywhere.

But back to Giles…Maybe he’d be so thrilled that my plan had worked, he wouldn’t even care that the whole thing had cost him a million dollars. Hey a girl can hope, even if it’s a delusional hope…….God, he was going to kill us.

“Got’em. Figured we needed towels too.”

“I can’t believe you got back so fast. Did you run all the way to the lobby?”

“Didn’t go there. Just to the linen room.”

“Oh, it’s lucky you ran into somebody. I didn’t think they’d be around this late at…”

“I busted in.”

“Faith!”

She looked not the slightest bit guilty.

“What? Think I was gonna put a show on for the perverts in the lobby? Not doing a wet T contest tonight for anybody…’cept you.”

When I thought about it, I realized it was a good decision on her part. I was definitely the jealous type, and I didn’t want anyone but me enjoying what she had to offer.

“Well maybe we should have called and…”

“…maybe got’em by tomorrow. C’mon B, let’s rinse off and get the bed made.”

We got in and out in a reasonably fast time. Just some kissing and very creative back washing…front washing…side washing. Still all in all, we managed to control ourselves.

We didn’t bother putting on our “night shit”, what would be the point? Instead we started making up the bed. It all went fine as we put on the fitted sheet, but when I shook out the top sheet and watched it float down, I got this strange feeling of déjà vu.

I looked across the bed at her:

“They smell good, don’t they?”

Faith looked startled:

“What?”

“Clean sheets…like summer.”

“I wouldn’t…B?”

“Are you remembering this?”

She was, I could see that she was. She looked so sad, of course she was remembering.

“...Yeah.”

I walked around to her side of the bed and took her hands in mine:

“But it’s different this time.”

“Yeah.”

“I never forgot Faith, never. And this time I’m staying.”

“Yeah?”

“Absolutely yeah.”

“…Good ‘cause I was gonna have to insist on it.”

Her arms were around me then, pulling me close.

“I like it when you insist.”

“B?”

“Shhh…don’t. None of that matters anymore, it hasn’t for a long time.”

“But…”

“Hey…”

I pulled back so I could look at her.

“…don’t make me get tough.”

She smiled then.

“What would ya do?”

“Well first…”

I shoved her down onto the bed.

“…I’d kiss you.”

And I did.

“Then I’d have to show you who’s boss.”

“And ya think that’s you?”

I sat down on her and wriggled around until she groaned and grabbed me by my hips.

“Don’t you?”

“Right at this moment? No doubt about it.”

I leaned down and stretched out, our bodies touching everywhere.

“I love you Faith. And as much as I regret so many things, I wouldn’t change a moment of our past. It led us right here, and there’s no better place than where we are now.”

My hands were busy exploring her, God she was so perfect, and she couldn’t really respond with words.

“So there’s stuff in the past that’s painful, things we did that we feel bad about…”

Faith was moving now. I guess it would be more accurate to say that I was moving her because it wasn’t like I was giving her a choice.

“…but they’re in the past, and that’s where they’re staying. Because here in the present?”

I was inside her now, moving with Slayer speed as I took her where we both needed to go.

“Well here in the present there’s just room for you and me, the way we love each other, the way we need each other and…F?”

I made her answer me, leaving her hanging right on the edge until she did:

“…Y…Yeah?”

“The way we fuck each other.”

It was a good rest of the night, and when we finally went to sleep, we were wrapped in each other’s arms. Her head was on my breast, her arm and leg were thrown over me, and the best part? Well there were two best parts. We were both naked and she wasn’t drunk.

I’d brought us here with one goal in mind: to make her see that we belonged together. Well we’re leaving tomorrow afternoon, and my mission’s been accomplished. I’ve got Faith, every delicious inch of her, and she’s got me. I think we both did okay.

I tighten my hold on her because I want her even closer. I know I’ll never get her close enough, but I’m going to spend a lifetime trying. One very happy lifetime.

I feel something wet on my chest…Great, I think she’s drooling on me. Before I can check it out she lets out a loud snort, and now here comes the snoring.

What can I say? She’s Faith. Sure she’s changed, she’s all grown up now, but she’s still all Faith.

Dangerous, wild, hot-tempered, impulsive, rough, crude, funny, sweet, smart, dark, sexy, and nobody’s picnic. Wait, I take that back. She’s my picnic, whatever that means.

All I know for sure is that she’s mine. And how in the hell did I ever get so goddamn lucky? Ha,ha,ha, now I’m swearing like a sailor.

I guess it’s official, the Golden Girl has been corrupted. Well that works for me, in fact I’d say it works like nothing else ever has.

Life is good, life is great, life is just wonderful now. I have everything I’ve ever wanted: my family, my home, my career, and of course the woman I love with every ounce of my soul. Yep, it can’t get any better than this, everything is just perfect.

Oh wait, there is one thing…I still hate Kennedy.

***********************

I woke up to the sound of Faith talking to someone:

“Look, ya wanna give me another complex?”

“Well how else can I take it? Ya did it for B.”

“Yeah okay, was for both of us. But how’s it count if I didn’t even know about it?”

“How come all she had to do was ask?”

“Oh fuck me, Giles c’mon!”

“So you gotta spend some more dough. Ya got plenty!”

“It’s not a waste. Consider it your big chance to make your best Slayers happy.”

“Ya really want the specifics?”

“Didn’t think so. G-man, c’mon. Five more days is all. That’s like nothing.”

“Yeah?! Really?! Thanks, Giles!”

“Um look…Could ya get the room next to us again?”

“No it’s not! Fuck if you saw the set-up, you’d get why it’s important.”

“Wow yeah, that is pricey. So you gotta get the two rooms, plus pay for the other rooms for the people who were supposed to get these rooms?”

“For sure. It’s like payin’ for four rooms. Did I mention this’ll get ya our undying loyalty?”

“Well yeah ya do, but you’ll get it even more…I don’t know. Work with me here.”

“She’s good. She’s perfect. We’re havin’ a blast.”

“Yeah, saw some sights a few days ago. But not like we’re here to sightsee.”

“Giles, we’re in love, okay? Been waiting like fifty years to be with her.”

“Are you kidding me? Only formations I’m looking to climb are on Buffy.”

“I know…I know…Yeah, I’m sure it’s cool…Sounds wicked interesting…Yeah…”

“‘Cause we’d rather fuck each other, okay?! How goddamn old are you anyways?”

“Christ, can hear you cleaning your glasses all the way over here. Sorry.”

“So you’re not mad?”

“Good.”

“Oh man, you wouldn’t believe how happy I am. Hell, I don’t even believe it. She loves me, how’d that ever fucking happen?”

“Thanks Giles, that means a lot to me. I…thanks.”

“Ha! Yeah, guess you’re like my father in-law now.”

“No we didn’t get married, but I wanna.”

“Well who else would give her away?”

“Yeah, I know you do. She knows it too.”

“Look, enough with the sappy shit. So we’re good here?”

“Right. Call back if there’s any trouble, otherwise we’ll figure it’s cool.”

“Thought when I got back I’d…No! You tell that little punk I will kick her ass if she pulls that!”

“What?! Listen, Red better grab hold of her ‘fore I do…Better yet, I’ll sic B on her.”

“No clue, guess I’m gonna have to ask her. Anybody give you the skinny?”

“Oh Christ, don’t start whining. Course you’re always out of the loop, you’re our Watcher.”

“What? Ya want us all squealin’ on each other like a buncha pussies?”

“Okay then. Hey, did Cyclops get back in one piece?”

“Cool, can’t wait to see it.”

“Oh yeah, Xand’s always had balls of steel.”

“Yep, I’ll tell her.”

“I will too!”

“Yeah we’ll try, but seriously we can barely get outta the bed.”

“Got them glasses going again?”

“Well quit askin’ then.”

“I know Giles, I get it. But we’re not Watchers, we’re Slayers. If you were here you…”

“Man, bet you were born with a book in your ass.”

“Yeah, well it ain’t happenin’, okay?”

“Already bought you three fucking books! What, think we never met ya?”

“We will. And Giles? For real now, thanks for everything.”

“I know ya do. I do too. Call if there’s a sitch ya can’t handle, otherwise don’t fucking bug us.”

“Later.”

She hung up and then began walking into the bedroom. Suddenly she stopped and headed back to the phone.

“Yeah hey, can ya send some breakfast our way? The usual’s good, maybe add some extra syrup. Cool. Just knock and…That’s right. Thanks.”

Then she was walking back into the bedroom, and I pretended to be asleep. I wanted to see how she was going to wake me up.

Her lips started at my ankle as she began slowly kissing her way up my leg.

“B…time to…wake up…Breakfast…is on…the way…and…I got…some...great news.”

It’s just like I said, life is perfect, she’s perfect, and we’re perfect together. Five more days in paradise, I can get behind that.

Okay right now, when her mouth is where it is, I can’t really do anything except say her name over and over.

“Faith…”

“Morning, Princess…C’mon…gotta hurry…Room service’ll…be here…soon.”

“Faith…”

“Let’s see about…timing…that scream…just right.”

She is just awful. And she is all mine.

Fucking perfect.

THE END